Thank you guys. I understand what you saying more now squiggy. Im def GAL tonight. He called me about 8 times since I have been called. I returned one call, it was about what show on netflix the kids like lol.
You guys give me the best advice. Thank you. I will do better the rest of the week!
I see you are doing so well under the circumstances. Some time ago I would feel kind of OK one moment and very low the next. I was an enormous roller coaster and I did not get why things were happening that way.
Today, I have those feelings, but they come more sporadic. I feel I have a little more control over my emotions. I also have more stuff going on in my life and they are not directly related to XH. It is one way, one road and it is building a life for ourselves that can make us feel better.
The YoYo of emotions, limbo, and all the pain that comes with it can take a toll on your, so be gentle to yourself and try to find joy on small things that comes across.
You are doing well, and in a much shorter time then I did. You are a smart woman and with your H or without him you will be OK.
Wrll I came home and he had taken down every picture of us ever from my room. It hurt. Im sitting on my bed crying. Im oulling it together before he shows back up with the kids though.
Sometimes we need to get ourselves into those big girls pants and tough up.
It hurts a lot, but more then that he is being very disrespectful. He may not want to share life with you anymore (and we will see about that), but you were and still are his wife, the mother of his children and for that alone he needs to respect you.
He left the house, so every single time he is there he needs to refer what he is doing to you. You don't need to yell on his face, neither say bitter words, but you need to make it clear that you want him to talk to you about anything he does that will affect or disturb your life.
You also see it very clear now why he wants to pay less child support and yet pay all your bills. I am sorry but you have a controlling H. He wants to have all the rights to tell you what you will do or don't.
He is being unfair, playing dirty games with your emotions, being extremely selfish and not saying a complete bastard for doing such things in such immature way.
Not saying that you will do it, but that's why many LBS serve their WAHs with the D papers... because things get a little out of hand and they think they can walk all over us any time they feel like it.
I am afraid that this is some crazy reaction he is having because you look confident, happy and is not really having a fit every time you see him. It's confusing him and he is probably determined to push your bottoms and have his justifications that "this is why I need to end our M, because you always blow on me this way, and blah, blah, blah".
Sweetie, you know your H better then us, you know what kind of talk you need to have to ask him to at least talk to you first and agree on anything he does around the house.
Now, don't despair about this. The WAS does insane things and try to justify to themselves that they are doing the right thing, taking the right decision.
Some do a lot worse and then later come with their tails between their legs and asking for forgiveness. You can be aware of what he is doing so you don't react in a negative way.
Be strong Red, you can do this. I actually took the pictures down myself. I refuse to have his pictures around to remind me of the SOAB.
Today he is doing this and you are crying, tomorrow you will be hanging pictures of all your accomplishments and maybe he will be the one crying. We all make mistakes and to regret them is even more painful.
Have your head tall, set your boundaries if you can. Little by little it will take shape and you will teach him how to respect you the way you deserve. It does not matter if he thinks it is right or wrong, it is not about him, it is only about you, your kids, your life.
He's like did you see I took all the pictures down? And wouldnt drop it until I busted out crying and then he was like why are you crying? I'm sorry..it was just a joke..I thought it would be funny.
Today [censored]. I mean like every photo off my dresser, off the walls, our wedding album..the whole room was bare empty and it was a lot. He said he was gonna do the whole house but thought was mean.
I dont know what to think. I dont know what to do. I just know he is gone and today sucked.
I told him firmly..NEXT TIME just tell me he would like them to be taken down and removed and I can do it myself.
He said I can hang them back up.
He brought up the divorce AGAIN and how he can onlyngive my x,y,z blah blah blah while Im upset and I'm like UNTIL I get a job and figure stuff out let it go Im not talking about it because we will not know.
He asked why we don't talk about us and etc and I snapped alittle. I said it makes no sense for me to go cry to him about my divorce when he is the one who wants the divorce.
Im emotionally drained from him today. I really am.
Thank you pink and squiggy. I feel just drained today. Very drained.
