I misunderstood the other time she asked you. I thought the kids were already staying with you and she asked if you could keep them a little longer to see her hospitalized friend. However, if you are going to her place to keep them, and this is the second time this week, that sounds as if she's taking some advantage. I mean, her friend should understand she is tied up with the kids (if that is the real reason), or she could take the kids with her.
Don't be too available for your W to use.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Is there anyway to truly know if your marriage is pass the point of no return. I want so badly to get my wife back. When do you throw in the towel? Someone with experience please answere. I feel like my life is on hold.
Me-LBH, 44 Spouse-WAW, 41 Married for 9 years S, 7 S, 5 BD - November 20th 2015
It's not past the point of no return yet. Here's what I posted elsewhere: This is why I try to stay optimistic. Granted,it keeps me from moving forward with my life completely. But miracles do happen: I have friends who got back together after one had a 1.5 years long affair. They are doing well. Another couple are back together after one moved out with no warning to another state! That took over a year I believe. It's possible.
And I forgot to mention another couple I know. He loved her completely and worshiped the ground she walked on. She was kind of a biatch to him, didn't appreciate him at all. They separated, at her request. He found a cute apartment, started dating, and moved on with his interesting life. She missed him, couldn't believe he was doing so well. They are back together and happy.
Don't give up yet, but do try to GAL. Easier said than done when you are in crisis. Give yourself time.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
I just get so frustrated and angry. my wife will take no accountability in our marriage falling apart. I'm so tired of feeling like the scape goat in this whole situation. I feel like I'm going to come totally unglued at some point. I'm just wanting to get that off my chest.
Me-LBH, 44 Spouse-WAW, 41 Married for 9 years S, 7 S, 5 BD - November 20th 2015
Here's the thing, JB, you are exhausted and frazzled b/c you are not in control. She is in control of the relationship, and therefore, she's controlling you. The one who is needy and pursuing is not the one in charge. It is the one who causes distance.
You desperately want your wife back, that is clear. It is clear to her, also, that you desperately want her back. She controls your actions. Do you know how she controls you?
You have to drop the emotional rope you have tied around her waist. You are exhausted b/c you continue pulling on that rope.....trying to get her back to you. She is not only used to you pulling on the rope, but now she expects it. When you tried to go by the 37 rules and you said she didn't like it......do you know how she controlled your actions? With her temperament. That's all it takes for a lot of men to immediately stop whatever they're doing that the W doesn't like.....b/c the H does NOT want to get the princess in a bad mood. Women have controlled husbands with their moods since the beginning of time. So, you have to make up your mind that you will no longer be controlled by her moods. If what you are doing is not out of spite, revenge, punishment, or some other negative reason....then act according to what you believe is the right thing to do....and not according to how she will react.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I totally suck at this divorce busting.... My biggest concern is the one of the biggest complaints from my wife besides the anger issue of mine is that there hasn't been enough intimacy or emotional connection between us for several years. like all of this LRT and 180's is counter intuitive to the situation. it's also absolutely impossible for me to go completely dark since we have kids.
Me-LBH, 44 Spouse-WAW, 41 Married for 9 years S, 7 S, 5 BD - November 20th 2015
Just let my wife know that we owe 2750.00 in taxes this year. Her response was how dependent were you claiming last year. I said what's your point. We owe taxes off how much we both Madge last year. Wether or no we got it through out of last year or now the amount of taxes is the same. You had no problem spending the money last year. " Bottom line is WE owe 2750.00 in taxes. It felt good to finally stand up to her. She did not like it. Tough [censored].
Me-LBH, 44 Spouse-WAW, 41 Married for 9 years S, 7 S, 5 BD - November 20th 2015
I need some solid advice here. I moved out 1 month ago on my own choice. We both are on the deed of the house and there are 2 children involved. I'm starting to feel that Ive given my wife a real advantage if she decided to say I abandoned the children and house. She gave me her word she wouldn't, but what does her word at this point mean. I'm really tempted to move back in this weekend and take the spare bedroom. Please advise pro's and cons.
Me-LBH, 44 Spouse-WAW, 41 Married for 9 years S, 7 S, 5 BD - November 20th 2015
