NateG79, sorry you here in your sit like me. With the exception of being physically separated, it's like reading my own sit, what you shared is what my WW told me too.
We need to work on ourselves. Listen to what they shared and work on our 180.
It is. In my current sitch, I'm dealing with an OM who is married 10 years, has kids, and a home, and he tells my wife things like He would leave his wife and family for her. As a man, I can't fathom that a father would do that. I don't know if he's just lying to string her along, or if she just makes things up like that to hurt me. I'm terrified by the idea of some other man who broke up his family from an affair being around and influencing my daughter. I'm doing the DB'ing and the coachings, but sometimes it feels like I'm not fighting enough for my family although there's nothing else I can do.
Me:36 W: 27 D2 T10 M:2.5 Filed D 1/14/16 BD: Sep 15 A Discovered: 11/17/15 She moves out 11/19/15
NateG79, I get you. We focus on OM (that sitch) and spin out of control.. fixated. But what the vets share is true we have to find a way to stop it (stop those thoughts.. I too trying to find what works best for me). Be the best dad you can for your D (IMHO, your D sounds too young to be influence.. be her rock).
I'm doing the DB'ing and the coachings, but sometimes it feels like I'm not fighting enough for my family although there's nothing else I can do.
DBing is a different kind of fighting for your family. Even when you feel you are doing nothing........you are fighting for what is right and true. DBing is counterintuitive.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
We hosted our holiday party with friends over the weekend. It kills me to know W is not with me that we are just co-parenting and pretending to be a couple.
During the party, I would actually find myself thinking, what if these people knew what was going on? Would they feel sorry for her.. kids.. me..? Would they even care?
Having trouble controlling my thoughts. It's raining and cold outside. Earlier this year, when the weather was raining and cold, I saw a text between WW and OM about meeting up to "cuddle". Back then I was able to blow it off but now.. I can't! I can't get that text out of my head!
Another of the dangers of snooping. I have dozens and dozens of these text messages. DO NOT SNOOP!
I know it's hard not to and you may have already stopped but "what has been seen can never be unseen"
Me 40 WW 41 D 4 S 12 S 14 BD 6.16.2015 W stopped wearing ring 9.4.15 W Filed Divorce 9.14.15 My ring off 11.15.15 D finalized 12.18.15 WXW (wayward X wife) moved out 1.28.16 got her own place
so true. Snooping does not help anyone. Wish I could electric shock that junk out of my mind. I have limited brain power and memory space to begin with so this is taking up unwanted time/energy.
Christmas was manageable but I still know she is talking with OM; there is nothing I can do.
My New Year's resolution is to let her go and GAL. I am taking the kids on a short road trip with other family friends to celebrate the New Year. W is not coming along because she said she does not want to be with me but the last several days we have been glued to the hip.. doing stuff so my speculation is she has other plans (plans that do not include me and the kids). That's ok because I am learning to let go. I no longer want to be with a woman who treats me like sh#!. I deserve better, I deserve someone who will appreciate me for who I am (life is too short to wait around).
W just text asking me for my AppleID. She wants to switch the family iPad AppleID from her to me because the FaceTime revealed her logs when she was FaceTiming OM (from her phone). She is upset at me for not responding to her text within 2 minutes.. my phone was in my office and I stepped out to discuss work related stuff with co-worker.
This weekend she established her own mobile carrier account (at least I don't have to pay for her A). =)
