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Tyler12 Offline OP
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Quick layout of my sitch

Was with W for 5 years. Married for 1 1/2. We have 2 children together and she was an amazing mother to the 2 children from my previous marriage.

She came to me late October and said she was unhappy. She was leaving and I did excessive pursuing trying to make everything right. It didn't help.

A few weeks later I found evidence from snooping that she was having a EA at least and I still have no evidence of PA not that I want any.

She has been moved out of the house for almost 2 months and there is no foreseeable chance of R.

Today I contacted my lawyer about proceeding with D. And as of right now I see no reason not to get it started.


The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
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Just sending you some strength Tyler. 1.5 years is a short time, that's rough.

My lasted about 2.5 years. When I told my buddy he laughed and said, "Damn that's like working for years to get a girl to finally come to dinner with you, then she gets up and leaves after eating a roll and sipping some water."

I can laugh about it now, and at some point you'll be able to look back on this with a fresh set of eyes. You're in the middle of a chit storm right now, especially with little ones in the mix. It's insane to me that a parent could walk out on kids that young, I'm still heartbroken over not getting to see my nieces on her side of the family let alone children.

I've been following your sitch for a bit and you're doing what needs to be done. Protect yourself, keep your chin as high as you can, and keep forging ahead.

Man hug,

PP


M 39 W 36
T5 M3
BD - 1/15 Separated - Same Day
Served 9/15
D finalized 6/17
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So sorry you are in this situation Tyler,

I am new here and wish I was as wise as some of the members that post here and could tell you the best way to do things but I'm not. All I can say is i am in a very similar situation (I'm 30 and my wife 25 just walked out).
I have taken away a lot from reading others posts and has helped me take a totally different approach than I would have if I didn't come here.

It is a very tough time for you but it sounds like you a getting further along the road of moving on if the thoughts of getting D started are in your current thinking.

I hope you start to feel better soon. I know it's life changing and I'm definitely not the same person I was 2 months ago.
Stay strong Tyler


ME- 31 W-25
T-5 M-3
D2
ILYBNILWY and moved out - FEB16
W seeing someone else - JUL16
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Thank you PP and I'm sorry your here albac. Don't get discouraged by my sitch. Not all things work out, it doesn't mean yours won't.

I want to add a couple things W mentioned in our talk.
1 she knew where I went on my weekend away. I never told her so she asked someone or a family member told her. Not sure.

2. She said she has been watching my finances. Not sure how as she doesn't have access to my account. Not legally anyway. Find it funny she was bothering to monitor me. And it just pisses me off more.


The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
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Seems like she's keeping tabs on you. The question is why. The answer requires mindreading which we can't do!


M:26 H:32 T:8yrs
ILYBNILWY/ "I'm not happy": 2/6/16
D-Day-discovered PA/EA: 2/10/16
Separated: 2/14/16 He's living with OW
I moved to different state: 06/16
Currently: Trying to move forward
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So the knee jerk anger has subsided. I don't know if I am going to file or not. I am however going to meet with my L Tuesday to discuss things.

It's also funny when WW forgets to block some of my family on fb. And after giving me [censored] for going away. I find out she went on a trip with OM. I'm taking a 6 he flight for the weekend get away. I'm not angry or hurt by it. I find the hypocriti funny


The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
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I want to add a caution to the previous post about W on trip. I never planned on calling her out on it. I did want the proper info so I knew the truth and could address I if ever the time arose.

I contacted family member and they sent a screen shot of the post. It was about a ball game line up for spring training and it could be construed as her being in that city. However there is no check in on or around that city. Or any tagging of OM. It essentially is a shared post from the team saying hurray ball season pretty much. So my conclusion is no she didn't go. Also it was the middle d the week while she had the boys. So it is very very unlikely.

If you ever hear anything please don't jump to conclusions and make sure facts are there to support the accusation.

Anyway. I'm done for awhile.


The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
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Haven't posted in a few days. I want to tell everyone I am doing great! After the anger of talking to W the other day passed I have been at peace with this all.

The argument now that I look at it was my fault because I let it happen and got sucked in. I have had civil conversations with W since. And today I feel like nothing can bring me down.

Not even spew from WW.

Have I dropped the rope? No I don't think so, closer than I have ever been.

A small part of me still holds out hope, and I am not sure why. I really feel like R was toxic. Sure we had good times, the boys we made together are the best thing to come from R. I always felt restrained in my opinions and belittled by my life choices in the past when I was with W.

I fully accept all my faults and decisions in my past. I can't change them now, and they weren't mistakes they were what I thought was the best thing to do at the time. Hind sight is always 20/20.

I refuse to be put through a life style like the one I was living with WW. I deserve better than that and so do my children. I have questioned myself all day why I have bothered to hang on this long, in my sitch hoping to R comes from a place o insecurity and low self worth. Like she was the greatest thing ever and I will never be that happy again. Well. I wasn't as happy as I deluded myself into thinking.

Mona made mention of spring shaking up our sitch's. This is how mine is shaking up. I have never felt more detached and never felt better about my decision to walk way. i am sure I will still have ups and downs. And all I wrote here today may be the opposite tomorrow. Who knows. It is what it is, and I have lived and get stronger through each good and bad day.

Today though. I am not the LBH. I am the WAH. Walking away from someone that doesn't appreciate me and doesn't see the amazing person I am


The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
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Hey Tyler12,

Glad to hear you are so positive with the way you are going about your life. I hope that your confidence carries with you forward.


Me late 30's
W mid 30's
T 15, M 10
S4, S7
ILYBNILWY June 2015
In house S July 2015
W rings off Oct 2015
My ring off Feb 2015
Separate houses June 2016
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Props to you, Ty.

Know your worth and don't settle. I hope to be there some day too.

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