So it looks like I'm back here

[sandi2]

Hey TO324, good to hear from you. Miss you posting. Hope all is well.

Sorry for hijack, Cherry.

[T384]

Hi Sandi!!!

I've been lurking around occasionally but grad school and life has kept me busy. Things are good over here. I hope things are well with you! Happy Thanksgiving

[Cherry]

Yeah true, that sounds like a good idea.. I just worry my actions are gonna posh him further

[Sotto]

Cherry, don't let fear hold you back....change it up a little and see what works.

TO, nice to see you posting...Cherry, you might find it useful to read TO's thread too.

xx

[Cherry]

Yeah I think I will have a look..

I just can't understand why we are travelling down the same path again.. Still I shall take wise advise and switch it up a gear. Taking even more control of my life..

Today, I feel I am a woman he would be an absolute IDIOT to loose!! And I hope I portray this

[T384]

H and I went through a stage shortly after we decided to work on our M. We hadn't invested time in counseling and we're both falling back in old habits. I also hadn't forgiven him (I thought I had). MC helped me see how my actions came across to him even though at the time I didn't see myself as doing anything wrong.

I remember train telling me to get dressed up and go out. I did exactly that. Gave H a heads up for the kids went and got my hair done then left to go out. He ended up meeting me out.

Don't let fear drive your decisions. No one thing is going to make or break anything. I had a hard time letting go of how I calculated H perceiving my every move. By no means do I mean be rude ... DB 101. Calm cool collected friendly, the person only a fool would leave. Someone that's approachable and fun. But also someone that has a lot going for them and isn't desperate.

I know that's a lot of things. The drinks have been flowing here since AM so please excuse my rambling

[Cherry]

T0324 thank you for that! It honestly really helps..
I think your right, I know although I love him- I am hurt. And I know he feels the guilt immensely.

Right now, I don't think he will go to MC. Last night we had a kiss, he kissed back. We had sex. Then he was silent.
Trying not to overthink

[Cherry]

Spent a day out with baby. Feeling anxiety still when out, it's hard not to. I need to get to that level of seeing there's a light at the end of the tunnel either way.

[Cherry]

So last night, we go out, h initiated this, when I asked him if he was sure he was like "but we always go out" as if he couldn't understand why a date wouldn't be on the cards.
I got dressed up, smart casual- put my louboutins on! Tried to keep upbeat and cheery. I thought the best way to approach things was to avoid all r talk. He wasn't overly cheery, but talked through how work is really stressful and told me about more pressure being put on him.

[Fogg]

When he was talking about work what did you say back to him? Looks like a good time to validate how stressed out he feels.

Keep taking care of Cherry and working on her happiness. How's the baby doing btw?

Also, there's always light at the end of the tunnel. I know that anxiety is hard to deal with but try not to dwell in it, keep busy.