Zephyr that's your dynamic it repeats an old familiar pattern.
So tell me, how old is the pattern?
I can remember taking care of my twin brother just the same when he would fall and break an arm or whatnot...jeeze even as early as second or third grade. I remember my mom used to call me 'a mother hen' even back then in regards to taking care of my brothers.
To be fair, my mom was stay at home and took care of us...so not sure where that behavior came from.
Where physically in your body does this come from? I have spent all morning considering this...it feels like it comes from the stomach. It could be fear or anxiety that I am feeling today, not sure.
Stomach, chest etc...
Does it have a shape?
I would say a squished down ball...like size of a soccer ball.
Is it heavy, coloured, dull, treacle like?
hmmm....molasses-y maybe...heavy-ish.
Can you tell me?
This crazy V is asking, and it's ok to say no.
V
Not so Crazy V is always welcome to poke and prod...it shows me that you care and I really appreciate that right now!!!!
chest pain...I do not remeber that happening. I will cont8nue to monitor. I have calmed myself down a little...keep having to tell myself that she is a grown woman, although she is hurt and i want to help her, she does not NEED my help.
her strength is one of her qualities that i am attracted to. so i am trying to embrace that and let her pick herself up. ya she can't lift a case of water but she is not an invalid and should not be treated like one.
definitely against my nature
oh and by the way, because I haven't said it today, you are an amazing woman!!!
I have been attempting to encapsulate the feeling to identify the source of the emotion.
I have struggled with it, and had to have several goes. I think I have pinned it down a little. If I have the source is resolvable except that there may well be a second layer.
It is worth exploring whether an underlying reaction of the enteric nervous system is being triggered.
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This is a reasonable analysis of it
In rhetoric flight, fight or freeze system, this is freeze and is a stuck or trapped response.
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Two brains are better than one, especially if you're hungry Ever had diarrhea when you felt frightened? Had a stomach cramp before an important exam? Seen a snake barf a beetle meal when surprised?
If you've answered 'yes' to any question in this little quiz, you've already noticed the handiwork of an obscure piece of neurological networking called the enteric (defined) nervous system.
(On the other hand, if you answered a string of "no's," were you entirely candid -- or awake?)
Scientists who study the network of nerves surrounding the esophagus, stomach and intestines compare it to a microcomputer, and call the better-known brain-in-the-head a "mainframe." But while microcomputers represent the future of silicon processing, this biological micro-in-the-belly is a relic of the distant past, of a time when the most important thing in life was eating.
(So that's why they talk about the good ol' days...)
Millions of years before the dinosaurs, when animals first were evolving, thinking about tomorrow was distinctly less important than finding good grub today (not much has changed on this score). These primitive animals had another concern -- trying not to wind up inside something with sharper teeth. Both factors explain why the first nerves to develop were in the digestive tract.
When animals began doing more than just eating (say choosing a good wine to complement dinner), they evolved that better-known brain in the skull. But instead of replacing the downstairs brain, the upstairs brain was hooked up to it. And it turns out that both brains originate from a structure called the neural crest, which appears and divides during fetal development to form both thinking machines.
The enteric nervous system, present in all vertebrates (defined), has these functions: to regulate the normal (digestive) activity of the digestive system and prepare it for whatever its future may hold: whether it be sampling lobster thermidor or dodging a headlong charge from the king of the tigers.
With a population of 100 million nerves, the enteric nervous system is as complex as the better studied spinal cord. And like the spinal cord, it transmits and processes messages.
And while this nervous system isn't protected by a skull, many of its structures and chemicals parallel those of the mainframe brain. It has sensory and motor neurons, information processing circuits, and the glial cells (defined). It uses the major neurotransmitters: dopamine, serotonin, acetylcholine, nitric oxide and norepinephrine. It even has benzodiazepines, chemicals of the family of psychoactive drugs that includes Valium and Xanax.
Please explain. Sorry. Can't. Nobody knows. But it's an indication of the complexity of the gut-brain, and of the number of questions remaining to be answered about it.
I wonder what my stomach thinks about that?
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Zephyr if my analysis has merit then this is not classic anxiety or shame reaction. It will have its roots in disappointment and struggle.
Is this worth exploring?
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
I would have classified as fear, but struggle is probably right
my struggle is no secret here. I struggle whethere it is time to be done. I struggle withat how I can leave this unhealthy marriage and how I would be abandoning my children. I struggle with the gap between my wife's behaviors and a truly loving and vested partner. I struggle with seeing virtually every single marriage fail with as survivor if CSA and why I see this as somehow different. I struggle with how I can see my wife as different than all the rest.
I try to keep all of these things from my mind, accept that they are all possible and just live, you know I've been trying to really live...but then every once in a while this $hit cycles back and hits me in the gut, so to speak.
I go away for a few days and you post more than you have in a good while !!!
Good to see you posting. I hope it helped.
Catch you later
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together
