This Halloween will be like the ones in the past. I will be taking the kids around to get candy and my W will be at home with her mother to hand out candy.
MIL will also be having dinner with us. I see no point changing anything as this is my house too. I am not going to leave just because my MIL will be visiting. If my W wanted to take the kids some where else, I would have to figure something out. With no S agreement its a case by case basis on who takes the kids where.
The only difference this year is my FIL wont be there as he will be away, he used to go around with me and the kids.
Me late 30's W mid 30's T 15, M 10 S4, S7 ILYBNILWY June 2015 In house S July 2015 W rings off Oct 2015 My ring off Feb 2015 Separate houses June 2016
The U.S. Thanksgiving is right around the corner. How are you managing the holiday? I am going to my sisters where 15-20 relatives and friends will gather. I am bringing sweet potato casserole, a relish tray and pecan pie bread pudding.
Traditionally the Saturday after Thanksgiving H's family gathered at our house. It makes me very sad that this won't happen. I keep in touch with them but I will miss holidays with them very much. In order to keep busy that day my sister and brother-in-law are coming over to help me with an outside landscaping project. My outdoors to-do list is almost done!
My niece, who is living with me, has encouraged me to decorate for Christmas and have a party. So, I am going to bring out some of my favorite things. And then in mid-December I'm going to host a Christmas Tea for my girlfriends, sisters and mom.
Christmas Eve and Christmas Day are going to be hard. There is no way around it. I think I'm going to pack up my cat and go to my mom's for a few days. Then on the 27th my sisters and I leave for 5 nights in Nashville. Woo Hoo!
Trying to make the best of things.
Me53 H48 M 13 No children together BDMay '15 PA June '15 H moves out,files 8/15 wants "quick divorce" but does nothing Me sending proposal 12/15, court dates upcoming
I am fortunate in that my H is still "here" and at least going through the motions of being a family. Actually improving, so there is hope. Thanksgiving is always at the IL's house and they absolutely hate me, this is the first year that it is out in the open though. I believe they will be civil and there will be H's entire extended family there, who knows what they have all heard about me, I am actually feeling sick just thinking about it. I plan to put on my biggest smile, show appropriate interest and small talk with everyone. A friend of mine lives nearby so I will find some time the following day to visit with her. I am planning to not drink at all in the event things get rough and I need to grab my kids and make an escape. I plan to not discuss my M problems with anyone during the holiday, no matter what, I will keep things light and breezy.
One thing I am dreading, is that ever since BD every time H sees his mother he gives her a big kiss on the lips and says "I love you Mom" - 2 things I haven't gotten. I know a love for a mother is not the same as the love for a wife, but it makes me feel so diminished when he does this. He also does this with the dog. I know, I am jealous of the dog and his mom. That is how low I am. Another thing is that if he feels like me or the kids are not listening or responding quickly enough to his parents he will correct us in a very condescending tone "Grandpa is talking!" Or "W, pay attention to my father!" it is very uncomfortable. I am NOT ignoring his father, and neither are the kids, its like H is hyper vigilant and expecting us all to jump whenever his father says a word. It is really tense. And weird to be honest.
Ugh, maybe I will be better off if I get the flu and can't make it.
Can the whole Holiday thing just be over now? I've made some plans but I'm just not into it. Add to that the fact that it looks like I will be negotiating my divorce next month, it just stinks.
Me53 H48 M 13 No children together BDMay '15 PA June '15 H moves out,files 8/15 wants "quick divorce" but does nothing Me sending proposal 12/15, court dates upcoming
I am with you Becky. Thanksgiving won't be so bad because I am going to my parents, but have no plans for Xmas yet and am dreading it. I just find myself getting super emotional lately.
H's L sent over a settlement proposal to my L today. Just made me boil looking at the numbers. My L said we can delay until after the holidays, which I agreed to. I don't want to deal with it all now since the added emotions with the holiday might make it hard to stay rational. I am sure that will not make H happy, but I need to start thinking more of what is best for me.
The whole thing just makes me sick.
I have also been debating what to do with inlaws. I opted to do the nice thing and put a card for Thanksgiving in the mail today. Have not heard one word from them since I filed, which I find hurtful. I have known these people for 14 years. We were not close, but we were friendly.
Me: 42 H: 40 M: 12 H moved out - 8/2015 I filed - 8/2015
I am thinking of talking myself and all 5 kids away to an all inclusive tropical destination. My kids are ages 18 - 24. Any suggestions re location? We want hot on the water swim up bars.
I hate that my negotiation is going to start during the holidays but it can't be helped. That is unless H delay I do think this time of year makes everything more emotional.
I love my in laws. Right now they like me way better than H.
Me53 H48 M 13 No children together BDMay '15 PA June '15 H moves out,files 8/15 wants "quick divorce" but does nothing Me sending proposal 12/15, court dates upcoming
Me53 H48 M 13 No children together BDMay '15 PA June '15 H moves out,files 8/15 wants "quick divorce" but does nothing Me sending proposal 12/15, court dates upcoming
LOL So I'm 2+weeks out from finding out my wife had an affair.. my daughter is coming home from college tonight, we're having thanksgiving here thursday, and then Friendsgiving saturday.. then in 2 weeks my father in law will be here for 6 weeks from Seattle... Not to mention I'M STILL DEALING WITH THE FACT MY WIFE SLEPT WITH ANOTHER MAN.. LOL
I'm a christmas loving fool I love the holidays.. I'm dead in side It kills me that she blew me up and now she's blown the holidays up for me too LOL Well I guess this year out the past 10 years of not getting a present (or even a f*king candy cane lol) won't matter as much so maybe she did me a favor? NOPE!!! I'm all f'd up lol what a joke.
Ktfo - I know the feeling, it is mental anguish and torture. I haven't read your whole story but sounds like your Wnis still with you and wants to work on marriage? Be thankful for that. I had a horrible night thinking of H crawling into bed with OW (which is what he did) not only has my H slept with OW, he chose her and left me behind, that is the ultimate form of rejection
It kills me that she blew me up and now she's blown the holidays up for me too LOL Well I guess this year out the past 10 years of not getting a present (or even a f*king candy cane lol) won't matter as much so maybe she did me a favor? NOPE!!! I'm all f'd up lol what a joke.