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Joined: Oct 2014
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WillDo Offline OP
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My wife arrange counselling for us. Initial consultation tomorrow. However, she still asks about my plan.


Me: 43, W: 43
M: 16, T: 18
D - 7, D - 7
ILUB: 26 August 2014
Still living together
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 35
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I wouldn't move out. If she's willing to do counseling and a NC letter, there might be a part of her that's willing to work on her marriage. However, she could be using counseling to reinforce her negative feelings towards you. She'll probably pick you apart and make you look like the villain during counseling. In regards to the NC letter, just be prepared that it guarantees nothing. She can always still cheat with the same guy or another guy.


M41 W39
D3
Open Marriage Request by W 6/15
BD 9/15
1st EA 10/15
2nd EA discovered: 1/16
I moved out: 1/16
2nd EA blew apart 2/16
PA 4/16
I've had enough, filing for D
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WillDo Offline OP
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Thanks. I don't also want the kids be travelling around due to W's silly attitude. And to be seen having her need to move around. In counselling she believes the counsellor will be by her side regarding the move out. No matter how bad she will make me seem, a pro-marriage counsellor should guide correctly and even ask to avoid immediate reactions. Will see.


Me: 43, W: 43
M: 16, T: 18
D - 7, D - 7
ILUB: 26 August 2014
Still living together
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 284
W
WillDo Offline OP
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Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 284
and I sleep in a different room now and she avoids me as the girls are asleep.


Me: 43, W: 43
M: 16, T: 18
D - 7, D - 7
ILUB: 26 August 2014
Still living together
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 284
W
WillDo Offline OP
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OP Offline
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W
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 284
again little sleep


Me: 43, W: 43
M: 16, T: 18
D - 7, D - 7
ILUB: 26 August 2014
Still living together
Joined: Nov 2013
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No sleep is the worst. I'm not sleeping either.

At work, Im a zombie trying to keep my eyes open.

Hang in there.

Joined: Jan 2016
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Once I moved out, I started sleeping better. I'll see her posts on FB and she'll be posting stuff in the middle of the night. Obviously, she's having trouble sleeping. She looks like hell too.


M41 W39
D3
Open Marriage Request by W 6/15
BD 9/15
1st EA 10/15
2nd EA discovered: 1/16
I moved out: 1/16
2nd EA blew apart 2/16
PA 4/16
I've had enough, filing for D
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 284
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WillDo Offline OP
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Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 284
Michelle had a nice article about be in love for the sake of the children. I enjoy reading it.

Today, we will go to counselling. It will be initial consultation. On the internet one article I read asked to be prepared to know how to save a marriage. I have been doing slef help for 1,5 years so I feel ok about it.

What are the experiences you had? What would you recommend?


Me: 43, W: 43
M: 16, T: 18
D - 7, D - 7
ILUB: 26 August 2014
Still living together
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 284
W
WillDo Offline OP
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Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 284
The idea is to avoid the pitfalls that we al know is not productive. The centre is experienced in couple therapy. I don't know the individuals.

I have so many should questions.

How much of her affair should I talk about?
How open should i be about myself? Depression, my worries, my panic attacks.
What are more constructive arguments? How can we understand each other?

This morning she has been talkative. She will be travelling far but coming back for the counselling.

I was on training last week and noticed how negative/impatience I was compared to others. It was a negotiation training :-) From Gottman compromise is the key to happiness. So those negotiation rules, don't always count in relationships.


Me: 43, W: 43
M: 16, T: 18
D - 7, D - 7
ILUB: 26 August 2014
Still living together
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 284
W
WillDo Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
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W
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 284
Who has managed to snap out of the horror?


Me: 43, W: 43
M: 16, T: 18
D - 7, D - 7
ILUB: 26 August 2014
Still living together
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