More news...so he came to my room to ask if I was irritated with him. I said yes, and explained that he was going against our agreement set up by our L's by moving things around without asking me. He explained his thoughts, and I said I understood, he'd just done it without even checking, and he's put himself into a place it was going to be harder to avoid interacting with him and could he please stay away from my side of the house.
He asked why that was a problem, and I said, "Look. We're not going to be friends." He wanted to know why, and I answered that friends don't treat one another they way he's treated me.
He slammed out of here, and sent me a text saying: "How I treated you, really? The last talk we had you did all the bashing and and name calling, not me. I just sat there and took it." I responded, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that." Now he wants to know, "So, how have I been treating you badly?"
Really? He wants me to spell it out? I haven't answered. I'm planning to just ignore him. What do you guys think? Should I have to spell it out?
I really don't know, M. That's why I'm asking if I should respond in any way. However, come Monday - he'll still be wanting an answer, I think. I'm not sure what I will say. If he can't figure out that D me against my will, and all the lying and cheating he's done, doesn't speak for itself, I really don't know what I'm supposed to do.
I one hundred percent agree with Mutation, what good would it do to you to carry on with the conversation? To me it feels like he is manipulating you, so you could engage into a fight. Personally I'd not reply and if he asked you on Monday about it I'd say I can't remember receiving this message but if you said you have I believe you, and walk away. Only my opinion as I'm not a vet.
What I think is that he's under the delusion that he can divorce me, and we'll still get along and be friends afterwards. He was honestly shocked and offended that I told him we weren't going to be friends. If you'd seen the look on his face, you'd probably understand better.
I equate divorcing me and continuing a "friendship" with cake-eating. He gets to screw whomever he wants, while keeping me as his buddy. I'm willing to be his wife and friend, but not just his friend. We haven't even begun to address this - this is the first time, so I want to be sure and get it right.
I'm not going to answer for a long while - until I've gotten plenty of input on the subject.
Don't talk to him. He only wants to rile you up again.
Avoid him if at all possible on Monday. Go for a walk, make arrangements with a friend, something, anything. He has done enough damage. You are just starting to recover from all the crap he has put you through. Don't let him drag you down again.
If anyone on here needs absolutely NC, it's YOU!!!!
Please stay safe!
Di-mond in the rough M-45 H-38 My children S-25 D-23 T 5 M 4 H left April Fools Day 2015
I did not give my opinion when I responded because I feel strongly about this. It seems like you want opinions.
I would let him stew in his own juices. I would not have a dialog with a man that indirectly put you in jail, did not help during your medical crisis, will not help you get your car and he's guilty much more. If he doesn't know the answer to his question then he's been sleep walking.
Thank you. Opinions are what I'm looking for. This is helping immensely.
He used to be a good man. I did point out to him the other day when I was going off on him, that while I had apologized, over and over, for the things I did to bring the M down - he hasn't uttered one single word of apology.
I don't think he wants me to be mad at him. I believe he wants me to act like everything is hunky-dory so that he can delude himself into thinking he's done nothing wrong - we just "grew apart". That's his favorite line.
I've begged him to think of his children. I've offered to go to MC. He's not interested in anything other than doggedly pursuing this course he knows to be wrong.
I'm not sure why he's so upset at the thought of us not being friends. Like I said, my best guess is that he wants that to soothe his conscience.
Ancaire "we" didn't grow apart -- THEY. Grew away from us. I am so tired of hearing that line. They just don't want to be "the bad guys" I have had a tonne of crap happen over the last two days but the thought of typing it all out is exhausting. It is bad! Do not reply to him. Nothing good EVER comes of it (I'm sure you have told me the same thing before:)
