Well the thing is when he's on the phone he's patronising and text he's an Arse. He hides behind these things...but face to face he can't be a dick as it were.
Face to face means he has to actually deal with reality.....me......it could mean meeting in the hotel bar down the road. I could get a friend to watch my youngest.
He actually expects me to pay half if he has to do my mediation again. Is he for real. He walked out...doesn't pay for our home yet, spends money kitting out the rooms the kids sleep in 2 nights a fortnight in his rented place.....but expects me to split the cost to mediate for something he already has....child access!!
Well I sorted out the mediation, and transferred my notes to his. Can't believe we are here. What is he doing.
Yes the last year or so in lite ' marraiage' has been awful but it's his doing. I can accept my part in maybe taking him for granted etc but all this. Can't get my head around it.
How can he be happy not seeing his kids everyday? He is mad. But I must be terrible if he'd prefer to stay with her over building back his relationship with me , even if it is just to be with his kids.
Hi Mia, well done sorting out the mediation. Any time you think - can't believe we're here etc - can't get my head around it - just go back and review your MLC reading - and you'll think, ah yes I understand.
It is important to understand our part - taking for granted etc and think about how we would want to 'be' in a R next time around - either with him or some other lucky guy.
I don't believe he's mad or that you must be terrible. Neither of those are the case if he is in MLC. Do you think we must all have been terrible too if our H's choose to stay with OW? No, we're pretty nice women who weren't perfect spouses and weren't terrible either. Do keep reading about MLC and challenge your own thoughts when they go in directions like 'I must have been terrible' - that simply isn't the case.
Hope you are enjoying the nice weather this weekend xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Hi , my youngest and I have been enjoying the lovely weather. We've washed the car, weeded the garden, built a bbq....all yesterday and I ache all over today lol.
It's just sad that our kids are having to miss out on a 'normal' family life because of h choices and behaviours. H is so stupid
How can he be happy not seeing his kids everyday? He is mad. But I must be terrible if he'd prefer to stay with her over building back his relationship with me , even if it is just to be with his kids.
Mia please don't think this way, you did nothing wrong!
Some great advice from Sotto, re-reading all the MLC stuff will help you by reminding you that even though you are responsible for your relationship too, you are not responsible for his MLC which is the main reason behind the madness.
"There's nothing sadder than a conman conning himself"
“There is freedom waiting for you, On the breezes of the sky, And you ask "What if I fall?" Oh but my darling, What if you fly?”
I've read and read. And yes he follows the pattern of behaviours described.
Is it weird that sometimes I wish ' why couldn't you have just had an affair, get found out, then beg for forgiveness'...and that would've been preferable to this.
I can not fathom how he can be 'happy' living with ow and her child...but not his own. The lengths he goes to get to see the kids ( no one stops him he just perceives that I do) must mean he is feeling the loss of not being with them
Another thing that plays on my mind....ow, does she not get sick of how much time he sees the kids or is she just playing the 'dutiful' ow to show him how wonderful she is
Mia, OW is on her best behaviour as she knows your H has left you to be with her so I'm guessing that must be in the back of her mind that might happen to her too! I know it's hard because I'm doing the same but stop focusing on her.
Mia, OW is feeling special. Your H makes OW feel good, remember the 'high' your H feels from a new relationship OW also feels. She isn't thinking that he could do the same to her right now because she has those rose colored glasses on. They are BOTH living on the 'high' of a new relationship. This high will fade, it will take a long time for some & others it fades quickly.
They are not facing LIFE... for example, my H didn't even know if OW had a car payment or not on her SUV that appears to be newer... that's how superficial their relationship was, they never discussed any real life bills/responsibilities.
Me: 35 husband:39 Sons 16 and 11 from my first marriage Twins 5 (boy/girl) Daughter 3 Affair bomb 2/27/14 He moved in with ow 3/13/14 OW kicked him out 6/15/14 4/2016 he seeks help for sexual addiction
