Wife files D after I confronted her 2nd EA (4)

[CWOL]

During separation, but prior to divorce, do you have to split your son's time 50-50 with your wife?

I was wondering about that for my situation. My wife is planning to move next week and she says she's going to take the boys with her for the first week. I sent an email to my lawyer this morning to ask her about that, but she's out of the office and I won't get a response until Monday.

Yep, otherwise I would have kept S11 completely. Separation is basically the same as D, except my alimony payment is a little higher (10-15% higher) and our assets are not divided yet. It's very hard to get >50% custody in my state, unless the other spouse is a felon or drug user, etc. That's why I had to split with her. Also that's why it's important to have an L get as good a temporary separation agreement as possible, because usually that's what determines the permanent custody arrangements after the D.

[doodler]

CWOL,

Thank you for your input and support. I see that you're all over this forum providing a lot of good direction and support to a lot of members. Thanks for all your time and effort, it's greatly appreciated.

[1gr8dad]

One thing my S11 told me that disturbed me: My WW only has one bed at her apartment (it's a one bedroom). She shares the bed with him when he is there. I don't think that is healthy at all, when we were all at our house my WW would sometimes do that as well. I can understand when S was 5 years old, but at for a 11 to 12 year old prepubescent boy? I don't think that is right.
Is there anything I can do about it? Originally she said that she would sleep on the sofa when he's over, but he told me that is not the case.

I agree, your S11 may develop problems sleeping by himself at your place. Do you have a parenting mediator you guys can use? Usually cheaper than a L.

[SH_]

Just checking in to see how CWOL is doing today.

I hope all is well.

[CWOL]

SadHub,
Doing well thanks. Yesterday was able to watch S11 at his game, even though it's not my weekend. They beat their intraleague rival at last!
This morning was tough waking up. The AD is kicking in, slept continuously for 9 hours! But I'll go watch S11's basketball practice in the afternoon.

[CWOL]

I agree, your S11 may develop problems sleeping by himself at your place. Do you have a parenting mediator you guys can use? Usually cheaper than a L.

1gr8dad,
We don't have a mediator, I will have to ask my L about this sleeping arrangement, I am not happy about it at all.

It looks like we are going to a trial setting and I read through 5 pages of discovery requests. It is not going to be pleasant, and so annoying!

[SH_]

CWOL,

Good to hear you are getting some sleep. I wish my AD would help with that.

Congrats again to your son and his team. He is quite the baller.

Enjoy the time with your s today.

[CWOL]

SadHub,
Yes, Lexapro is working well for me, maybe a little too well. Now I'm a little tired waking up in the morning, even after 10 hours of sleep yesterday! I think I'm still adjusting to the med, but it has helped me mood-wise.
You might want to check with your MD to see if you should try something else if your AD is not working for you.
Had a great time practicing basketball with son and his friends yesterday. It was Mother's Day so his baseball team was off. WW dropped him off late at the basketball court but we had a great time there playing a pickup game. It was good to exercise and blow off some steam as well.

[CWOL]

WW dropped off S11 this morning, it'll be my five days now. Conveniently she made him bring a sack of dirty laundry for me to do.

Writing this month's support payment checks is making me physically ill. I cannot believe our "justice" system thinks this is fair, giving my WW half my net income. Especially since she's the one who betrayed and manipulated me for at least nine years! Plus I'm guessing the trial will cost us another $30-50K in legal fees, given the way her L operates.

Ugh... How do I deal with this anger and hopelessness? The AD helps with anxiety and panic attacks and getting rest, but not so much the seething anger I have that's been building for six months. Exercising and doing something else to get my mind off this help temporarily. But whenever I see happy pictures of the three of us together I am so upset and angry, at the selfishness of WW. My house, computer, and phone are filled with these pictures that WW took and hung up. I don't want to go around taking them all down. But I am filled with sadness and anger every time I see them...!

[doodler]

CWOL,

I don't have any words of wisdom on how to deal with the anger. All I can say is that I understand how you feel; I'm dealing with the same thing. But, don't be upset with yourself for being angry. The anger is justified and you should be angry.