Thanks Mleigh - you had me laughing. I LOVE how you are looking for holiday solutions for the dorm room. Too funny. But, your advice resonated with me. So thank you for that. It is encouraging.
Job - I had to endure two more mentions about the Christmas tree. (Collective groan, I know.) He told me again that he can't believe I threw it out and how much he missed it?!? Of course the irony is that he spent 99% of his day in the dorm room so not sure why suddenly this tree is so important. Maybe he can see through walls?!? I am definitely framing a picture of that tree and giving it to him for his birthday.
We had quite a stormy day here--even a tornado warning! This is my carpool day for S12. H was home early and from the dorm room calls out: you have carpool today, right? I say yes. Then, he comes into the kitchen and says, I assume you have this under control, but shouldn't you be picking up S12? I say I will. He comes in again, and in a cranky way asks when I will pick up S12. I tell him soon! (I find this hilarious that he randomly is micromanaging this when he barely knows the day of the week.). He says: hasn't school already ended? I tell him "no, it will end in 20 minutes." And there you have it! He is telling me when to pick up S12 when 4 months into the school year he doesn't know what time school ends.
I did tease him about that and I did see him smirk. He left the room before he laughed out loud. I told him I did not know how I would survive if he was not there to try and confuse me. LOL!!
As I was running the carpool, the tornado warning was issued. He texted me to make sure I knew about the warning. I asked him to go pick up S10 at his nearby friend's house. 5 minutes later h texts me that S is not there. S10 was at his friend's mother's house but h tells me they are at the father's house (which is 20 minutes away). But I know this is incorrect because I arranged it all myself. I just ignore his text and hope he will figure it out. A few minutes later he texts that S10 was in fact at the house I said he was. I can't make heads or tails of that one?!?
He did tell me he was enjoying one of the books I gave him for XMAS. First non essential conversation from silent monk H in quite a while.
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
If you needed any proof of the fact that your H isn't in his right mind, I think you've got it. But what you're also starting to see is he A) appreciated the decorating you did for Xmas and B) is starting to notice things like the kids needing to be picked up. The fog in his brain hasn't cleared by any stretch of the imagination, but occasional rays of light are penetrating.
I heard about the nasty weather out that way and wanted to see if you and your family are safe.
I agree w/kml, your h does have moments of seeing the light. I think the photo of the Christmas tree would be a wonderful gift! He really did enjoy that tree and all of the decorations. You should take that as a compliment.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Hi KML, Bright and Job. KML - yes it is interesting to see some glimmers of him noticing things going on around him. There are also more instances of him being able to see some humor. But sometimes he still snaps with anger so it is unpredictable. BUT, his ability to see some humor is refreshing and gives me hope. If he makes it through this but has the personality of a funeral director (and that is one of the new "sticks") I won't be able to live like that. Actually, his sense of humor is the very thing that drew me to being friends. From there it grew.
Bright - I am in the San Diego area. And Job - thanks for your concern. While we certainly need the rain here it is a deluge. The thunder storm that has lingered through the last day, is really odd for here, too. It reminds me of summers in Massachusetts--home. In the middle of the night there was this massive crack of thunder. There's never thunder here, never mind a whole day of it.
Anyway, let's see what the daily MLC forecast holds for me!
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
They are quick to snap if something rubs them the wrong way and it doesn't have to be anything you said or did...it could have been something or someone else that bugged them. I do hope that his sense of humor continues to shine through and he can finally start seeing that life can be fun no matter where you are.
I've been watching the weather channel and your state got hit quite hard. I don't ever recall your area having tornados or even warnings for them. The weather all over the world is a bit topsy turvy right now. I have daffodils up and iris are up about 6 inches and the trees have been budding out. The cherry blossoms have even bloomed in DC this year which is far too early for them. I always have a break from mowing the grass from mid November to mid March, but my grass right now could use a good mowing. The birds, bunnies and squirrels are doing their spring rituals and it's just too soon for all of that. I hope that the weather will finally settle down for all.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
HaWho, it looks like you are my neighbor! Maybe we should meet somewhere, invite Cali too. All of us are at the different stages, so it should be interesting... Not sure if mine is different from yours though, I cannot tell, since I don’t see H and don’t know what is going on with him. Could be some similar cycling, LOL.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
Hey Ha ... hoping you, Cali, Bright , KML all stay safe (did I forget anyone? if so, apologies)
Ha your TweenerHubby is a trip. I bet you could go to any local store and take advantage of the post-Christmas sales to find him some nice decorations for the dorm room. All the pretty lights, a timer, some nice fiber optic displays. Maybe he could even make some music to go along with one???
My H did the whole mimicking me thing during a fight a few months ago. It was so juvenile, I called him on it then when he wouldn't stop I hung up on him. I read your posts, laugh and also want to cry because I cannot imagine how stressful it must be living with this. Actually I want to cry because I remember how stressful it was living w/my MLCer. You deserve a special medal or something for the front row seat you have to the insanity of MLC.
Hang in there xoxoxoxoxo
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
HaWho HaWho OMGOMGOMG I just read the funniest freaking thing and all I could imagine was someone doing this to your husband! From funniest tweets from 2015: My neighbor has an unsecured wireless printer. I just sent this document to it.
"Hello. I am your Printer. I have become self-aware. Feed me ink or I will print out your search history when your wife is home alone."
OMG I'm almost peeing myself at the image of that coming up in H's dorm room ....
had to share.
oh. thanks for the laugh.
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
Bttrfly - thanks for the kind words. I think every MLC case provides its crosses for us to bear. And while yes, living with a crazy person presents its "challenges," (ha ha) when I can let go, I see holding on is SO much harder. And that frees up head space and gives me perspective, etc. I wish I could be successful at this all the time, but alas, I am a mere mortal.
I see MLC like the Matrix. Remember how confusing that movie is until you see what is up and what is down? Neo is told these sweeping statements that seem to make no sense. It isn't until he wakes up that he really understands what is going on all around him. I felt that same confusion, when in the beginning, I was told "to let go" and "detach" and "leave him to God."
Remember the scene where Neo asks why his eyes hurt? And Morpheus tells him it's because he's never used them? That's like me before I really began "to see" what this all is. I was just blind and bumping into walls trying to figure out what "this" all was.
We've even been offered the red pill or the blue pill. We can save ourselves or be sucked down the drain with a crazy person. Then, there is the scene where Morpheus says to Neo that he is trying to free Neo's mind but he can only show him the door. Neo has to walk through. That's why we are here: we're being shown the door.
And the scene with Neo and the spoon bending boy? Spoon bending boy: Do not try to bend the spoon. That's impossible. Instead only try to realize the truth. Neo: What truth? Spoon bending boy: There is no spoon. Neo: There is no spoon? Spoon bending boy: Then you'll see, that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself.
There is no spoon = there is no fixing this. We can only save ourselves. (I personally spent A WHOLE LOT of time, early on, not only trying to bend the spoon, but to reason with it, spit shine it and buff out any scratches.) LOL!
When I do a great job at detaching from my h's craziness I even picture myself contorting to miss all those bullets from the agents. Maybe I should start dressing like Trinity when I am home. LOL!
The vets are Morpheus. Job I think is part Morpheus and the Oracle.
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
