So asking him how our convo made him feel, validating him and expressing that I only want peaceful and positive conversation with him is a no-no right now? The man ignores me until he wants to respond.
"Be messy and complicated and afraid and show up anyways."
So asking him how our convo made him feel, validating him and expressing that I only want peaceful and positive conversation with him is a no-no right now? The man ignores me until he wants to respond.
Understand that men are not into feelings like women. So I would suggest not having that conversation.
If he starts the conversation then validation would be appropriate. And it would be better to just show him the action of peace rather than speak it in words.
So asking him how our convo made him feel, validating him and expressing that I only want peaceful and positive conversation with him is a no-no right now? The man ignores me until he wants to respond.
Bingo! You are exactly right! No relationship talk is best right now. Do not bring it up! If he brings it up, think about what your DB Coach has been telling you.
Pursuing and pleading are definitely not working so doing a 180 would certainly be better.
Focus on YOU! Become the best HopeRB and Mom that only a fool would leave. Make changes in yourself for you and your kids.
It is easy to be conflicted when you have so many emotions and thoughts going through your head!
Knowing what to do and what not to do at this point is crucial. Feel free to give me a call at 303-444-7004 when you would like to schedule another session with your DB Coach.
Cristy Resource Coordinator The Divorce Busting Center 303-444-7004
A Divorce Busting Coach can help you save your marriage, even when your spouse wants out.
Email virginia@divorcebusting.com or 303-444-7004 for more information or to get started right away.
Thank you. Unfortunately, we don't have any kids which gives him all the more ammunition to do what he wants to do. He's supposed to come over and help me with the something in our apartment - this will be the first time I'm seeing him in 2 months! I don't know how I should react to him - should I be light-hearted and fun, pretending that I don't have hole in my heart? Should I mirror his actions? I will definitely not bring up the marriage unless he does but at the same time, there are actions that need to be taken that are because of all this so it's kind of hard not to bring up our relationship.
"Be messy and complicated and afraid and show up anyways."
I'm thinking I will just behave as if he is an old friend. This is advice my DB coach gave me and I thought it was interesting b/c I had never looked at that way before. How would you treat an old friend? Not get too deep or personal, put your best foot forward, etc. Very hard when technically he is in fact, on "old friend", he is still my DH and I miss him.
"Be messy and complicated and afraid and show up anyways."
H said he has to work and can't come by. It's hard to deal with this rejection and keep pressing forward but I do. I simply validated him and asked him about his work. So much time has passed by but, I know God is working behind the scenes and he is for me and not against me. This is the hope I hold on to tightly and I feel strong in that. Does anyone have insight into this kind of situation?
"Be messy and complicated and afraid and show up anyways."
It is hard not to interact with the spouse you hope to reconcile with. But, it sounds like the conversation was good - no pressure or talk about your M. I hope you get some positive signs soon. Like you, I hope God is in my corner helping me fight for my marriage because it certainly feels like an uphill battle. Hope you can press forward and not be too down tonight!
M 44 H 46 M 20yrs T 25 yrs S15 S12
ILYBINILWY 7/18/15 Move to MBR 9/8/15 Physical Separation 10/10/15 Suspect A 8/2015 Confirm A 12/27/15 D filed by H 2/2/16
