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Cheers Huddy, I don't think any of figured we'd be here. Surviving all of this with grace and your integrity intact is considerably more than an accomplishment in my book. It's heroic.

Enjoy Hong Kong and please don't disappear on us completely.

PP


M 39 W 36
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Served 9/15
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Merry Christmas, Huddy! Thinking of you and wishing you well this holiday.


Me: 48 H: 50 - Married 21 - 3-S: 29,19,19 2-D: 27,26
BD: 08/2015 - D filed & OW disc: 09/2015

"Surrender to What Is, Let Go of What Was, Have Faith in What Will Be." -S Ricotti
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Hey huddy

I am thinking of you today to take care my friend

Ghost


Me:48 W 41
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2 D 18 & 4
2 S 17 & 13
Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation
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Thanks for everybody's good wishes. Despite my vest efforts, I can't keep away! So, Merry Christmas to you all as well.

W came over on Christmas Day with the rest of the family and spent eight hours. We all had a meal and general chit chat. W seems really interested in my flat as every time she comes here, she queries things about it. She re-arranged my washing that was drying off on the airer ('I don't want you looking like a tramp' - no need to worry, I can use an iron!) then cooked the majority of the meal.

Kids stayed over on Boxing Day night and when W dropped them off, she sneaked out of the door without saying anything. That's unusual as she has been saying goodbye etc. Don't know if she was upset about something, but she seemed OK when she came to pick the kids up today and stayed for ten minutes talking, asking how we can arrange the kids over the next few days.

So, I suppose this is me thinking out loud or asking for somebody like sandi2 to tell me what's going on, but I don't know if this is part of a healing process? When I mention things like Christmas Day to my friends they just don't understand why somebody who says they don't want to be with you, would want to spend Christmas Day with me. To be honest, neither do I. Don't get me wrong, it's nice to have her around, but the hurt is still there right now. I don't want to slip in to 'friends'.


M 45 W 52
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Hi Huddy. I'll look forward to Sandis answer. My W stayed x as eve and Xmas day until 6pm. I got hugs and kisses and load of talk of the good old days.

My take is they do miss us but at the moment they have decided they are better off without us.

Seems strange but is it stranger than her living in a council halfway house ???

Keep on as you are and let W live her life. What will be , will be. Your becoming a man only a fool would leave so that makes W a ????

Take care mate. Rd

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Hey Rd

Hands across the Irish sea bud!

Let's hope 2016 is a whoooooole lot better!


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Sometimes you just can't figure out crazy! Some W's want to have some sort of normalization by hanging on to family traditions.

Hope next year will be much better for you, Huddy.


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
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Thanks sandi2!

I decided I needed some new clothes, so, off I went to the shops to kit myself out. I went on the bus, as I don't have access to a car anymore (despite my W retaining me on her car insurance!). Whilst on the way, W called to tell me something about one of our cats. I listened and validated, but to be honest, it wasn't important.

She texted me a couple of hours later about the same problem. I mentioned that I would have to wait until I got home to sort the problem out. She seemed irked that I was at our favourite shopping centre without her, and her tone changed.

She called later to tell me about her finances and mobile phone problems. Again, I validated and told her I'd pick up our D to go to see Star Wars tomorrow. Mood had changed again and she was talking to me about childcare arrangements for the rest of the week.

It's all quite odd. Despite my efforts at getting her to feel loss, she can't seem to let a day go by without calling, messaging or visiting me.


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Same for me Huddy. I try to retain normalization, but then my WW will hit me up with a text. I sometimes wish she would just disappear so I didn't have to get those reminders. Mostly my W only texts to check on D2, and it almost always drives me nuts when she calls my by my first name. I hate that.


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Hi Nate

I don't hate it, I just don't understand it. My W effectively spends from April to December trying to get rid of me; this is achieved and then W can't seem to stay away. This is the difficult bit I just can't get my head around.

If it was me, I would want to not see that other person again, unless it was about the kids. If this is a healing process, then good, but I don't want W to think that this is a cosy 'friends' relationship, because, that's not what I want.


M 45 W 52
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BD 6 April 2015
Not living together 4 Dec 2015
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