Well wife just dropped the kids off , she didn't come in, but I could sense she was a little surprised on how well I'm doing. She just had that look.
Yep! That's the beginning of getting her attention. Next, she'll get curious about what you are doing. The more interesting and/or mysterious, the more she will be drawn toward you.
Be prepared for her to temp check you pretty soon.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Wow. Interesting you bring that up. My 7 year old and I were talking today, I don't remember what instigated his comment, but he said that mommy asked him if I had a baby sitter or special friend at the house. Really???? I almost busted out laughing. I may go even darker. I'm trying to prepare myself for the temp check when it comes.
Me-LBH, 44 Spouse-WAW, 41 Married for 9 years S, 7 S, 5 BD - November 20th 2015
See? I'm telling you, if she thought there was a chance she might be replace.............
I believe she needs to see that you just aren't as interested in what she does or how she feels about the MR, as you may have been when she first dumped you.
Be careful what you say in front of S7 b/c she is going to throughly pick him for information. In fact, if you have been talking to him about his mother, maybe you should put your focus elsewhere. When she asks him what does daddy say about her, he'll shrug and say you don't really talk about her.
When I tell men this, they immediately think the W will give up and believe he doesn't love her anymore, and his nature to pursue kicks up. But I'm telling you that this way will give you a much greater chance at grabbing her interest in you.........and if you play your cards right........you could bust this D! But you have to hold out and make her work to get you back. Don't take her back too quickly or easily. It is a process she has to go through.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Yes, I'm going to play this cool. I was thinking about what I say about His mother in front of him. I also don't want him saying anything to her and it not have any context. I have asked him a couple times how min is doing. So I stop that immediately. Thanks
Me-LBH, 44 Spouse-WAW, 41 Married for 9 years S, 7 S, 5 BD - November 20th 2015
See? I'm telling you, if she thought there was a chance she might be replace.............
I believe she needs to see that you just aren't as interested in what she does or how she feels about the MR, as you may have been when she first dumped you.
Be careful what you say in front of S7 b/c she is going to throughly pick him for information. In fact, if you have been talking to him about his mother, maybe you should put your focus elsewhere. When she asks him what does daddy say about her, he'll shrug and say you don't really talk about her.
When I tell men this, they immediately think the W will give up and believe he doesn't love her anymore, and his nature to pursue kicks up. But I'm telling you that this way will give you a much greater chance at grabbing her interest in you.........and if you play your cards right........you could bust this D! But you have to hold out and make her work to get you back. Don't take her back too quickly or easily. It is a process she has to go through.
Sorry to bump into your thread Job, but I also have some difficulty with S7's questions. Sandi, do you feel that W's pump the kids for information, I don't ask them anything about her or what she does, says etc but S regularly asks me if I want us all to be back together. If I am happy with the kids being bounced around 2 different places.
I did show a friend that I was talking with a 28 year old and showed him a picture, and that I have met some good looking ladies at the gym. I just told him that they are more pleasant to talk to than W. Him and his wife have contact with my W more than I have with them.
See? I'm telling you, if she thought there was a chance she might be replace.............
I believe she needs to see that you just aren't as interested in what she does or how she feels about the MR, as you may have been when she first dumped you.
Be careful what you say in front of S7 b/c she is going to throughly pick him for information. In fact, if you have been talking to him about his mother, maybe you should put your focus elsewhere. When she asks him what does daddy say about her, he'll shrug and say you don't really talk about her.
When I tell men this, they immediately think the W will give up and believe he doesn't love her anymore, and his nature to pursue kicks up. But I'm telling you that this way will give you a much greater chance at grabbing her interest in you.........and if you play your cards right........you could bust this D! But you have to hold out and make her work to get you back. Don't take her back too quickly or easily. It is a process she has to go through.
Sorry to bump into your thread Job, but I also have some difficulty with S7's questions. Sandi, do you feel that W's pump the kids for information, I don't ask them anything about her or what she does, says etc but S regularly asks me if I want us all to be back together. If I am happy with the kids being bounced around 2 different places.
I did show a friend that I was talking with a 28 year old and showed him a picture, and that I have met some good looking ladies at the gym. I just told him that they are more pleasant to talk to than W. Him and his wife have contact with my W more than I have with them.
I think it goes back to the mysterious idea. Make her wonder why you don't seem interested anymore.
Day 17 no contact
Well the wife emailed me twice this morning. once was a calendar invite for the kids Wellness checks On Sept 27. Seems a little bit out there of a date to be sending this too me now, but never the less I just accepted it and nothing else.
Then she emailed me to let me know she signed up the boys for after school next fall. didn't feel a response back was necessary. I'm starting to realize for the first time that my wife is very controlling. I guess i never picked up on this because she's very passive aggressive.
Oh well, time to get to the gym and then I have a IC appointment.
Me-LBH, 44 Spouse-WAW, 41 Married for 9 years S, 7 S, 5 BD - November 20th 2015
Went to gym this morning and now am at work. It's funny how the thoughts creep back in when going No Contact. " What if she thinks I'm being a jerk, What if she thinks I don't care, Etc......." , but then I remember what she said. " I wish you would leave me alone, so I can be happy!!" and this is what I'm doing, exactly what she asked for, leaving her alone. This is definately going to be a "fake it til you make it day".
Me-LBH, 44 Spouse-WAW, 41 Married for 9 years S, 7 S, 5 BD - November 20th 2015
Does anyone care to share examples of realistic goals they set during physical separation? I'm having a problem with the fact that i keep basing my goals off something my controls, or is out of my control.
Me-LBH, 44 Spouse-WAW, 41 Married for 9 years S, 7 S, 5 BD - November 20th 2015
