Keeping the door cracked

[beckyb]

Not feeling very detached today. Thinking a lot about OW and how she has taken my place. I feel like H has it good right now. He is expending no effort or resources toward the D but living happily with her. Someone remind me why I am not pushing to get this settled.

[Ancaire]

You don't believe in D. You love your H. You realize his mind is clouded at the moment. You are patient and loving, as well as determined to really honor your vows. OW is a miserable human being - one day H will see that.

[beckyb]

A thanks for the kind words. Ironically H's 1st wife cheated repeatedly and is still married to her last lover.

I get very discouraged because he is giving up so much for OW. She must hold very strong attraction. I have to remind myself that H is deeply depressed and has experienced a lot of trauma. Truth is he is not capable of being any different without a lot of help. It would be a very long road back. I would probably be better of accepting the one inevitable and moving on. Just can't do it quite yet.

[gonegrl]

Becky, your situation is still pretty young. You have been through so much in such a short time. Be kind to yourself, of course you are still having hard days. As with everyone, it seems like the times when we focus our thoughts on our spouse we have a harder day. What can you do for yourself today?

[beckyb]

Pho, I'm flying home from Seattle today so not much to do. I did get a chair massage in the airport. I definitely need to refocus on the goals.

[gonegrl]

Becky, I am planning my trip to Iceland and also practicing my singing- singing along to Taylor Swift and every song reminds me of my situation so I end up emotional but its good. I just sang along to the acoustic version of Are We out of the Woods and I am crying, so embarrassing. Guess you can't burst into song during the flight.

Maybe you should get on Pinterest and look for some Christmas decorating ideas. I am currently making an awesome christmas wreath out of wine corks. I need to drink 50 more bottles of wine before Christmas though, it takes a lot of corks. So both the drinking and the wreath will keep me busy.

[beckyb]

Drinking and crafting. I like it.

I mostly listen to Christian music these days cause everything else makes me cry. I was watching the CMA's last night and had to turn it off when Little Big Town sang Girl Crush. It will get better some day.

I have plenty to occupy me for the next week include a quick girls trip this weekend to take my mind off things.

[gonegrl]

Becky, the Christian music gets me emotional too. I have had the song "You're a good father" (not sure of the name of it) in my head for about two weeks now and every time the line "You tell me that you're pleased, and that I am never alone" I lose it and sob. My kids think I am crazy. My D says "that has to be a God song because its not about Dad." LOL. She is right, but such a brat.

Glad you are keeping busy. Sorry you have to. I am so looking forward to the day when I can say "wow, I have a light week this week, I can enjoy myself and have quiet downtime." Right now downtime means my mind goes go places that are not helpful.

[beckyb]

Good song and I hear you about the down time.

[beckyb]

I'm off to a short getaway with my sisters. We usually laugh a lot so it will be good.

I'd love to stay home and rest but too much time on my hands in not a good things these days.

Question: How will my husband miss our me and our marriage if he is already living with, and planning a life with, someone else? I know it's possible but very unlikely. I must stay focused on moving ahead.

Have a great weekend everyone.