So there is a possible OM2, who is pursuing. It is BFFs brother.
Yesterday he sends a whatsapp pick of a half-peeled banana. She replies with what must she do with it. He replies "suck it". This is literally next to me. But i acted AS-IF it meant nothing.
I called one of her friends and she said that my WW was being naive, but the OM2 is very very interested. My WW justifies her actions (still) by saying that she's always been a flirtatious person. I can see that she still loves the attention. Darknes, would say, focus on me. I am going to do that.
BUT now i need to take action. I am definitely not going to confront her. But i need to tell her that what she's doing is wholly inappropriate. Fight for her without actually fighting.
This is what i'm thinking, and i'm rather going to tell her to her face this evening, as i think it's the best medium to gauge what she is saying, besides, an email which can be construed in so many wicked ways.
Based on the communication which i saw yesterday, with you and OM2, I find it inappropriate for another man to send my W a pic of a banana and to ask her to suck it. I cannot tell you what to do, but i can tell you what I think is wrong.
WHAT DO YOU THINK? see previous thread with my contact about willingness, that was needed to set this one up.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
Based on the communication which i saw yesterday, with you and OM2, I find it inappropriate for another man to send my W a pic of a banana and to ask her to suck it. I cannot tell you what to do, but i can tell you what I think is wrong.
Personally i would have raised it there and then and in person. I would have been firm but not confrontational. Then i would probably ask her to reply to him that "my husband, finds you messaging my wife highly innappropriate"
Afterall didnt she say she wants to work in the M?
Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs 23Mar16-BD 9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss. 27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM. 14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation. 24May17-Divorced.
i dont know if im heavy handed but if something is morally and apprehensively wrong im not going to ignore it, ill make a stand.
Now how to make that stand is a different beast all together, balancing the fine act between firm or controlling, tactfully or confrontational.
Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs 23Mar16-BD 9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss. 27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM. 14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation. 24May17-Divorced.
I pick my battles, most things i let slide and just validate but serious stuff i'll speak up trying to be as tactful and firm as i can without coming off controlling. Im still learning that part though but i feel im getting better.
Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs 23Mar16-BD 9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss. 27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM. 14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation. 24May17-Divorced.
Got the new car, so happy, and so sad at the same time. Strange feeling.
I don't know how i'm going to deal with her going out tomorrow and saturday with OM2. I recall my other WW friend saying, that if she is in love, then she will not wander. I still dont see it.
Her touch is more intense though. She rubs the stubble on my chin and face, and runs her hands through my hair. I do nothing back. But for how long can I just say nothing and do nothing?
My mind is running away with me, but better here than an email to her. Worst part, is that I literally have had no work for 2 months. Have nothing else to focus on.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
I'm probably not the best one to dish out advise here. But that is completely inappropriate. She is cake eating to the max. And as for this snake sending those suggestive images- shame on him! I think you would be well within your rights to say something. It's not going to be portrayed as persuing in my eyes, as it is something morally wrong.
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
My WW friend says that "she is always going to be looking for someone she can be in love with." This shyt is sad. But it could be me.
Thx Cherry, I need to get just the right lines for her this evening to think about. I don't want to lose her, but need to deal with that inevitability.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
So, it may seem feeble, and I know what dream and darknes are going to say, but my question is... is this a boundary - "If my WW goes out on thursday and saturday with OM2, then I will file for D."
It will not be an ultimatum given to her, it is put in place to protect myself from any actions that may harm me, STDs, further emotional harm. I fully comprehend that a D will not make me better. But I cannot condone and accept this type of behaviour. That being said, she still has the ability to make the right choice, in my eyes.
I'm not going to do it, just asking if it is a valid boundary.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
