If you have not starting doing so yet, keep a diary. Courts apparently love them. It will also help you remember everything and keep it in order.
Hi WhyUs, Im glad to see some action in your divorce case.
I would agree with the above, but amend it to say keep a diary for you, keep a journal for court. The journal will be only the facts, no opinions, no feelings. Document all time you spend with the kids, what fun things you did, and anything your WW did to interfere with your rights. Staple receipts as well for documentation. It should look something like this:
Originally Posted By: Journal
"Date. Time. Had custody today starting at 4:00 pm, WW brought kids at 5:52 pm, kids were dirty and had not done homework, WW demanded money for shoes. I took kids to the park and played soccer, then library. Checked out 6 kids books. Bought kids new shoes. Receipt attached. Took kids home, showered the kids and did homework. WW picked up kids at 10:00, two hours late. I sent books with kids, attached the following note requesting WW send the books back with kids. 'WW, Bobby and Sue checked out the following books..... Please make sure they have them when you drop them off Tuesday so I can return them to the library. Thanks, Me' "
She is still wanting the divorce as far as I know. I have not communicated to her directly in 4 months. She is still doing what ever she can to interfere with my relationship with my kids.
Me: 30's W: 30's M: 12yrs EA: Started 3/2015 MC Started: 4/2015 She moved out and served 6/2015 PA: Confirmed 10/5/2015 2 young kids
"If you do not stand for something you will fall for anything."
She is still wanting the divorce as far as I know. I have not communicated to her directly in 4 months. She is still doing what ever she can to interfere with my relationship with my kids.
Can you share some examples of how she is interfering?
1) will not let them come to soccer practice or games when it is her day.--I am the coach.
2) Did not let them trick or treat with me on Halloween. Yet, a person they met that night brought them by my house.
3) Will not let them stay with me when she goes out of town. They stay with her parents or her brother.
4) Does not let me know about anything they are doing such as: doing well in school, having bad day at school, make new friends, etc..
5) Will not let them return my calls timely. Pretends she did not see my call and once she does they are asleep. Has them call the next day. Or will have them call when they are eating dinner or taking a bath--not a good time to call.
6) Tell them they can not invite me places they have been with her when it is my weekend to have them.
Last edited by WhyUs; 11/05/1512:22 PM.
Me: 30's W: 30's M: 12yrs EA: Started 3/2015 MC Started: 4/2015 She moved out and served 6/2015 PA: Confirmed 10/5/2015 2 young kids
"If you do not stand for something you will fall for anything."
1) will not let them come to soccer practice or games when it is her day.--I am the coach.
I would try to talk to her about this. But if she does not budge, there is nothing IMO that you can do. Some people are just small and petty.
2) Did not let them trick or treat with me on Halloween. Yet, a person they met that night brought them by my house.
Time to take your nuts out of her purse. She is doing this and other thing to spite you (IMO) and to rattle your chain. "Reserve" the next kids' time slot for yourself (christmas caroling,...) Get an even distribution of kids' holidays.
3) Will not let them stay with me when she goes out of town. They stay with her parents or her brother.
Again, I think you can have is stated in the separation agreement that you have first dibs on the kids (her also). So if she cannot watch the children, you are the first one asked.
4) Does not let me know about anything they are doing such as: doing well in school, having bad day at school, make new friends, etc..
To be honest, you cannot demand her to tell you that. Sure, it would be civil and nice, but ex spouses are often less than nice. Ask the kids themselves about their day. Anywayz, you asking your W about the kids (IMO) is perceived by her as pressure and attempted control.
5) Will not let them return my calls timely. Pretends she did not see my call and once she does they are asleep. Has them call the next day. Or will have them call when they are eating dinner or taking a bath--not a good time to call.
Water off the ducks back. She is just being a dick about it and it is wrong of her to do that. Again, she just sound mean and petty. I say mirror her behavior.
6) Tell them they can not invite me places they have been with her when it is my weekend to have them.
Dude, there are millions of great places where you can take your kids to. Why would you want them to relive the same experiences. Do some research and take them to new cool places.
Again, from your description it does sound that she is somewhat of a female dog, BUT I do see a controlling streak about you. I understand you, but it is not cool. You really do have to detach. Who gives a flying f where she took your kids. MAke new memories for them that will be just yours. Live that somewhat female doogish ex spuse of yours to herself and try not giving her any attention...
I agree with what you are saying. To clarify, I did not want to take my kids where she took them. My D7 voluntarily told me that her mother told her she could not let me take her somewhere. I could give a rats A$$ where she took them. I just don't like the fact that she told them I can't take them.
I agree that she is not obligated to tell me how the kids are doing. However, a good co-parent would want to ensure the other parent is aware of how the children are doing.
A lot of what she is doing is very petty. It is not really against the temporary custody order either. However, it is very clear that she is not wanting to co-parent at this time.
When we go to court for the permanent hearing the judge will see that she is not providing an environment for the children that is not conducive to co-parenting.
Me: 30's W: 30's M: 12yrs EA: Started 3/2015 MC Started: 4/2015 She moved out and served 6/2015 PA: Confirmed 10/5/2015 2 young kids
"If you do not stand for something you will fall for anything."
there is a very very simple explanation why she is doing stuff that you see her doing.
She is yanking on your chain so you would get into her face so she would have justification in front of the whole wide world that she really did not have another option but to leave you. SHE IS (DESPERATLY) TRYING TO MAKE YOU LIKE A TOTAL DICK.
Do you see it buddy? (this is not a rhetorical question, I honestly would like to know if you see it).
And what is the best way to deal with this type of behavior? Calmness. If she starts yanking your chain, just calmly state that you will not be talked to in this manner and if she does not stop you will walk away. And if she gets into your face, you (without warning) turn and walk away. Just remember, water off a duck's back...
She clearly does not respect you (a common feature) and is also suffering from entitlement. She wants everything and you are the b.stard that is in the way of her happiness.
