Hi Tyler12. I'm a bit late but happy belated birthday. Good job ignoring WW complaints about kids wanting to live with you and kids getting sick immediately after returning from you. Those are no win arguments that can easily get out of hand. Nice job.
I hear you about wanting to keep the peace with WW and constantly trying to defend your actions. I still often feel that way and want to defend my actions. Another no win sitch. I figured out that my feelings like that originated as a response to my Dad. At one point I wanted to be a lawyer because I always felt I was defending myself against all sorts of stuff. Throughout my M and throughout this separation process I had been doing the same with my WW. WW wasn't actually attacking me when times were good so it just frustrated her. I just needed to be a man and let my actions speak for themselves. Throughout the S process, she expected it and it just led to her digging deeper into her position regardless of whether it was logical or nonsensical. I still have to be conscientious about not defending myself but it can be done. I know you can do it as well. It will help you become a man only a fool would leave and I suspect the ladies dig it and respect you for not worrying about having to defend yourself.
Hope you enjoyed your day off and retail therapy.
Me:44 W:38 T:10.5 M:7.5 D:3 BD: 7/2015 W moves out of MBR: 9/2015 WW files for D: 2/8/2016
So I realized the other day I busy every night of the week now except Thursday's and weekends. Weekends are fine as I either have my kids or I can chose to do whatever I like. Thursday's I have designated cleaning/ getting life stuff together night. So I am happy that I have something to do every night.
Ww has been civil lately. I respond when I feel like it and try not to worry too much about what she thinks. She had some questions about S3 playing soccer here and then "accidentally" called but then decided it's easier to talk than text.
We talked about activities for S3 and that I would check out what all is available while where she is has no U4 stuff for him.
She mentioned them going camping this weekend and meeting Sunday or Monday. It felt good to say Monday works fine for me. Hope the boys have fun camping I will call S3 later. And I ended it there.
She may have been temp checking by being so talkative or by calling. That's fine for her. My life is busy and I am happy.
There is times I miss the companionship from W, I find myself asking if she is what I want in my life though. I have been severely hurt by her twice now and I personally think that I am an idiot for considering wanting her back.
Like I said. I am lonely sometimes, those times are fleeting I find things to do instead. Summer is coming and I will be able to get out more. In the yard and into my garden and flower beds. Ball season is starting soon, camping season. Patio season!
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
It's been awhile since I posted anything on here. Mostly because there is really nothing to report. I have been living my life that's all.
I did realize that if I am left alone with nothing to do I get Ansy to go do something. Anything. As much as I have been getting along fine GaL and moving forward I find it hard to be totally alone and just sit with my thoughts.
Maybe that's something I have to start doing so I can truly understand where I am at. Most days I am quite happy with my life, I accept that M is over and to be honest I don't see any R in the future, it hurts a bit still however I am becoming more ok with it.
I have asked myself a lot lately that even if W were to try and talk to me about R that I may just tell her I am done. That I too needed to find my happiness and honestly i am. Without her, I don't want to give that up for her either.
My therapist asked me if I wanted to keep coming back last time I saw her. Said to call and make an appointment if I wanted. I have come a long way since the first time I walked into her office. It's not that I feel done, just done with her. The last session was very frustrating for me and left me with a bad taste in my mouth.
So I guess that's where I am. I have my boys this week so I have a lot to keep me busy. Hope everyone had a good weekend.
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
Again. Long time since I posted anything. I have been busy with my kids over Easter and just doing what I have been doing.
There is no real change on M front and I don't foresee there being any.
I did notice ExW is more chatty and friendly now but I'm going to stay away from that completely.
W did throw me for a loop the other day when we met to exchange the boys. I had my older 2 kids as well and she hasn't seen her step kids in over a month. And this day she talked to them more than she has in 2 months. Gave them hugs. After I started driving she asked me how they are doing and how they are coping. I took some time and thought it through. It really messed me up.
Her not asking about older 2 has been a major issue I have had with this. Then she asks how they are coping? I was tempted to say since when do you care? However I said good. School is better S is excited to start a new sport and D loves dance still.
She replied something about knowing D would love dance. And I never responded except to say we got home safe.
I went through a few days of missing W. Like there had been some unsaid dynamic change. And it was weird because I have been good for over a month, then this creeps back one day. The meet was is the middle of it. So that didn't trigger it.
When we met we did chat a little. She complained about work like she always does if she chat. I smile and validate. Nothing else to do really.
So that is me right now. Hope all is well with everyone else. I'm going to try to get into the habit of reading g here and posting more.
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
Keep posting, Ty. Even as you move forward and get stronger, I'm sure many here can offer good suggestions to make the days and nights easier.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
I really have nothing much to post. It's been awhile and I am just living my life. I have my youngest 2 every other week. So I see W every week. And the exchanges are fine. There is no pursuing by me as I don't see any reason to. If she were to ever want to R she has to win my heart is how I see it. Will she ever try? I don't care. I have honestly become pretty indifferent to anything she does. Which for the most part I don't hear it know about. When we meet to exchange the boys the last couple times she has seemingly made an effort to chit chat. It's all about her life and whatever else is going on, I listen and get out of there ASAP. As I know OM is still around.
The meetings are quickly becoming similar to that of meeting my first W. Where it's quick greetings and I forget what was even said before I leave. The last meeting where W asked about the older 2 kids doesn't weigh in my mind anymore. It was a one off because she saw them for the first time in months.
As for myself I need to get back out of my comfort zone and get back into my GaL activities. I still do some. It just feels like I have no energy to do them all anymore. Lol. Or time. It's getting so nice out I don't find myself needing to find things to occupy myself anymore. I'm content to sit alone. Or work outside.
The main thing is I know I will be alright. I am going to rock being a dad. I am going to rock loving myself. I have my kids, family, friends and my health. What more do I need?
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
I do have a question that I have been mulling over and it's a tough call for me to make.
Last weekend that I had all 4 of my kids we skyped with MiL. She asked to skype to talk to the kids which is fine. She still posts stuff in FB about the older 2 still being her grandkids. Which is fine. Doesn't bother me.
What I have been thinking about is she asked if I would come out with the all the kids to spend a week or so with them this summer. Now. It's a big trip. 2 days of driving. With 4 kids.
So. On one hand it would be a blast for myself and for the kids. They kids love the in laws. It would be good for the kids and for a get away for myself.
On the down side it feels weird to me to go see them. And anti progressive for myself and moving on. At what point does your personal wants/ DB outweigh probably what is best for the kids? It would be great for the kids and me. Not great for letting W and that life go
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
those people will be a part of your life forever. i say go. I still do things with my w family, as a matter of fact her father and i are sort of in business together on something
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
