11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
Meh....nothing going on. I guess I feel myself slipping back into the darkness. Not liking it much, but don't really care enough to stop it I guess. Haven't been getting out at all. Just sitting here thinking about things and getting really frustrated and defeated. Haven't even been exercising or sticking to my "diet." So, on top of everything else, I get to feel like a failure because I've gained 5 lbs. Just so tired of this constant and never ending stress.
My youngest has been staying with her sister since her Dr appointment on Thursday. At some point today I will have to go meet them somewhere so I can get her back. My oldest texted me today to ask when we were going to meet. I told her I didn't know. She then asked "Did you just dump **** on me to keep?" LOL, how sad is that? I haven't even talked to either of them since Thursday. I know they probably think I don't care, but I just really don't have the energy for anything anymore. I REALLY need to pull myself together!!!!!
I sit here and read everyone's threads and how they saw their SO here or there, or had this interaction or that interaction, and it just makes me so sad because all I have is NC. That's it. I don't get to see H, or hear his voice, no text, nothing. It's like I don't even exist to him at all anymore. And, other than a handful of interactions that I forced on him, we have basically been NC for about 4 1/2 months.
Oh dear God...now I'm sitting here with tears running down my face. I havne't cried in the last 2 weeks. Just haven't allowed myself to go there. Just really having a hard time I guess. So painful. Tired of doing this.
M:45 H:48 M:11 No kids BD:Sept'15 EA:Confirmed 1wk later PA: Oct'15 12 '15 2 wk R Just kidding, H wants NC 12 '15 H back w/OW 4 '15 R &still working on it
It's ok to feel sadness MB. You have to let it out or it builds up and comes out when you don't want it to.
I haven't gone as long as you with NC and I am sure it is not easy at all. There are times when I try to tell myself maybe it would be easier with NC, deep down I know it wouldn't be.
You have been over to my thread and have probably seen I get down when I feel stuck at home or not up to doing anything. It's tough to want to do anything when your down, you just have to pull yourself up sometimes tho.
Can you get outside for a bit? Find a friend to visit? Clean up something? Anything to change your thought process. Put on some music and dance around like no one is watching!
You reminded me yesterday about the ups and downs. Remember we are here to help. Be good MB. I'm praying for you and hope I can return one of the smiles you give to me.
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
I'm sorry MB. You sound so sad. I wish there was something I could do for you beyond sending cyber hugs.
You're always cheering all of us on...you are not a failure! You are sarcastically funny (which we've agreed is the best kind of funny) you're giving and supportive to all of us here and we all appreciate you.
Did you ever follow any of the links when you were looking for similar stories with NC?
I hope your day turns around. Honestly...because you deserve to be happy MB. Your H is super confused, as most of them are. And your interactions with him may have been your doing but his reactions were NOT negative.
Okay they weren't positive enough to end the A (yet) but he could have cursed you out and taken a restraining order out on you. Or he could have moved and put D papers in or thrown your belongings onto the curb. My point MB, is that it actually could be worse.
I mean the man told you that you hypnotize him!!! He loves you.
We should find links to threads that can give you hope and inspiration. ((((((MB))))))
Weekends can be the worst. There's nothing going on here either and I'm just watching movies and trying not to obsess about my sitch.
I need to reel it back in and stay in the now. I keep thinking about the future and trying to predict how it will be. Will I be lonely? Back with waw? Living on my own?
It's so easy for my mind to just run obsessively.
I'm sorry you're hurting today. Make it through today.
Weekends are the worst. MB, I honestly believe your H is going to wake up and drop that tramp one of these days. Seriously. Be patient. Thornton, your situation is so new. Of course it hurts like nothing else. I've been completely 100% obsessed since November 4th. Can't think of anything else but getting W back.
And meanwhile, we just keep watching movies and reading and feeling lonely and sometimes feeling a little better and often not so much. Sometimes GALing and sometimes hibernating. We just keep breathing in and out, in and out...
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
