Need Help

[AU Bob]

No
I don't give her money for anything. I am still living in the family home, she is still paying half the mortgage. I have D17 living with me, WW is living with family friend, I don't think she (friend) has any idea about the OM, I have not spoken to the friend since the split, I can only wonder what WW has told her.
WW has started to come get D17 for the last few weekends. They spent last weekend at a farm stay, I think she has latched on to the young one because she is too young to fully understand what her mother is doing. The older two have told her they don't respect her and have questioned her about the OM a few times now, asking her to denie anything's going on she says there is not and never will be, her actions are not fooling them. Although they still talk to her!
She has come to the house a number of times now, I don't really know what I should do as to letting her in should I just tell her not to come in and just wait outside to get my daughter?
I think she is happy for two reasons that my daughter is living with me at our (my)house. 1. because it frees her up and she dose not have the responsibility of her day to day. and 2. because living at our friends house and D not being there no one really knows what she is up to and what she dose. we are all in the dark as to where she is.
So should I let her in the house?

[mvgfwd2]

Does she have a key to the house? Change the locks if she does. She's a visitor like any other now.

As far as letting her in after she knocks that is up to you. If she is disrespectful, hell no.

[Cristy]

Hi Bob,

I'm glad you ordered the book. Will it be arriving soon? In the meantime, you can read the first chapters of all of Michele's books on this website. Go to the home page and click on "sample Michele's books" All of Cadet's links in his welcome post are also enormously helpful.

You may want to consider checking into a calling plan to the US. We have many clients calling from your part of the world. I highly recommend taking of advantage of the online special for Telephone Coaching. I'm sure we can find a way to make the logistics work for you.

Cristy
Resource Coordinator
The Divorce Busting Center
303-444-7004

[AU Bob]

Really starting to struggle with getting out. Most of the friends I have are women. They have offered to go for dinner see a movie etc, but I know one on one is not good. It really sux that WW, WAS can do it, and the one left behind has to be a saint, I mean six months of not having female company is a drag, I mean I wish she was still here and I was doing stuff with her but she is gone and who knows if we will ever R. They really seem to have it all while they are FREE, and we just have to suffer, I wonder if the ones that do ever R understand the sacrifice their LBS has had to endure?

[mvgfwd2]

Your in a limbo state, a real bummer. I haven't experienced that but others on here have and may be able to help you through it. Best I can recall someone saying is you will stay in limbo until your cause a change. Like not inviting to the birthday party. That's a new type of AUBob. Maybe I was wrong about changing your status on FB. Possibly de-friending her and changing your status to "Separated". It shows you moving on with your life and dropping the connection to the past that is gone.

[AU Bob]

Yes I struggle with the status thing, not sure what to do? one of those dammed if you do dammed if you don't things, witch way to turn?

[AU Bob]

Just watched Esther Perel on infidelity. some good info on understanding this.

[AU Bob]

Anyone else have an opinion on the facebook status change?

[vise82]

Hey au bob,

I wouldn't change the facebook status, your still married. I wouldn't even go on facebook anymore. But that's what I would do.

[AU Bob]

Yes Vice82. I think your right. when I see her posting pictures of her NEW self, it makes me anxious again. I have started to ween myself off it a bit now. its a bit damaging is it not.