Oh and by the way, you'll need to detach yourself from her. Tell yourself you deserve better and what she does is beneath your standards as a person. It's done wonders for me during my separation. You'll drop the ball now and then but it will help you feel better about your situation and you'll feel better about yourself. You'll also be able to focus more on your boys since you'll be less focused on her. Hopefully the courts will give you a fair ruling, that's gotta be hard.
M41 W39 D3 Open Marriage Request by W 6/15 BD 9/15 1st EA 10/15 2nd EA discovered: 1/16 I moved out: 1/16 2nd EA blew apart 2/16 PA 4/16 I've had enough, filing for D
Another night. Tick. This it utterly brutal. the only thing I can liken it to is waiting in an airport for a long delay to pass. I just count minutes into hours. I think about my boys constantly. I think about what she is doing using them against me. Sometimes I start to doubt myself. Was I a good Daddy ? Am I a good Daddy ? I looked through the pics on my phone and it gives me unbelievable strength knowing that yes with no doubts, I am a good father to my boys. I know they look up to me and we have a bond that is true father and son. It made me smile inside but it hurts like nothing I have ever felt. I am strangely content knowing they are eating properly, I hope their school work is not suffering. I have a parents evening tonight so will take time to talk with their respective teachers to note any change in their behaviour. I am at work again. Today's mission is to find super hero duvet covers for the boys bedroom so its ready for when common sense prevails. I have no money still but pay day is around the corner and have a new 'single' bank account ready. I keep telling myself. The now is not the forever...
me45,W43 S9,S5 T15yrs M10yrs BD 4/07/15 W wants D 4/07/15 W filed 8/05/15 D petition arrived 21/12/15 Merry xmas, W,S5 S9 moved out 5/2/16
Sat at my desk this morning. Was doing ok, feeling stronger. I Looked at facebook pics of my boys. Big mistake. I felt guilty if I didn't look at them, like I was betraying them somehow. I saw their smiles and our family life as it was. I feel cold. I feel empty. Big step backwards. Idiot.
me45,W43 S9,S5 T15yrs M10yrs BD 4/07/15 W wants D 4/07/15 W filed 8/05/15 D petition arrived 21/12/15 Merry xmas, W,S5 S9 moved out 5/2/16
You didn't ask for all of this. Somebody else did. Print the pictures out an put them on your desk/desktop. You will feel closer to them. I deserve better.
