This may be met with a solid no. Lately I have been thinking a lot of asking W sister if she knows how she is. I know shouldn't, the urge is starting to overwhelm me tho.
I'm sure this breaks more than the 2 DB rules I can think of right now. As much as I want someone to tell me it's ok. I think I am more looking for someone to convince me I shouldn't.
It would be nice to know if she ever talks about me or says anything about possibly thinking its a mistake. There may be things I don't want to hear as well.
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
I debate the same thing though I want to reach out to her best friend. Ever since my WW texted me with "I keep having dreams about you every night", I really want to get an idea about what is going on that head. It is very very hard to resist the urge.
I think we both know it is the wrong move. They will tell our WW's about the convo without a doubt. No matter what we hear in response, it will be bad. If we hear something positive, our expectations will grow. If we hear something bad, we will not feel very good.
I hear you about the urge though. It is hard to resist it but I think it is best.
Like most urges that one passed. Like you said Pinn. If it's positive my expectaions will grow and really I only wanted to hear positive.
Meeting up again today to drop off the boys. We had a good weekend. Got outside and played even though the wind was gross. Did some crafts. Made puffed wheat squares. Made Carmel popcorn and watched inside out again.... Haha.
Next weekend it's all 4 kids again. So I am looking forward to that. Especially because 1 it will be 4 days as we have a long weekend. And 2 it will be the last time I see them for a few weeks as I have to buckle down for the last week of school and then I have my trip the weekend after school.
Although I find my confidence in myself growing all the time and feeling better about my own and kids happiness I am starting to feel like I want the hope for MR to go away. Not that I want to stop loving S just to stop wondering if this is all worth it. To stop thinking ya all of this might make things better on top of it being important to myself. I want it to just be important to myself.
I know I am getting there because I am able to talk to W without expectation most of the time. I am reminding myself that I am doing things with no strings attached. I don't expect a reaction when I do things for myself or with the kids. And I feel less nervous approaching her with subjects I would have avoided in the past because of fear of anger or judgement that would have come from her.
The roller coaster is climbing today. Now to make sure the drop is short or not at all. Just level out into a train and keep chugging forward
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
Tyler, I'm glad the urge passed for the time being. WHEN it comes back, resist again! I talked to a family member of my H a couple of times. I know that this family member knows what's going on and doesn't approve. Even told me one time "I'm really sorry this is happening to you." HOWEVER, I also found out that the family member was lying to me and telling H that I was contacting them. Now, I KNOW that this family member wants to tell me what's going on and does not approve. But, I also know that blood is thicker than water and no matter what, they are going to stand with their family and not with you. I was very sad when I realized that what this person was telling me was not true. I really didn't think they would blatantly lie to me to protect him. I didn't call this person out on their lies, I just texted and thanked them for "trying to help me" and then apologized for putting them in the middle and promised it would never happen again. They don't know that I know they were lying. I tried to take the high road and let them think I appreciated the LIES they were telling me but felt bad about putting them in the middle. In all honesty, I REALLY DID feel bad about asking anything anyway. And, I won't ever do it again. Please don't do this. It makes you feel bad and you won't ever know if they are being honest.
M:45 H:48 M:11 No kids BD:Sept'15 EA:Confirmed 1wk later PA: Oct'15 12 '15 2 wk R Just kidding, H wants NC 12 '15 H back w/OW 4 '15 R &still working on it
Tyler, I'm glad the urge passed for the time being. WHEN it comes back, resist again! I talked to a family member of my H a couple of times. I know that this family member knows what's going on and doesn't approve. Even told me one time "I'm really sorry this is happening to you." HOWEVER, I also found out that the family member was lying to me and telling H that I was contacting them. Now, I KNOW that this family member wants to tell me what's going on and does not approve. But, I also know that blood is thicker than water and no matter what, they are going to stand with their family and not with you. I was very sad when I realized that what this person was telling me was not true. I really didn't think they would blatantly lie to me to protect him. I didn't call this person out on their lies, I just texted and thanked them for "trying to help me" and then apologized for putting them in the middle and promised it would never happen again. They don't know that I know they were lying. I tried to take the high road and let them think I appreciated the LIES they were telling me but felt bad about putting them in the middle. In all honesty, I REALLY DID feel bad about asking anything anyway. And, I won't ever do it again. Please don't do this. It makes you feel bad and you won't ever know if they are being honest.
This is more or less exactly what happened with me as well. Right after BD, I was talking to WW's best friend. The best friend told WW (obviously) and WW lost her mind a bit. I wasn't upset at WW for getting mad... I was upset with myself for sticking her friend in a very tough spot. I want to contact the best friend bad because I have no idea where WW's head is at... but I know I cannot.
So we met today and for the most part it was good. We did chat a little about her work again. I have no expectation of er asking how I am Nd she doesn't. I don't tell either.
It just hurts she is done. OM is still in the picture and I thought I was past that. I'm not. I am so mad at myself for everything I did that contributed to this. And I am so frustrated because I have already changed and kept it up for 3 months now. With zero backslide on what I needed to do to changes. And though it feels great to myself it means nothing to her.
That is why I just want to bury these feelings and move on. I am done hurting over this. I am done with te pain she causes me. I just want to be over it and not love her anymore
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
Also for those that follow. I did tell her I want to meet at the indoor playground next Saturday. All I said was this is where this is when for S1 bday and the kids can play. I did not invite her to stay, I also did not tell her she couldn't. If she wants to that would be great for the kids. If not I don't care. It's not about her. It's about my family, me and my kids.
She seemed confused and caught off guard by me telling her this. Her response was a seemingly indifferent ok ya I will meet you there.
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
Be strong. I am going through similar sitch. They are lost. I have my boys and had a great day today with them! Keep on moving on!
H-46 XW-38 T-7 M-6 S-9,8,8,6,4 S 11/30/15, I filed 12/8/15 EA 2/1/16 D dismissed 3/24/16 PA 3/18/16 confirmed 4/22/16 XW files for D 4/1/16 - D final 11/17/16 Finally moving forward...
