No, you're not the only one. I don't have Facebook either. I would tell you if I got one. What fun would that be if I didn't have my GAL friends on there with me?
Rain, why wouldn't you want to delete this app? It feels like it's turning the knife in your wound? I had a letter (phone for about a couple of weeks) for him, then decided that if I was to look it'd only hurt me more. So I posted it back. If this app is making your mind runs, delete it.
I hope you are not taking it the wrong way but it feels like that you are torturing yourself when you perfectly know what he is doing. Unless he shows you his phone consider him as using this app.
My buddy Zues, you said you wanted to see more of me focusing on me. First I want to point out that this is my safe place. My ranting and raving place. So yes, much of what I write is about XF and his stupid phone. Also to vent so that I don't attack him (as often).
Now, back to the point of what Rain will be doing for herself.
I started walking a lot and added working out in. However, I may be an anomaly, because as soon as I tell anyone, my motivation starts to wane. Everyone is always so gung ho about having people know and accountability partners. So that you wont slack. Reasonable enough but It doesn't work that way for me. So, to that end it's something I started that was making me feel and look better and something that I can't talk about. Sigh.
I have started watching TV. This may not seem like GAL but it is. For me. I watch my shows a few times a week. Why is this GAL? Because once I became aware of A I lost all interest (as many of us did) in things I onced liked and loved. And when the A moved to EA and he was home all the time again, I still had zero interest. If I watched anything it was whatever he put on. So now, I once again watch things I enjoy. Even got in a couple of movies when the kids went to bed.
I've started to write again. And gotten to research for a possible new book. And I love research. It's fun.
I have started deep cleaning and organizing my casa. I do a little each day.
The kids and I hit the park a lot. Library too. We play. We dance. We cuddle and watch their movies.
I talk to my friends more and NOT about XF. Well except for 2 but I don't do it as much with them.
I am getting through my stack of relationship books.
I have 180ed XF more than a few times now.
So thats a start. It works for me. For now. I need to find a way to not let what he does get to me. Then everything else will be even better! I sincerely believe this.
I also believe I will be able to make money once XF gets my car properly fixed especially if he is in his own place. Then I can work when they're with him. That would be great
And finally, a business idea that I am trying to figure out. Also another source of excitement for me. And trust me friend, I haven't been able to get excited about much for quite a while, so I feel blessed.
Rain (moi): 40 Ex Fiance: 39 3 kids On/off again EA & PA Last BD by ow 12/15 Moved kids and myself back into our own place: 12/15
Rain, you've got this. Think back. I gave MB some really good advice over the weekend. It was bold, but it worked. ttyl.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
So what's your plan for today Rain? Anything fun and exciting? I worked last night and keep saying I'm going to sleep, but then just have to read a little more, and a little more. I'm afraid I'm about to fall asleep over here. Really need to go to bed. I will catch you when I get up later. NYGal suggested coming up with a new GAL activity for us. Maybe you can put some thought into that and come up with something spectacular while I'm sleeping. I will check in later.
M:45 H:48 M:11 No kids BD:Sept'15 EA:Confirmed 1wk later PA: Oct'15 12 '15 2 wk R Just kidding, H wants NC 12 '15 H back w/OW 4 '15 R &still working on it
Anyway, I'm not sure if it was the phone thing from the day before or what but all I kept thinking while he was here was about what Anna said. How it's been 4 years and the phone trigger hasn't gone away. And I kept asking myself if I can do this forever. And I kept answering myself that I can't.
I have the same trouble as Anna, only for me it has been 9 years I don't think it ever goes away unless they are prepared to be fully transparent - which my H was not. I could check his phone whenever I liked but it had a password on so it doesn't take a genius to work out that he'll let me check it after deleting any incriminating evidence - we all now how easy it is to delete a text.
Rain, why wouldn't you want to delete this app? It feels like it's turning the knife in your wound? I had a letter (phone for about a couple of weeks) for him, then decided that if I was to look it'd only hurt me more. So I posted it back. If this app is making your mind runs, delete it.
I hope you are not taking it the wrong way but it feels like that you are torturing yourself when you perfectly know what he is doing. Unless he shows you his phone consider him as using this app.
Not at all Rouky. 2X4s are welcome here in Rain-ville. Or Rains World. Not sure what I'm calling my corner of crazy yet. and yes I do need to. I just have to build up to it. I will though.
And that took a lot of guts for you to do that Rouky. Most of us here would have read Hs letter.
I have the same trouble as Anna, only for me it has been 9 years I don't think it ever goes away unless they are prepared to be fully transparent - which my H was not. I could check his phone whenever I liked but it had a password on so it doesn't take a genius to work out that he'll let me check it after deleting any incriminating evidence - we all now how easy it is to delete a text.
Precisely! You've hit the nail on the head. If there really is nothing going on then there would be no need for passwords etc. And yes, blasted technology! So, 9 years huh?
If there was transparency maybe the trigger would fade for us in time. At the rate we are going I will never know.
I don't think it ever goes away unless they are prepared to be fully transparent - which my H was not. I could check his phone whenever I liked but it had a password on so it doesn't take a genius to work out that he'll let me check it after deleting any incriminating evidence - we all now how easy it is to delete a text.