Re: LBH w/ a WW trying to save my M (5)

[gs9]

Another moment of WW projecting that I just realized this morning. After I said my half of the conversation was over she said "cheaters never prosper" At the time I chuckled as i walked away. I knew she was just spewing. Today I realize she was again talking about herself. She's been cheating since late May. For some reason she's avoiding giving me her personal and business bank statements. I think she's hiding something there too.
She says to me "cheaters never prosper" yet she is the one cheating in several different arenas. Funny how they do this.

[PigPen]

How are you doing yourself gs9? How's that new truck?

PP

[gs9]

Hiya PP,
New truck is great. Trying to stay focused on what I'm thankful for. God has brought me many blessings. I had a couple down days last week but realized I was just having a pity party.
How are you doing?

Also, need some quick advice. WW didn't come home again last night. She just sent a text that said "Please bring the christmas tree up from the basement this a.m. if you can"

Well D4 and I are running out the door for church and I don't plan to be around later today. Should I make an effort to do this? It's for her but it's also for the kids.

My thought is I will do it but on my time. I don't plan to make special arrangements to do it when she wants it done.

[PigPen]

Great attitude, there are going to be down days no matter what. We can PMA all we want but our biology is still going to take a toll on us from time to time and wear us out in this journey.

I'm still in the fight although transitioning to a new arena, thank you for asking. My W is finally opening up, saying she's interested in finding out the man I've become, and showing interest in me again...all the while vigorously pursuing a D.

It sounds like your attitude with the tree is on point. The thing needs to come up and you're the one that most likely has to do it. So do it, but do it when you have time, not when you've made time to fill your W's request. It's not like you're refusing to help just out of spite, but she doesn't get to dictate your timeline.

[gs9]

PigPen,
That's great to hear your W is transitioning! Even though she is actively pursuing the D. She may still be believing the lie that she needs the D to truly appreciate you. Keep on Keeping on....you're making progress. I wish my wife there. I'm confident God is working on her and I've been praying for well over a year that He would use me to help her heal. I feel He is and this is all part of it.

She needs to hit rock bottom to get the help and healing she needs.

We have a call with the courts in 10 minutes to tell them if we'll be a non-contested D finalizing on 12.18 or if it will move to contested. She still hasn't provided all the documents I've requested and I sent her an email about 45 min ago telling her the several points I'm still not agreeing on.

We'll see what happens.

[gs9]

Well the call went ok. There are several points we do not agree on so the family court facilitator (FCF) said we would need to cxl our hearing for 12.18 and schedule a 2 hour contested hearing which the earliest would probably be late spring. WW asked multiple times that if we could come to agreement today and file all our paperwork tomorrow would it be possible to keep the 18th hearing date. The FCF said it would be. She even said if we don't we should continue to negotiate because if we had a full agreement soon they could still probably squeeze us in somewhere because it would only be a 15 min meeting rather than a 2hr -full day process. But we would still lose the 18th hearing date.

The WW's L did our child support calculation based on my 2015 real estate commissions + my 2016 salary and my WW's decreased 2016 salary. The FCF told us that if it went in front of a judge the judge would use the last 12 months income and take into account that this is the first year I've made significant income in real estate. WW agreed to at least look at the calculation based on last 12 months income.

I'm not sure what I should hope for. Should I hope for her to agree to my terms and proceed with the D being finalized on the 18th or should I hope for a longer drawn out process?

I don't know

What I do know is My heart is tired. It's been beaten, bruised, abused, taken for granted, hated, torn, stomped on.........

My spirit knows. I want what God wants. God will be done and His plan is better than I could ever imagine.

I will keep DBing. I will keep fighting on for this M. I will not purposely delay the D but I won't enable it either. She can do the heavy lifting. I will not give in to her demands just to make sure the process goes quicker and smoother. I will not help her proceed. I will not help her move out. I will not help her.

I will be the best Man, Father and gs9 I can be

[vise82]

Hey GS9,

Good for you keep it up

[dday]

Good luck gs9! I am not far behind you, I'm afraid. Keep DBing, I think it is the best we can do. I'm with you, and cheering for you. Let go and let God. You're right, his plans are better than ours!

Wishing you the best

[gs9]

Really fighting to get a PMA. I listened to a podcast this morning that referenced several times that our emotions are a choice. We choose to allow ourselves to be depressed, scared, angry, etc..... often these emotions come up on us but what we do with them or if we dwell in them is completely our choice.

[gs9]

WW is crying filling out divorce paperwork. I know God is working on her heart.

We are having final negotiations for the D. Praying for wisdom, guidance and God's will