I know. I told him he was being baited. He told me he told her just because he called didn't mean he wasn't working on our M. He said to me "contrary to what you believe we are friends..."
Friends would be transparent. Last night was quiet. I can't trust that he isn't talking to her. I am not going to bring it up but I wish he would stop. H does have her blocked from his phone. The nerve to leave him a vm at work. I have never done that and really only call his work number if there is an emergency.
I am going to stay quiet. He made a choice to stay home and work on us and I guess right now I have to believe that is what he wants to do. Advice?!?!
For now, go about your business as usual. If he brings up the ow, then you can say something...but if he doesn't...remain quiet. To work on the marriage, there has to be the two of you and certainly not a third party, so toss her out of your head right now and focus on today and what you can control in your life.
Be his friend, a good listener and sit quietly...the answers will come. Oh...and remember to breathe!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Last night was quiet. No OW talk...stuck to general conversation. H did make a comment that he might make himself a drink and I told him the drinking was getting to be too much. I told him he turns mean.
H then said if I didn't provoke him it wouldn't happen. I said his actions provoked me. H had no response. This was not an argument. H didn't have a drink.
Another bit of info I heard him say last night was about increasing our tax with holdings because when S20 graduates from college we are going to owe. H said "we will owe until D14 goes to college"...to me that is future talk. I just acknowledged that I agreed and we would figure out how much I need to take out of my paycheck.
Oh..H didn't get home from work until 6 and walked into the kitchen and said "oh you didn't have to wait for me to eat dinner" H seemed pleasantly surprised...again just another thing I noticed. I didn't say anything we all sat down and ate as a family.
After that D10 wanted H to make meatballs because she only likes his so he made those for dinner tonight and then went to the gym. He gave me a kiss goodnight but no I love you's since Sundays fight.
Another quiet night. No OW talk. I have no idea if he is talking to her from work or not. I guess I won't know unless I ask and even then if he says no, I am not sure I believe him anyway.
Continue as you have been. You can't control what he does and can only believe 50% of what he says. Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves to you in due time.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
H decided to play golf last night with guys from work. He did call me to ask me if we had plans before he committed so that is positive. I was upset he chose to play because he says he wants to work on things but yet isn't home to do so. I didn't act mad at all. We are supposed to go out tonight and I am hoping he doesn't call and say he is going out with guys from work first. If he does, I may pass on our date. I don't want to feel like I am second.
One of the things that I have noticed w/the MLCer is that they say that they want to work on the relationship/marriage, but in reality, they don't. My xh said the same thing and even went as far as telling his co-workers that we were working on the marriage and yet, he was doing his own thing and not focusing on what needed to be worked on. So, take what he says w/a grain of salt and don't expect him to actually be working on marriage in the same way that you are and would expect a normal person to do.
Continue as you have been and keep the focus on you. If he truly wants to work on the marriage and do it the proper way, you'll know when he's serious about it. Until then...keep your expectations at zero.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Dig deeper for patience and keep expectations to zero for now.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Hi! Well...the weekend was quiet. H did call OW to say hi and then she called him back and realized she was blocked from his phone. She then called from her home phone. This started an argument because H told her never to call him again.
I said to H.."You called her first...you lead her on. Had you not called her she wouldn't call you..." STUPID! Well, now two numbers are blocked and he has removed her from facebook.
Anyway..I told him I was no longer willing to do this when I have asked him numerous times to end contact. I told him the NC needs to happen, he needs to make a counseling appt for himself and we need marriage counseling. If this doesn't take place we will not stay married.
Well...he has IC appt today and I am waiting for a call back for marriage counseling appt. H told me he has never seen me like this before (even 10 yrs ago) and he is nervous that I am going to end the marriage. I asked him how he thinks I felt over the past few months. H said I must have felt the same way. Only difference is H is the cause of this...I have done nothing but be supportive.
Anyway...yesterday I received two anonymous emails from OW (obviously...) both came to my work email...easy enough to find it I guess. H was mad and I was ballistic. I told H NOT to call her...this is what she wants. I also told H that I don't blame him for her sending me the emails, but I do blame him for bringing this ridiculous drama into my life.
If I receive another email, I think I will report it to the police. Granted, they won't be able to prove a thing. I never knew websites existed that could send anonymous emails. I guess I am not a psycho.
H was wearing wedding ring when he left for work this morning. We also have mexican vacation planned in Aug and I told him right now I don't want to go. H begged me not to cancel. I told him I wouldn't cancel it yet but if I feel the same way I do now come the summer, it may be an option.
Luckily, I am a positive person and have hopes that this will work out.
