Depressed to WW

[twinmom]

We talked again last night going over how to tell the kids. Didn't go well again. She wanted to just say her thoughts off the top of her head and I think it should be written down so nothing is forgotten or said wrong. She got extremely angry saying I was trying to control the situation. I told her I was trying to work with her and trying to discuss it with her and figure out a happy medium for both of us.

Her anger scared me a bit to be honest.

I stayed as calm as I could trying to keep her in the conversation and show that I was trying to compromise and work through it together. She stayed pretty upset throughout the conversation but we seemed to finally have something ready for tomorrow

You can't control how she interacts with the kids. Honestly this paragraph DOES come across as very controlling. (I'm pointing it out because I care, NOT to be critical)
Please please take a step back and realize that the more you try and script a conversation the more it's just going to go off track. Yes, have an idea of what you want to say but some people do better with winging it and that's ok!

Again NOT trying to be critical but the day after day of your W meeting with you to discuss a script sounds more like a student bringing a teacher a term paper to grade and the teacher continously giving it back saying "not good enough yet".

I understand you are scared and don't want this 'milestone' to happen but it's going to so try to let it happen with the least amount off stress to you & the kids.

BTW, it's probably not helping your cause to be openly critical of your W right now.

Now next topic, what do you have planned for yourself this weekend?

[LiM]

I agree Scotch,

You are coming across as being control. Let her do whatever she wants. If she wants to "wing" it, then so be it. Let her. If she screws up by what she tells your kids, then that is on her and your kids will know it. You focus on you and what you do.

[Scotch]

Damn guys your right, ugh. Not smart of me. I am acting out of my fear of telling them!

Plans?l... Sat my son has a 9am game if it doesn't rain. Other than that I have a little running around to do to help the kids get things for Mother's Day. Sun, I helped the kids come up with activities to each do with her during the day so they each get special time with her. Not sure how Sunday will go down.

[Scotch]

Any last minute advice on how to act with her specifically tonight when we do this?

[LiM]

Just make sure they know you love them, that you aren't leaving them and that they have done nothing wrong. This is a problem between mom and dad has nothing to do with them.

[Scotch]

So we told them Friday after diner. I let my wife know however she felt comfortable telling them was perfectly fine. She didn't get a few words out of bed mouth and my 11 year old son started crying. Everyone one cried pretty hard. My 7 yr old daughter asked my wife if we could wait until after summer to get divorced so we could all be together for the summer. So sweet

She has t acted great since telling them leaving this afternoon to buy herself a new mattress for the footon she is sleeping on as if that's more important than being with the kids.

I spent yesterday and today with the as much as possible. Playing wiggle ball, sitting outside with them while they play and just being by them on the couch.

Worst experience I've had so far watching them cry! Working on staying strong on moving forward. She went out tonight to a bar to watch a band play. I've kept my distance and continue to act like she's a neighbor and not a wife. She asked my opinion on how to help her get the mattress. I wouldn't get her any suggestions on how to do it and that made her upset and she left stomping out mumbling. We will see how Mother's Day goes

[Stormchaser]

She asked my opinion on how to help her get the mattress. I wouldn't get her any suggestions on how to do it and that made her upset and she left stomping out mumbling.

Good Job, Scotch!!

[LiM]

Good job Scotch. Let her sit in the mess she's made. Dont help her figure any of this out. Let he be mad and blame you all she wants. You have the opportunity to spend this time working on yourself and being the best dad you can for your kids. SHINE for them. Hopefully, you WW will eventually get her head out of her a$$ and see what she has done and how she has hurt the kids. She's abandoning her kids and she will come to see that eventually.

[Scotch]

Today went well. I spent half the morning helping my kids by suggesting ways they could each do things for her. Helped my daughter make her breakfast, suggested my son take her outside to play a little wiffle ball with him etc., but I stayed away from her. In the after noon she left for a few hours taking the kids to her moms house. When she left I was on the couch just doing my own thing. She came up to me letting me know they were leaving and then reached down and gave me a hug and said thank you for making this the best Mother's Day ever. I just said your welcome, happy Mother's Day.

Now I'm outside watching my kids play and enjoying the beautiful weather while writing you folks lol. Gotta refocus, tomorrow's a new day of DB'ing.

My 11 year old is taking the news pretty hard. He has teared up quite a few times since Friday. He's a sensitive kid, always has been. Gonna look into getting him into counseling

[Scotch]

Haha I need to stop giving her credit for being a good person! So I ran to the store to grab stuff for the kids lunches. As I came home something told me to stop and pull over before the house. I walked to the back of the house and looked in where she was sitting. I had never done this before. Yep, she was texting the EA guy. That she said she stopped. I saw her scroll back and it has probably never stopped. They were talking about sexual thing he would do to her.

This is the woman who told me to never cheat on her during out marriage, and if I felt I wanted to, to divorce her first. She's such a joke! Unbelievable. Who did I marry?