Hi Ghost, you may want to suggest to your W that you share the weekends. Some people have the kids for 4 days and then not for 4 days, so they get some weekends but not others. Please don't feel that you have to fit in with all your W's plans. This is a negotiation and it is perfectly reasonable that you put forward your own views. I also think it is best for the kids if they get to have some weekend time with both parents. SS lived with us every weekend, and we had some lovely weekend times. I do think he longed for some nice weekend time with his Mum too though.
JMHO of course...
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Hi I would really like some parenting advice tomorrow night my wife is out working my eldest son is at a party and I have been invited out for some drinks my eldest daughter is at home but she says she will only babysit if I let her boyfriend sleepover ....recently there have been several times when my daughter has been very rude to me and I have told her that at the moment until her behaviour changes no I have told her that him staying over is not going to happen
Would you back down and do a deal with your daughte
Me:48 W 41 M:18 T:26 2 D 18 & 4 2 S 17 & 13 Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation D filed 06/17 Separate houses 10/17 D Final 29/12//17.
Your daughter will only babysit if her boyfriend can sleep over?! Who runs your house Ghost? You or your daughter?
I don't have kids, I'll say that upfront. But as a man, I would tell my daughter her boyfriend can sleep over when she's moved out and living on her own. That would be the only time he could sleep over. Ever. Why is this even a negotiation?
Is she paying rent there? Is she paying all her own bills? If not, why is it even an issue?
How about you don't do deals with anyone Ghost.
M 39 W 36 T5 M3 BD - 1/15 Separated - Same Day Served 9/15 D finalized 6/17
I'm a bit taken back here G , your Ds 17 right ? Maybe I miss reading the sleeping over part Just sleeping in your house or sleeping in Ds room ?
It doesn't sound like a deal to me More like blackmail Get a babysitter and tell her to pull herself together.
Just my humble opinion but I have two Ds and unless hell freezes over then that will not be a topic for discussion until I'm dead and even then it will be a short convo
Time to be a dad here and it's not something that's discussed more than once
I agree with PigPen. Don't negotiate with your daughter, she's your daughter, that sets a bad precedent. Your daughter will ultimately lose respect for you if you give in to such a demand. You need to be a parent.
I also don't think it would make you look attractive or strong in your W's eyes. Sorry to be so blunt. I just don't think it is remotely a good idea.
Me:44 W:38 T:10.5 M:7.5 D:3 BD: 7/2015 W moves out of MBR: 9/2015 WW files for D: 2/8/2016
So,no she s not paying rent ...so would I be wrong to say to her that she is going to have to babysit tmorrow night for me I have two places that I would like to go to one is an awards ceremony for my son from 8 to 10 then I could join some friends for a drink once I have collected my son from his party
I think my daughter is out of line trying to black mail me she calls it a favor for a favor
She is 17 and does very vey little to help arround the house
So do I say to my daughter if you do not sit for me tomorrow night (bearing in mind she has no plans) then she can forget her boyfriend coming over again....I do not want to be harsh however we do a lot for her and right now she is actually starting to upset me ....I am sick of her trying to dictate what will and will not happen .....
She will say to my W I cannot wait till we move in to separate houses then I do nt have to live with daddy ...I guess I am scared of upsetting her and have her then decide not stay with me at all when we go separate houses.
Me:48 W 41 M:18 T:26 2 D 18 & 4 2 S 17 & 13 Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation D filed 06/17 Separate houses 10/17 D Final 29/12//17.
Hi I would really like some parenting advice tomorrow night my wife is out working my eldest son is at a party and I have been invited out for some drinks my eldest daughter is at home but she says she will only babysit if I let her boyfriend sleepover ....recently there have been several times when my daughter has been very rude to me and I have told her that at the moment until her behaviour changes no I have told her that him staying over is not going to happen
You don't mean that you have allowed a boy to sleep with you're underaged daughter at your house?
Since when do fathers allow some guy to sleep over with his daughter?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
One of the issues is that about six months ago my daughter asked if her boyfriend could stay over my wife and I had a discussion and my wife said that if she was going to sleep with him then it would be safer if she was in our house rather than in a car or at friends house where if things got out of hand at least we would be arround to sort things out so my W does not have a problem with him sleeping over ....I guess when my W was a similar,age my parents used to let her sleep over at my parents house
I generally do not have a massive issue with him staying as I want my daughter to be safe and if she is going to do it she will find a way ....but as an example I gave my daughter and her boyfriend I left home to his house and on and on the way my daughter was asking me if her boyfriend could stay over on Saturday night I said no she went on to say the only reason I was not letting him stay was because she was sleeping with someone and I am not....and that I am jealous.....bearing in mind the boyfriend was in the back of the car I did not stop and ask him how he felt during the conversation he may have been embarrassed I don't know....
Would,I,be,wrong to tell her that she will be babysitting and if she does not then she can forget any chance on him staying again....I guess come down on her tougher
See I worry a lot about upsetting the apple cart upsetting the situation so want to bend over backwards to accommodate my W and my daughter
Thank you I really do not have anyone I can refer with I used to always run things like this past my wife
Thank you
Ghost
Me:48 W 41 M:18 T:26 2 D 18 & 4 2 S 17 & 13 Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation D filed 06/17 Separate houses 10/17 D Final 29/12//17.
She is not under age I was not totally happy when my daughter asked but my wife said that since she stayed with me at a similar age that she would rather her be sleeping in our house with him then out in a car or staying out with friends
Me:48 W 41 M:18 T:26 2 D 18 & 4 2 S 17 & 13 Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation D filed 06/17 Separate houses 10/17 D Final 29/12//17.
You don't mean that you have allowed a boy to sleep with you're underaged daughter at your house?