I am glad you are hopeful, and I am glad he is willing to try. But I really hope you slow way, way, way down. Now it is more important than ever to focus on yourself!
You had problems that need to be addressed. Start with you!
I am hopeful for you.
Me: 42 H: 45 M: 18 yrs T: 20 yrs D: 17 D: 15 S: 12 I kicked him out 8/21/15 I will DB until March 21st 2017, that is it!
Hi Tam, I agree with other posters. I would slow right down here. Please don't take him back from a place of - I'm just desperate to have you back!!
Have a think about your own non-negotiables here. Normally for people, these include absolute NC with OP (and being willing to send a letter to this effect), full transparency and access to passwords, plus MC to explore the 'pre-existing conditions' that paved the way for the infidelity.
Do you think he truly appreciates the impact of his behaviour on your R and is he willing to do whatever it takes to try and rebuild things?
Take care and keep posting my friend..x
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
"I talked to him last night. He said he ended it it with the ow and wants to make it work with us so I'm hopeful!"
NEVER take this at face value. There must have been a reason why he ended it with the OW. If he doesn't resolve his issues of why he left in the first place, he'll do it to you again.
What did he say he would DO to work things out with you? C is a big thing. Actions speak louder than words.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Tam, Then be strong and detach. Have the courage to do what you plan to do. As you put into actions those plans, you will find increase respect and confidence in your self.
It's been horrible. We were talking and seeing each other again then he said his feelings just aren't there anymore and he's back with the OW. I've lost 20 lbs. Just a mess. I've been reading self help books self help tapes like crazy. Is this normal or should I give up and realize he's over me??
Last edited by Tamjakr; 12/23/1509:43 PM.
T-20 yrs M- 7yrs Me-46 XH- 44 S15, S21 1yr separation and divorce, my decision-07 1yr separation, my decision-2012 His PA started Aug 2016 I moved out Sept/16 He's been with OW ever since
And yes I definitely have crashed hard. For one since I am divorced I wasn't sure this is the right place for me but I want him back (not sure why) and we've been together 20 yrs. first xmas without him since 1996. Plus I haven't posted because I've done All the wrong things!! I know I need to quit beating myself up but I'm ready to be strong already!! I wanna shake myself silly!
T-20 yrs M- 7yrs Me-46 XH- 44 S15, S21 1yr separation and divorce, my decision-07 1yr separation, my decision-2012 His PA started Aug 2016 I moved out Sept/16 He's been with OW ever since
One more thing, he wants "to be friends, my friendship is very important to him" what the heck to I reply to that after all the hurt he's put me through?!
T-20 yrs M- 7yrs Me-46 XH- 44 S15, S21 1yr separation and divorce, my decision-07 1yr separation, my decision-2012 His PA started Aug 2016 I moved out Sept/16 He's been with OW ever since
Merry Christmas Eve, feeling sad, trying to stay positive!
T-20 yrs M- 7yrs Me-46 XH- 44 S15, S21 1yr separation and divorce, my decision-07 1yr separation, my decision-2012 His PA started Aug 2016 I moved out Sept/16 He's been with OW ever since
