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What a rubbish post!

Should have read:

Agreed unfriend W on FB. Unfollowing is half measures.

Stop mind reading like Mu did, W has her choices.

Still looping Ghost is back again.

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Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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Originally Posted By: ATPeace
So can someone help me with this one

I am still friends with my W in facebook I am guessing the right things would be to unfriend her so I do not see the posts of her getting by and posting thugs that indirectly hurt my feelings

Ghost


Ghost, I am pretty sure I have given this advice a few times already. Personally, I would block her (I blocked mine). This ensures I will see very little about her. Second best is to unfriend. At the very least unfollow.

There is the advice, but you have heard this before. If you would have listened before than your feelings would not have been indirectly hurt this time. Act on it to save yourself some grief in the future.

pinn #2669532 04/17/16 10:38 AM
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Originally Posted By: pinn
Hey Ghost,

I missed the FB comment. I think I told you before, but you have to unfollow her at the very least. Why put yourself through that? I blocked my WW as soon as she took 'married' down from there. I have zero regrets about doing that. Then I had to unfollow some mutual friends just so that I didn't see pictures of her or anything.


this is from one of your threads in Feb Ghost..

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ATPeace Offline OP
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I must have such a poor memory or I have blocked out some of the replies when I have been feeling dark ...

At least this morning I am not spinning this is a good thing.

Have to remember how I feel,right now

I have unfollowed her I try to detach gal ....we talk and we txt to each other when she is working the nights but if I mention anything to do with relationships even loosely she will just ignore that comment and carry on talking as tho I had not said anything

So goals
Keep up with the personal trainer 3 sessions a week I am feeling so much better in myself
Stop msging W unnecessarily
Book in to a meet up
Spend qulity time with each of my children

Put more focus on me and control who you can control


Me:48 W 41
M:18 T:26
2 D 18 & 4
2 S 17 & 13
Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation
D filed 06/17
Separate houses 10/17
D Final 29/12//17.
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I've removed my wedding ring, I'm not even on FB anymore, i never contact her, unless she needs to do something. I've also got no appetite so that helps with weight loss.

She needs to miss me. I do not miss her, i cannot miss this person that was my W.


Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
DDJ #2669813 04/18/16 12:39 PM
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What you do isn't as important ad how you do it. If you need to unfriend W then do it, if you need to unfriend or even block her then do it.

If you find yourself still looking at her profile even after you unfollow her, then unfriend her. If you find your self still looking at her profile through mutual friends after unfriending then block her. I did all of the above and I nearly started to unblock her to see posts. I would have then asked her to block me but I got my [censored] under control. I even had to unfollow a mutual friend because her posts still would squeeze a pic of W though.

Ghost, your W and M are likely over but don't you dare give up on you and life. I've seen what you're capable of and things will work out more than fine for you no matter what happens between you and her. So what if you don't see your kids every single day, you will manage and the days you do have them will be amazing. You can't control every part of your life but you can make the most of what's given to you. I haven't seen mine since Thursday and you know what? I had a [censored] amazing weekend meeting friends across the country and when I see kids tonight I'll have an amazing time with them today and this week. Sure I normally have them 4-5 days a week but I took some time for me. Id you get 3 days a week with thdm then you make it 3 days of gold. Dont cry you cant get 7 and then end up giving them 7 superficial glitter days. I know damn straight your capable of gold. Quality over quantity. Life is what you make of it. You can appreciate what you have or sulk and ruin what you do have thinking about what you want to have.


Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
Fogg #2670411 04/20/16 04:05 PM
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Fogg

I recollect your struggles on this.

This is very wise counsel indeed from someone honed by experience.

Heed it well G.

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Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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ATPeace Offline OP
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Fogg thank you for your post I do read and try to comprehend

Well the good news is I have been spinning a little less recently and I guess I am starting to accept things for what they are

My W has told me in the past I have been controlling and right now this is how she still feels the fact that I am asking to stay in the same house as her and saying that I want to be able to see the kids everyday is abusive I am using the children in a controlling manor well perhaps I might be I just want to see my children and right now they are what is important

I have been getting in so much better with my daughter this is w good thing it is fantastic and I am feeling much happier

Things at home are stable she still has not made any move to sell the house and I refuse to do this it is not something I want

So question

W does not want relationship conversations
W still talks about when we are in sepeerate houses
This morning we went to breakfast together then home and watched TV for an HR or so she asks my advice in logos for her,webpage and,I have offered her help with her webpage ....is she cake eating or,if I do not offer help is that just me being unfriendly ?

Now my question is I am not detaching from her because of the interactions that we are having however are they not a positive step to a relationship ..right now it is a friendly friends I obviously want more but,am resigned to whatever happens I cannot control this is something that I am finally getting

I am feeling better calmer

Ghost


Me:48 W 41
M:18 T:26
2 D 18 & 4
2 S 17 & 13
Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation
D filed 06/17
Separate houses 10/17
D Final 29/12//17.
Joined: Jun 2015
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ATPeace Offline OP
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So another week goes by and things are no better ...I would say things are no worse...I am starting to wonder just how long I can do this,for.

I watch my W becoming more and more distant and feel there is nothing I can do to stop this from running its course.and then I realise that I can control,this via my actions .

I have no access to her phone or her ipad I am feeling lost and jealous of who she may be talking to.

So how do I detach and move on ...i work days she works nights our paths rarley cross




I


Me:48 W 41
M:18 T:26
2 D 18 & 4
2 S 17 & 13
Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation
D filed 06/17
Separate houses 10/17
D Final 29/12//17.
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 2,045
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Originally Posted By: ATPeace
I am starting to wonder just how long I can do this,for.


What is your alternative?

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