So it looks like I'm back here

[Cherry]

It's not really that I'm shrugging it off and saying well I don't need him.
Essentially, right now doing everything myself, so it's not that I NEED him.. However I WANT him, because I love him and I can't imagine my life without him.

But there is a huge difference, feeling I need him would be needing him for everything, unable to do anything without him. I do want him, of course, if I was even capable of just shrugging him off I would have done it the first time.

[Cherry]

So he's given his mom the "I just don't love her" speech.
My god this hurts, it is last year all over. I really wanna go. I want to pack up my things with the rest of my dignity and I want to go. How dare he do this to be again.

I hate him. I truly hate him

[Fogg]

Sorry Cherry, I can see how rough it must be to be repeating the same pain over again. Your anger is justified but please don't let it control you. You know not to believe anything they say and its not about you, but I also realize this about repeating the same hell you already went through. Take some time today to enjoy yourself and get your mind off things for a bit. Hope others can offer you some better guidance. Good luck.

[Cherry]

Thanks fogg, I need to hear this. I feel like running, or going seeing one of my girls, but I don't wanna leave my baby. Right now my baby is my life. All I have.

I'm honestly trying not to let it rule me. But it's difficult

[JksD]

So sorry to hear about your pain. I can still remember how I felt when I heard the variation of 'IDLY', when the X told me that he loved the TP/OW.

Is there any way you can get a sitter for your baby? Without endangering you or baby, you should do whatever it takes to take the edge off the pain. Run? Hot baths?

Or you could just vent away here.

[Sotto]

Hi Sweet Cherry, I'm so sorry to hear this and sorry for how hurt you feel. The pain is horrible I know, particularly second time around when you hoped things were getting back on track - ugh..

So he spoke to his Mum in this way, but not directly to you, but she told you?? I can understand you wanting to leave. I left at BD as you may know. I fled to my parents (initially for the weekend) but ended up never returning to our marital home. I haven't regretted that decision overall, and it did me a lot of good emotionally - but there were downsides too, so I would have a careful think about what you want to do. If he is feeling that way, and you want to stay, you could ask him to leave of course.

Do you think it may be possible there is an OP, or even the original OW, back in the mix again somewhere? Reading about his recent behaviour, I do wonder whether that might be the case?

For now, I think the main thing is to work on steadying yourself, absorbing this new development and start moving forward. What I would say is this needn't be the end of things if that isn't what you want. Your sitch is by no means concluded. What he is saying is purely based on how he is feeling right now. But you guys are married and have a child together, there are plenty of strong ties there. The ultimate outcome of your sitch isn't decided until you have decided what you want to do.

But for now, his heart is turned away from the marriage and that is the reality you'll need to work with at present - horrible I know - but this may change in time...

Take care Sweetie, and keep posting xx

[Vanilla]

Cherry

Sweetheart, this is very hard for you.

Remember 100% of that which they say, and it hasn't been said to you directly. Be prepared and don't leave your home, let reality bite for him if you can.

Go get some L advice for you to protect you and your family.

Hugs

V

[Cherry]

Thank you guys.
I would suspect an a but he's around all the time and he leaves his phone lying around still.
His behaviour isn't quite the same as the last time. And he's still sleeping in the room..
I distanced myself for a while today. And he came to check up on me and asked me what I was doing. Then he made me something to eat, as he was concerned I hadn't ate.

Then the rest of the day, I had little conversation with him again.

I'm lost as to what his plan is. He can't be thinking one minute he doesn't think he loves me anymore and then the next be checking on me or making me food.

Actually spoke to a friend, who told me to breathe not make any decisions as I'm not gonna be thinking logically. It felt good to actually talk to a person who knows me. I've not really confided in anyone as I'm embarrassed and ashamed- stupid I know

[JksD]

Hi Cherry,
Don't make any decisions yet until you get a clearer pic?

Breathing is good. During the early months I didnt realise it but I was literally holding in my breath for a lot of times.

Don't think of what is happening now and maybe just take a mental break to clear your mind? Maybe you'll be able to come up with a better perspective. Or maybe by then there will be new events.

[Cherry]

Yeah I'm trying not too. I get an overwhelming amount of emotion and this time round I think I'm better skilled at dealing with it. The first time round may have been a begging and pleading that fell flat on its face.