We are now D, so the offer is no longer on the table for her!
At the moment, you never know in life! I have a friend who has reconnected with his W1 after 15 years.
I shall pray for delectable stuff for you, you deserve it. If your partner won't swapsy then move on.
My aged P said " your mum and I still tickle each others fancies" they were in their eighties at the time. Sadly in their ninties now and mum has dementia so fancies have been parked. Always wondered where you find your fancy to tickle. You already know. It is that which will keep you rocking on.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
You are very fun to talk to V. I never understand women (or men) who are uptight about sex.
If you are made to feel perverted, monstrous, and repulsive, neglected and rejected for years, and ultimately abandoned and shunned because of your desires, it might feel a bit different.
Be careful of assuming that a high drive makes you like a guy. Maybe so. But I haven't met a woman that is wired like I am either. It's possible I suppose. I hope so. But the desire for frequent sex doesn't necessarily match the underlying motivations, outlooks, or why it is so critical.
Anyway, to the question at hand...I wouldn't want to have sex with anyone but a committed life partner. It is too important and intimate for me to share with anyone else. And anyone that could have more casual sex and look at is as simply physical stimulation I don't know that I could trust with my intimate self because they wouldn't understand the value of what I was giving.
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
Zues, I think also that my definition of "high drive" is relative to my H's. I have been with him and only him for 26 years. I would be happy with 2x per week, H thinks that is very high. He is on a once per 2-3 weeks cycle. So maybe my "high drive" is really average, but I am comparing myself to someone with a low drive.
I feel like I am more like a man because I think about it all the time, and want it all the time. However, if I was with someone who was giving it to me on a regular basis, maybe I wouldn't be thinking about it as much. Maybe I'd even turn it down sometimes. I don't know, I have never been in a position of having my frequency needs met. Quality is great, not complaining there. But quantity is very frustrating. Always, except maybe for the first 2-3 years of dating.
We were in a situation where my W gave it to me whenever I wanted it. But she usually didn't want it. And then at some point she seemed to never want it. So in order to quit putting pressure on her to have it so much, I masturbated a lot. She got mad at me for doing that.
I really think she liked having affairs because she could control every aspect of it and it was always exciting/interesting because it was never a commitment, was always limited by time and intensified by secrecy and the forbidden nature of it.
I am sorrry tl2. I think for my sitch my H's low sex drive saved me from him actually turning his EA into a PA. He told me that when he told OW that I questioned him if it had turned physical that she actually laughed. What kind of woman would laugh at that? If I was truly a "friend" to someone and their W had that concern I would be devastated and ashamed of myself and she'd be getting a sincere apology and call from me with assurances that I wasn't touching her H. I think she was waiting for my H to make the first move and she would have been all over him. Who knows what is in these waywards minds, but it is beyond selfish.
Zues, I certainly hope it wasn't you who was made to feel perverted for his desires. I am sorry if it was, and want you to know that I am sure there is a very lucky woman out there who will someday find her way into your life. You are one of my favorite posters here. I'll be thinking about you tomorrow and sending prayers and good thoughts for your custody hearing.
