Still don't know how to transfer previous post with phone, so it was labelled: Cheers to a new beginning.
Woke up happy and blessed. Maybe the sunshine has a lot to do with it or that I'm still in love with STBXH, and mainly because I can feel that God has my back! My guts feeling is telling me that everything will work out fine in the end.
Did a 180 with my kids today, I have bought on their behalf Valentine's present for their dad. We never used to celebrate it as we met later on in that month, so that's new for me. I really enjoyed letting the kids chose what they wanted for their dad, and there was no idea behind him (like trying to get him back). I did it because the kids wanted to and in a way I want him to know through his kids that he has stepped up as a father and he is doing more now with them than he ever did when we were together.
I know OW is still in the picture, now I don't hate her or think about her. I know why she fell in love with the kid's father as I geniouly believe that he is still a good man but his mum's death sent him on this destroying path.
I don't want to fight with him as he'll always be part of my life, and I'm starting to be the person I was when I met him: carin and loving. My relationship with my kids is improving, although at times they trigger me and the old me is back. It seems that there is a shift in behaviour:STBXH behaves like I was a couple of years ago, while now I'm behaving more like who he was before his mum passed away.
I know I need to get myself strong before I can offer him any support if he ever returns. What makes me hope again is that STBXH still enters the property whereas he never did that with ex; he has accepted to look after kids while I go and see my parents and has made arrangement for them when he is working ( he could have nasty and said not my problem), when I ask him if he can help me out for stuff in the house he does it. Could it be guilt I don't know. He still hasn't introduce OW to kids, whereas I was introduce within 7 months when we first starting dating to his eldest child. They have been now together for 3 years. Youngest daughter tells me that they went to see a house which isn't where I we live and it's a good 20 minutes drive, and closer to his work. Youngest daughter also added that he isn't wearing necklace anymore when he is with them.both girls told me that when he is in his new house, I'll get invited for meal. Even if it never happens, at least it's nice of him to think this way as he never done that for his previous partner.
I'm moving on with my life, still hoping to R and also at the same time not putting my life on hold.
I believe that God has a plan for me and I'm letting him guide me :-)
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Small world, small world. I spent the afternoon with a good friend of mine and I have just found out that she is a good friend with my STBXH's OW's sister. Don't really know what to do?
Small world, small world. I spent the afternoon with a good friend of mine and I have just found out that she is a good friend with my STBXH's OW's sister. Don't really know what to do?
Wow. I don't even know what to say Rouky, beyond please don't make the mistake I did. I asked questions with answers that still haunt me.
Rain (moi): 40 Ex Fiance: 39 3 kids On/off again EA & PA Last BD by ow 12/15 Moved kids and myself back into our own place: 12/15
Ah that's a tricky situation- I think that curiosity would get the better of me And I would ask although I know it is not the right thing to do. I would advise against it as it also puts your friend in an awkward position.
Maybe you can be honest with your friend and explain how that makes you feel and just agree not to discuss her?
I feel for you as its like the worst thing wanting I know everything about actually the information only hurts you
Sending hugs xxx
Me 35 H 38 Married 4 years together 13 years Affair started sept 2015 BD 15th Nov 2015- husband left that night son age 3 daughter age 1
My friend doesn't know that her friend is my STBXH's OW's sister, so I have no intention of mentioning it to her. I'm just realising how small the world is! My friend is hoping that we will reconcile. Honestly I don't know. I still love him much, unfortunately he isn't showing any sign of wanting to!
I realised that when I started DB he was back with OW ( I didn't know at the time), before he went back to her I had a window of 3 months as I could see he wasn't fully gone. I guess the pleading got the best of him and he went back to her. Only me to blame for this.
Oh well, nothing I can do expect pray and hoping for the best.
Sounds good, Rouky. Did you ever find the Divorce Busting Facebook page?
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
I realised that when I started DB he was back with OW ( I didn't know at the time), before he went back to her I had a window of 3 months as I could see he wasn't fully gone. I guess the pleading got the best of him and he went back to her. Only me to blame for this.
Oh well, nothing I can do expect pray and hoping for the best.
Rouky, please don't think that your pleading meant he went back to her. He is his own person and would have made that decision regardless of what you did. You are not to blame for him not sticking to his vows.
One of my friend is surprised that I don't ask STBXH where he is going to leave. I just told her that he's the father of my children and I trust him to do what's best for them. She replied how can you trust him after what he did to you?
I don't trust him with me but not with our kids. He has been a better father than he was for his first daughter, and yes I trust him not to put our kids in danger and to look after them. At the end of the day we are no longer together, and I believe that he has to make his own decision regarding his relationship with his kids. I'm not getting involved with it.
Not been getting much GAL lately as work is crazy. I'm also looking forward to go and see my parents next week. Always wanted to do it when dad was in hospital with leukaemia, and braver done it as I felt guilty to leave STBXH as he had lost his mother and I felt it was rubbing it in his face. Now I do what I want!
Need a bit of advice. STBXH has texted today about him being on his way to town and was wondering if I was dropping kids to him or would it be easier if he was to pop in. When I saw his message I was dropping the kids. I'm tempted to reply that if next time he wants to pop round he can. Why I want to do that it's because since I have been dropping kids he never asked if he could come round, so I see it as a tiny tiny baby step from him. He has even offered to come earlier to look after kids when I'm going to see family.
