Hello again everyone. It's been 7 months since BD, about 6 months separated. I really don't have much new to report. Just continuing on in my own train of life. Taking things day by day and enjoying my time with my daughters, my family, and my friends (old and new).
I still come on and read some of your stories, and i thought I'd leave these thoughts for those that haven't been on this path this long.
Looking back, when I started this, I felt like my STBX was taking everything from me. But now I realize that I gave it all to her: my happiness, my sense of pride, my dignity, my self-worth. Everything. Willingly.
But now that I have it all back, I realize now that I'm ok. I miss her. I miss us. But in the place of where she was, there's lots of different things and people that are providing me with the things I need to be and stay happy.
You guys all got this. Don't give your S more of you than they deserve.
Just thought I would come on and let you all know that the divorce was finalized 11/9. Never had to go in to court. Just signed some paperwork and let the lawyers handle it. A part of me will probably always be sad about the end of my marriage, but it needed to be torn down to build something greater.
The amount of support I received while I was here was incredible, and I cant imagine my life being in a better place had I not stumbled upon this place. The tools I gathered in repairing and rebuilding my life have been invaluable. I FEEL like a completely different person than the one who joined here 6 months ago.
To my ex-wife that may or may not be reading this: I am sorry that you couldnt find it within yourself to be happy while you were with me. I truly hope that you can find your source of happiness and break the destructive pattern. Im sorry that I didnt have the tools to be the husband that I should have been. Going through this process has taught me an incredible amount about how to be a spouse, a father, a friend, and a man; I will continue to apply the lessons learned from this experience as I move forward with my life. I cherish the time we spent together, and while I wish the ending had played out differently, I dont regret the story. Thank you for being in my life and good luck going forward.
That is so sad to hear about, as it give a reality to my situation. That yes, this may be the that path I am taken down. Seeing you going down that path and you are still able to keep your head high is encouraging. If one man can do it then so can another.
Gook luck with the rest of your life.
Me late 30's W mid 30's T 15, M 10 S4, S7 ILYBNILWY June 2015 In house S July 2015 W rings off Oct 2015 My ring off Feb 2015 Separate houses June 2016
Matt, I am so sorry for your D, but happy that you are finding some peace and strength in moving forward. You were such a huge help to me in my early days when I found this forum, you literally peeled me off the floor a few times and were one of the first DB'ers to "come to my rescue." For that I will always be grateful to you, and I wish you all the best that life has in store for you. Thank you. Much love, peace, and friendship to you.
Matt, I am glad you stopped by and gave an update. I am sorry about the way things have ended. Hopefully it will all work out for the best in the end. Your wife is a human being like all of us. She has to take her own path right now and you are a good man for letting her go.
As I have written before, your ages, the ages of your children, even the dates of BD, wife moving out--all of it mirrors my sitch. I think my future will turn out much like yours. Hopefully I can walk the walk with has much dignity and grace as you have.
Good luck in your future buddy. My prayers are with you.
Me: 30's W: 30's M: 12yrs EA: Started 3/2015 MC Started: 4/2015 She moved out and served 6/2015 PA: Confirmed 10/5/2015 2 young kids
"If you do not stand for something you will fall for anything."
Matt777, if I may ask, how did she find out about this site? I am worried that my W will find it.
Edit - FWIW she has not been back on the site since the day after she posted here and her posts were deleted. Of course that is with that log-on, which is the only thing in my power to check. Very similar to what my ex did also FTR - Cadet
P.S. - Start a new thread this will lock soon.
Last edited by Cadet; 11/13/1503:17 PM. Reason: message
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
