Oh yeah, forgot to mention… H sent me a company file today. He also asked me to send any of his mail I have at the house with my son this weekend. I don’t know if he knows that I will be at the vacation home place too this weekend. Not that I need to worry about it. And… I have a package for H that arrives at my house yesterday… I guess his brain does work sometimes… He figured this out perfectly, LOL.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
Bright, Depression and mlc go hand in hand. Memory loss is one of the "ingredients" of mlc. In my opinion, what your h is exhibiting is perfectly normal right now. So, you will need to watch those spreadsheets to ensure that what he's putting down is correct.
Bright, I'd like to hear more about you. It doesn't matter if it's boring or not, but we need to put more focus on you and what you are doing these days. It's time that Bright put herself first. Okay?
Enjoy your time at the vacation spot. Get some much needed rest and try to not talk about your h w/your friends. This is Bright's time away for some peace, quiet and relaxation.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Job, yes, I need to remember about the memory issue with MLCer. I will try to post more about me. I will also try to catch up on other threads. I didn’t not have internet for a few days (at the vacation home place).
Quick update, I hope… Went to the vacation home last weekend with my neighbor friend. I can call her a friend now, not only a neighbor, since she is the one who is still supportive of me.
We arrived on Thursday night at about 8:30 pm and wanted to get something to eat. So, we sent to the pavilion on the property where I knew they would still have some food. We walked in into an end of a karaoke night… And… guess who was there… H was there with his friends, including this crazy woman and her H, my (and his) friends from the condo next door. My GF was a bit confused at first, she didn’t know what to do. I told her that is perfectly fine to walk and say hi to my H. So she did. I walked and greeted the condo neighbors. The crazy woman approached us and said hi to her and we exchanged the hugs. My condo neighbors were right next to H. He seemed to be very happy to see me and I actually got a GOOD hug. Then I and my GF went and sat at the table, ordered the food and listened to the remainder of the karaoke night. H’s brother was not there, he went back to the condo before we arrived, so I didn’t get to see him.
We had a great weekend with my GF/neighbor! We went to see the race, then relaxed by the pool. We went to the sea every day. We went to town with my other GF (mutual friends), we went for dinner to my mutual friends’ house one night. My son with his GF and four other friends showed up on Friday night. I haven’t seen them after that, since we all did our own things. I haven’t seen H and his brother for the rest of the weekend. Which was nice, but also brought a bit of sadness… But, I didn’t have any expectations, so it was OK.
And then the weird thing happened… After we crossed the border, I turned my phone on and there was a text from H. He was asking me if I has any discount codes for a one way car rental… WHAT???????? I replied to him after I got back home, that I would look and see if I still have these. I used to be able to find the greatest deals on car rentals by plugging in some corporate rates and coupons I found on the Internet. I used to book all H’s rental cars and hotels. So, I tried a few codes and coupons I had and sent H an e-mail with the best one this morning. When I came to work I had another text from H telling me that this code didn’t work for him, maybe because he on Mexican IP address. So, I decided to offer my help and asked him if he would like me to try this code. He said yes…
At the end, we had an entire morning exchanging the texts. The code I gave him didn’t work for me either, so put a different one and got a decent price. The bottom line is that I booked the car rental for him, just like in the old days… Feel free to give me 2x4, since by doing this I enabled H once more and made his life easier… It was kind of spontaneous for me though. I did the same favor to my GF in the past too, booking her car rental. So, I figured that I would do this for H. After all, this is something completely “new”… he hasn’t asked me to do this kind of favor for him after the BD. Not sure what gotten into him and why he decided to ask me for help… Maybe he “woke up” and thought that he was back in the times when I was still his W, LOL. I thought that it would not hurt to help him this time… and see where it goes… I can always say NO in the future, but at least I have a choice… I have no expectations, it is like I helped a good friend. I have to admit thought that it feels good to know that I’m the last resort when H needs some help.
I think I’m coming down with some cold or flu… I think that I was so overstressed in the last couple of month or so, I was going on an auto pilot. This little vacation gave me so much needed rest, but I’m afraid that it was not enough. So my body is telling me to take more rest. I am working from home today.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
Hope you feel better. How weird it must have been to run into H? I can't imagine, but it sounds like you did great. I am glad you had a nice time. I am still thinking about my own get away, I definitely need some beach time
I won't give you a 2x4, but it might give him something to think about if one of these times you don't help him out. You can still do it in a nice way.
Get sleep, drink lots of water, and take vitamin C!
Me 48 H 46 S 11 M 2004 BD 8/13 H moved out 2/15 -live in the present, enjoy the beauty around and within you, explore your new future-
Mleigh, thanks for stopping by. I always have in mind when I’m at the vacation place when H is there, that there is good possibility that I run into him. I was just not prepared for that night. I never thought that H would be “enjoying” karaoke. Yes, something new for him. I was actually surprised that I didn’t run into H more during last weekend, as there are only so many places in town where people hand out.
I was home today, sicker than I was yesterday. I tried to work in the morning, but after 2 pm I was totally exhausted and went to lay down. I slept for 5 hours. I’m still not feeling good. I think I have fever. I hope I will wake up in a lot better shape tomorrow. I will need to go to work. Yes, I’m taking lots of water and teas and some supplements with vitamin C.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
Bright - so sorry to hear you are sick. I hope you feel better. Good to hear you had fun!! You deserve it. Rest up.
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
You and I are so much alike when it comes to feeling that we may help out our h's too much. I try to ask myself ... would I do this for a close friend and if I don't lend a hand, how will it make me feel about myself?
Thinking along those lines, I think you did the right thing helping your h with the car rental.
Feel better soon!
Me: 59 and holding H: :53 Me: 1 S, 1 D, both grown M: 19 T: 23 BD: 9-23-2013
If it made you feel good helping your H then accept it as that.
Glad you had a good time. Nothing better that a laugh and a smile.
Irish
M51 XW43 (38 at bd) BD1 MAY 30 2015 BD2 JUNE 25 2015 by text moved out Aug 2 2015 left both Daughters 13 and 15 (now 18-20) Her divorce Final July 26 2016 Last time she saw her kids Aug 2 2015
first Bright, some virtual soup for you! hope you feel better soon xoxoxo
second: I don't know about you, but I get a bit confused about where the line is between being a good friend and allowing h to cakewalk, meaning doing things for H that I would do without thought or question for a friend vs enabling or being taken advantage of.
I think if you are ok with it, then it's not being taken advantage of ... couldn't it be a reminder of what it's like having you on his side? I don't know it I'm making sense here, as I'm really tired, so forgive me if I don't make sense.
feel better soon! xoxoxo
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
