Well dream, we need two cars, but we're married in community of property. She has just changed bank branches to somewhere further. And I need a car for routine commute. I am a shoo in for a job where I will have no choice but to have a car.
She did say that she is willing to take public transport to work, which is 25km away. Should I just say fine, take transport? One car is also not good for me to Gal, if she's already out.
She's afraid of the extra debt when splitting debt and assets for the D.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
From everything that's been said up to this point, it appears that you are on track for a divorce. If she doesn't need a car, then there's no need for you to purchase a new one. However, if she intends to use the current car for the future, you will need something. That said, I don't think it's in your best interest to jointly purchase a car at this time. Is there any way you can purchase a car without her help? You certainly can't force her to co-sign for this.
Yeah, it appears that i'm headed for a D. I'm not even blinking as i type that - is that a good thing?
But i'm not going to do anything regarding helping her out. She wants it then she needs to file and everything. or should i help her?
I told her to make up her mind by tomorrow about the car issue. She can't conceivably take public transport as it will take her an hour and a half instead of 25 mins to work. But her stubbornness runs very deep. I will apply without her help, actually. I'll make the decision for her. She can keep the current car and i'll finance the other one myself.
Had a heated debate now with her. She raised her voice and I was calm. she was crying that she does not even have a mother to talk to about her problems. I was thinking, maybe you should try God, but we know where that goes sometimes. It was an excellent opportunity to detach and it went well. I never pushed her further away and i let her tears be her own. I need to try and not be so cold, but i guess i'll get better in time.
oh, and apparently I pushed her onto another man - and then she didn't wanna get up.
Just got a text - "I need time out, going to BFF's brother now, please look after son and call me if he needs me." Initial split second was anger, then i let the anger go. Now i let her go.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
Just to throw this out there,the other day my h told ow every time he prays he feels god gives him the answer to walk. They will try anything to validate their wild ways. And the "you pushed me" well that's just another excuse. Spew spew spew. Well done on staying calm.
Focus on your son, protect him. He needs a level headed parent. She is so up and down she can't be that. Stay steady
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
I'm steady cherry. Not even going to tell him that his wayward mother may not be home anytime soon. It is my turn to put our S to sleep anyhows.
I was about to leave with him before she did, guess she softened me just about right. Tomorrow night i'm going out. Dropping our S after creche and leaving her by herself.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
I'm headed toward D and my emotions are all over the map. Now I understand what the vets have said; don't let emotions be your guide. Stay with the process.
So, I agree with Cherry, focus on your son and focus on being a better man. Try to remove yourself from the drama. (As usual, I'm saying that for myself as well.)
Here's my advice: Stop DOING so much. Stop TALKING so much.
Your emotions are high. W's emotions are high.
Just take a few steps back and try to exist for a time. I can understand that this limbo isnt great or comfortable. But for now, neither of you has any answers. Turn your focus away from W. Away from M. Away from D.
Build yourself. Build your relationship with your son.
Stop making these large gestures and purchases and just live for a bit.
I don't think its emotions, maybe its apathy. I am calm and she's out and i'm not concerned. I try to not talk, that just comes out. But i am not doing. I never replied to her text.
I need to plan because i cannot wait for her, and i need the second car, whether we're going thru a D or not.
I'm hitting my objectives. I never initiated the argument. I left the room and she followed me. I went to pick our S up and she made plans to go out.
I can let her go, but I think i get sucked in, trying to validate and it comes out all wrong.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
DDJ, I wanted to stop bye and thank you again for chatting last night... I really needed someone to listen.. Anyway, not many tears yet, a few but I'm sure they'll come tonight when I actually may get some sleep...
I've now read the first 8 or so pages and the last4 of your sitch... Wow, you've come a long ways, I long to be in the place you are now, in control of yourself and deciding what you really want. It's hard to see that place from the starting line, but for now, I'm gonna go GAL..
M - 9 1/2 years 5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA 10/31/16 - We sold house 01/10/18 - D Finalized
