Oh I am so happy that you are joining us focus22! This is going to be a real shin dig! Don't know how that translates into the Queen's English but it means it will be a lot of fun. I will be so happy to say goodbye to this year of Satan's fury but next year is going to be much better for all of us. We are all going to re-invent ourselves into a much more interesting, happy, healthy and attractive person. Love you all and can't wait for the party. Who else is coming???????
M:53 W:47 M:15 years. S:18 S's: 30 & 28 from previous marriage. BD: 3/14 Divorced January 17.
Now Shotgun I just realised that Christmas might be a bit pushing for me, so how about New Year? So we can all say bye to a not so good 2015 but welcoming a better 2016.
Thought of you today. I hate classical music but for the last 3 days I have been listening to it! A new thing for me and it's not too bad!
Rouky this is what is amazing about you. You have been through a couple of the worst days of your life but you still come here to check on me. I cannot put into words what that means. I know other people see this as well and are so inspired. There is something much better in store for you because you are such a good person.
I have had the best Christmas season this year and have celebrated in a way that I never have before. While it has been a tough year I have also learned just how special my circle of friends is. People who have reached out to me and have picked me up when I didn't even know that I needed it. People who put their reputation on the line to get me in a place where my medical needs would be met. My life is indeed very blessed!
I am feeling better these days and I wish that all of us here could say the same thing. This process is hard but we must all travel through it. I ran into an old musician friend at a bar in town last night and we hope to rekindle some jam sessions that we once had. I have found some really nice ladies to dote over, a couple of them being at work, which is fulfilling my need to take care of a woman. Thanks to my therapist I am keeping it in the right place and being very careful to protect everyone's hearts in the process. I do however relish in the role of caring for women!
God bless you all in this season of giving and thank you all for what you have given to me which is support and love. This too shall pass and we will receive many blessings to our lives. Perhaps all of this is to help us better appreciate the kindness that we encounter in our travels. Here is to all of the people at DBing!
M:53 W:47 M:15 years. S:18 S's: 30 & 28 from previous marriage. BD: 3/14 Divorced January 17.
Rouky I was so amazed at your strength that I didn't address the thoughts in your post! I am so excited that you are listening to classical music. It is a more complex expression of emotion but for me is a more fulfilling one. I would suggest to you to go see Beethoven's Ninth Symphony played live. It is for me the easiest to connect with as the movements take me to all of the most powerful emotional moments in my live. The movie Immortal Beloved does a very good job of explaining the depth of the composer's pain when he expressed it musically. There is a scene in it in which the second movement is played in conjunction with an episode from Beethoven's youth that gave me a lot of clarity about my childhood. Even to the extent of the child running through the field and lying in the water to look at the skies. Even through all of his pain and mine there is greater glory that will bless our lives and give us peace. The Ode to Joy at the end of the movie will take you to a place that you may never have been but going forward will always come to mind in the best moments of your life. The music is indeed the voice of our creator and the gift of live that he has given us. Once we can see that with clarity we will have the strength to face whatever comes our way.
Just a little suggestion to help you deal with the pain of this process and although your tears will seem unending you will feel healed in the end of this movie. I love you and hope that you find peace and enjoy the Hollidays!
M:53 W:47 M:15 years. S:18 S's: 30 & 28 from previous marriage. BD: 3/14 Divorced January 17.
Thank you for that Shotgun, I'll look I to seeing it live. It's about time that I do something out of my comfort zone :-). You are a charmer :-). I'm glad that you are starting to dot over some ladies. You are on the mend.
My casual date went strange. When I went to me this person for the 2nd time, it didn't feel right, so I have been honest with him and said I can't give him what he wants (a long term relationship), then he started to send me a huge amount of texts. I blocked him but he found another way and I have once more been bombarded by texts and calls. Normally I'd be pleased to get such attention but it scares me. So I know I'm not ready for a relationship. On the other hand I do like talking to you and see how you are, so I guess I might have a slight crush on you
Enjoy your holidays and look after yourself and your son :-)
Oh Rouky I have more than a crush on you! You are my partner in crime! I'm sorry to hear about your stalker. Your instincts are good so trust them. Your safety has to be your top priority. Sadly women have to be very careful. Don't give up on the idea of dating as decent guys will be patient and recognize the situation that you are in and the pain you are going through. The right guy will take care of you and will give you the time and space that you require.
Some day I will make it back to the UK and we are going to have the biggest party that country has ever seen. Have a great Christmas all and let me know how Santa was to you!
M:53 W:47 M:15 years. S:18 S's: 30 & 28 from previous marriage. BD: 3/14 Divorced January 17.
Hello to you all and Merry Christmas. There will be no snow here for it but the weather outside is beautiful! Each day since December 22 we gain two minutes of daylight at my location each day. I intend to look at this as two more minutes closer to a new Spring and a new more fulfilling and peaceful life. All of the hard work in counseling and DB has began to create a new me and returned the great parts of me that I gave up for my marriage. It is depressing to think about the first Christmas as a broken family but it is also another step through the pain that will take me to healing and health. I have kind of taken this day to rest and to grieve a little but I think that I have earned it. I did go to the gym and had a fantastic workout. Pretty sore but getting stronger each day. Growing my hair out and wearing my cowboy boots these days as my wife hated both of those things! I am getting back to me and the way that I like to look and to live. Making a few new friends and reconnecting with others. Plenty of single ladies have shown interest and I am trying to navigate being in the dating scene again. It is very awkward but kind of fun at the same time. More members of wife's family have reached out to me recently and have been very kind. They are encouraging me to hang on and to not give up on the marriage but I just don't know what my wife could do to convince me to try it again. A lot of water has flown under the bridge and she still has all of the rubbish in her life. (I love the term rubbish and use it in honor of my friend Rouky!) I can't imagine that she would give up the alcohol and the partying and hanging with the unsavory people that she has chosen to include in her life. I now recognize that that was a part of our marriage that I hated but tolerated to try to keep the peace. Praying for everyone so unfortunate to be here but thankful to have you all. God Bless!
M:53 W:47 M:15 years. S:18 S's: 30 & 28 from previous marriage. BD: 3/14 Divorced January 17.
At one point everyone realises that partying has to come to an end. At the moment your W has found her new youth ( a bit like me and I'm enjoying it), but at one time she'll realise is it all my life is about.
I hope you have great day with your boy and I wish you a Merry Christmas. Keeping you in my prayer and don't know how I can still stand up and get on with my life without your support. You are a true friend. God bless you :-)
Ancaire I have missed you! I hope you had a fantastic Christmas and have many blessings in the New Year. We have had an amazing year and have learned so much about ourselves. Here's to us and to surviving!
M:53 W:47 M:15 years. S:18 S's: 30 & 28 from previous marriage. BD: 3/14 Divorced January 17.
