you're on it. good ... that is all i ask ... and want for you: good health and much happiness.
h tested at 16.9 one month prior to bd. his dr never thought it would be a good idea to adjust his meds and re-test. after much research and nagging on my part, he agreed to see my doc, who is an integrative guy. alas, they were not able to schedule something until late august. so between early march and late august, h went from 16.9 to 28.
yup.
28.
dr. gave h armour... in addition to other stuff, I guess. I was cut out of the loop at that point, but h did start to feel better immediately and was complaining about jet lag in early october, which i took as a sign that things were getting better.
my doc says anything over 4 is cause for concern. labs will tell you something else. you are right to be on it at 5 ... what dr said to me was that he advises no major life changing decisions over 4 ... so there you have it. take your time, focus on your health. once that is under control everything else will fall into place. {{{hugs}}}
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
28 !! Oh My, I think I would also be in a fog at 28. I do hope that your h manages to get on top of it, it certainly wont be helping him being that high.
Until I know for sure I will not be making any big decisions I promise, I really need to try and focus myself on not doing anything daft while I feel this way - agh.
Hi everyone, I stepped away from the board for a while, I felt that I was living and breathing MLC and being here everyday was in affect picking at the scab daily.
Not much of interest has happened since I last posted.
I got a promotion - well more like a title as recognition for the job I am already doing. So I am now Team Leader of my department which comes with a small pay rise. I still dont intend staying in the job, but the new title looks good on my cv - especially as I have gone from being the cleaner to running a department in under a year !!The extra money I am putting straight into a savings account so I dont get used to it.
I have started IC, I got 6 subsidized sessions through the local Women's Centre with another 6 offered after that if needed. I am on week 4. I cant say I have got much out of it, but it is good to be able to ramble on to someone that is removed from my world and tell me if I my thinking is completely nutso.
What has come out of it is that I feel that I want to be more, I feel I am more and deserve it. Through choices, some my own, some h, I have ended up in this situation and only I can change it. So I have enrolled at an Open Polytechnic, I start a tertiary study skills course in July which will give me the necessary qualification to take on a diploma/degree as I have been out of education for 30yrs !! ouch saying that !! It is a fee free course so I have no excuse not to try and hopefully by the end of it (Jan 2017) I will know what course I want to go on to study - its part time learning as I need to continue working full time.
Socially I try to do something most weekends, even if its just a quick coffee with a g/friend. I have had a couple of situations with unsavory men that I managed to retreat from, why is that guys see a middle aged single women and think you must be desperate - seriously!Life experiences ha ha.
S19 moved to his dads, back to me, back to dads and now is back with me again - wears me out just writing it! He has an appointment with college mid May so fingers crossed he gets back in and can carry on with his course. S22 is moving out of his dads in June to be with his g/friend who has a new job. He is happy and looking forward to new adventures.
Healthwise - nothing changed, I have been confirmed as Hypothyroid, not on meds (my choice) but will go on them if my blood count goes up or my symptoms get worse. The arthritis is steady, I only need the painkiller after a couple of shifts each week - another reason to find another job.
As for H - well long story. He backed out of meeting me in April, said he wasn't ready, he knows that spending time with each other draws us closer so wants to make sure that he has dealt with everything in his head. I just said OK, I understand. I don't but hey, right now this is his party and I have to wait for the invite.
ex ow made a brief (although not in a romantic or sexual way) appearance, she did her crazy thing and me another favour, making me look more sane and normal in h's eyes. One of her antics was to create a fantasy f/book relationship for them, photos and all (he left her 7 months ago!), h was upset and I think a bit shocked, he stopped being blind and has finally shut the door on that chapter of his life, not forgotten and nor should it be, it happened, it changed him and he learnt from it. I behaved myself all the way through, allowed him to deal with it and removed myself as he had her in his life; he crossed the boundary - he sorted it out quickly and kept me informed throughout the whole situation.
Contact after that became a bit more regular, he started finding excuses to say hi and then this weekend he text me asking me out for a weekend date Flights are booked and he is booking a hotel this week. We are meeting on weekend 14th/15th May. Its the first time since he wanted "us" that he has suggested us meeting so in a way its a big deal as I have initiated the other occasions.
So we shall see where this meeting leads me. I know either way I will be ok, I now have dreams and goals of my own to focus on - getting through this course is the first !
So that's all from me. I have a lot of sitches to catch up on, been out of the loop a bit too long.
Lou, Sometimes we have to step away from the forum in order to help us clear our minds of the mlc drama and figure out how to move forward.
Congratulations on the promotion, even if it is a job title change and a small increase in your pay...it's still a promotion that you busted your behind for. Yes, it will look good or any resume that you send off for jobs.
I'm glad you started IC and I'm sorry you've not gotten much out of it, but at least you have a safe place to talk in the real world and not in cyberworld.
You've been a busy lady...taking up studying this summer is a very good way to take your mind off your h, as well as improve your skills and who knows...you just might become a professor down the road, if this the path that you wish to take.
I'm glad you have come to realize that you are the prize and yes, darn it, you do deserve more in life and yes, you are the only one that can change your current situation. You have the control over what you do in life, we have choices and it appears that you are making some good choices and I hope that you will not allow your h to change your course direction when it comes to education and future positions.
I wasn't surprised to read that he didn't follow thru on the April visit. We'll see how he does in two weeks time. He's quite sane enough to make choices and whether or not he comes, that is a choice that he's made. I do hope that he does come and you can have a nice time visiting w/him. As for sons...wow! they sure to bounce around from one parent to the other. I hope they finally settle down in one place for a bit. LOL!
I'm sorry that your health hasn't improved a lot. I had hoped there would have been some improvements. I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers and hopefully you'll locate a position that will help take some of the stress off of your mind, soul and body to allow your body to heal.
Lou, you've been missed. Please don't be a stranger and come back to post an update when you have the time and feel like it. We are always here for you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Hi Lou! You have been missed. It's so good to hear from you.
My goodness, you sure do have tremendous patience. It's quite astounding the amount of time MLC takes but as Job says, at the stage you are at now, the slower the better. It takes the MLCer so very long to put himself back together.
Kudos to you for all that you are accomplishing!
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
Hi Lou, good to hear from you. I was just thinking of you the other day and here you are posting! You sound good and I'm pleased to read that - very much moving forward in terms of your job and studies....excited for you on that front!
Wow - OW sounds like a piece of work. Good for you being the sane one in all of that - and fair enough on your H's part, sorting things out and keeping you updated.
It sounds like you guys continue to make slow progress. And I always think slow is best with MLC. From what I read, if people try to romp through it, it always comes back and bites you on the bum!
Keep being awesome anyway - and it's great that you keep in touch with the forum - even if you just drop in from time to time xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
They're not a drug, they're the same as the hormones your body makes. And starting them doesn't necessarily mean you have to take them forever; if your thyroid improves you can always go off of them. But you'll have no idea how great you could feel until you try them.
Your arthritis could be caused by low thyroid. Low thyroid also increases your risk of heart disease and osteoporosis, as well as causes fatigue, depression, low energy, weight gain ..... Lots of things you don't want.
Try taking the thyroid hormone, it can be seriously life altering.
Good to hear from you Lou! I've missed you and wondered how you are. Congratulations on the promotion - the acknowledgement of your efforts must feel pretty good! I'm proud of you for signing up for school.
I continue to be in awe of your level of detachment and patience. Not sure I could or can do the same. You are a real power of example to me.
Now, what KML said about hypothyroid is absolutely correct. Please consider her words. I would like for you to feel amazing physically as well as emotionally and spiritually. Much love to you! xo
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
Flights are booked and he is booking a hotel this week. We are meeting on weekend 14th/15th May. Its the first time since he wanted "us" that he has suggested us meeting so in a way its a big deal as I have initiated the other occasions.