Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 11 of 11 1 2 9 10 11
e04355 #2688575 06/30/16 05:27 PM
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 182
E
e04355 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
E
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 182
ive said it before, she drives me crazy. i took off work the last few days and we have been taking day trips with the kids. we get along great. but as friends only.

in one sentence, she talks about our future together. doing this and doing that. but in the next sentence, she is totally wayward. she enjoys not having the kids around when they sleep over at my place. and im having a hard time building trust. she filters a lot of what she is telling me and how she is feeling.

i really hate this. i hate that she wont just commit to our marriage. that we are stuck in this testing period. but i really cant see myself living without her. we are sooooo close. so close to making this work and both of us be happy. but on the other hand, so far away. and its a double threat. #1 she is still getting over her OM. #2 we still need to work through what got us to this point.

i understand her hesitation to a point. but for the love of God, jump into the pool already. stop dipping your toes in.

e04355 #2688644 07/01/16 06:29 AM
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 182
E
e04355 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
E
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 182
i feel like we are getting nowhere fast sometimes. like she is giving me just enough crumbs to hang around. but with no real desire to commit any time soon. but then sometimes, she really shows positive signs and almost gets there. its sooo confusing to me.

e04355 #2688652 07/01/16 06:53 AM
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 586
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 586
cake eating and friend zone all rolled into one. Neither are good alone but it looks like you have them both at the same time. Ouch!

So how long are YOU willing to do this dance? Plot a course to when YOU need your W to be firmly committed to the M or you will move on. If it's tomorrow so be it. If it's a year then that is your timeline. You need to drive the timeline that fits YOUR needs, not hers.

Big goals are best achieved by pursuing shorter term, smaller goals that get you to the end you want. Your big goal is a W firmly committed to the M. What are the short term steps that get you there? These are also on your timeline. Track progress and make corrective actions as needed to stay on course.

Nobody plans to fail, but failing to plan is one of the surest ways to failure.


Me:49 W:45
M:19 T:22
EA confirmed and ended 8/2014
S:19,17 D:9,5
mvgfwd2 #2688676 07/01/16 08:22 AM
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,297
Likes: 113
job Offline
Member
Offline
Member
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,297
Likes: 113

Last edited by Cadet; 07/01/16 10:04 AM. Reason: Link

Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Page 11 of 11 1 2 9 10 11

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard