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gr8ful3 Offline OP
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Thanks Judy! I think it was a little breakthrough. grin


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Awesome stuff, gr8ful3. Sorry for misinterpreting the male in your life that you were talking about.

Knowing to apply DB philosophy in all strands of life shows a deep understanding, meaning you can feel confident the skillset will come to the fore when you need them most in the future.


- Nobody has ever learnt anything important from happiness and success; problems make us grow
- Consult your plan, not your feelings
- If you haven't set goals, how can you expect to achieve anything?
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gr8ful3 Offline OP
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Avanti,

Yes, I hope it will come to me when I need it. Not sure when that will be as I am currently dark with my H. But at some point we will have to communicate.

Thanks.

Gr8ful


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By posting regularly and reading other's sitch's you'll find they are almost second nature. Why do you think they only apply to your H, you've used them on your S, who's next in your world?

The lady who owns the horse riding school I go to for lessons, almost weekly pulls me to one side and asks for my input on something in her life, it's sort of embarrassing and uplifting all at the same time, as I am no expert.


- Nobody has ever learnt anything important from happiness and success; problems make us grow
- Consult your plan, not your feelings
- If you haven't set goals, how can you expect to achieve anything?
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It's great how these skills spill into new life areas.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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gr8ful3 Offline OP
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Hello DB friends,

I haven't posted for a while because my life has been a bit crazy and my H hasn't had any contact with me for over 2 months. Today, I got an email at work asking me to call him at my convenience. I waited a couple of hours, then called him. What he asked me surprised me so much, I was not prepared for an answer.

My H, who I haven't physically seen in over 9 months has the ba**s to tell me, not ask me, that he was going to buy a house in the city that he has been living in for the past 3 years! I didn't know what to say. He didn't say anything about how we were doing or that he wanted to work on us, he just expects me to go along with this. WHAT IS GOING ON INSIDE HIS HEAD? Is this his way of forcing me to ask for a divorce because he is too much of a coward to do it? Or because he doesn't want to be the bad guy? I don't get it! Why doesn't he ask me for a divorce before trying to buy a house? Am I crazy?

He said he was going to send me an email with the specifics of the documents he needs. Is he so dense that he doesn't understand that we are still married and I will have to sign at closing?

How do I approach this? What do I say to him? I don't think this is a good idea from my side or his side. Does anyone have any words of wisdom? Do I need to get a lawyer involved? Has anyone else been in this situation?

Sorry for the rambling. I really need some guidance! Has anyone else had the same situation? Please send me some suggestions on how I should proceed!

I know I haven't been on the site for a while and I feel guilty asking for help, but l am very confused.


Gr8ful


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Hi Gr8ful,

Not sure where in the world you are, but why does he need your permission or signature to buy a house? Is there a separation agreement? Have all assets been split already?

I'm in Canada and I bought my own home after my first H and I separated, but were not yet divorced. I never needed anything from him as long as I qualified for the mortgage without him.


Di-mond in the rough
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My children S-25 D-23
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H left April Fools Day 2015

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Is he saying to buy it on his own or with you?


- Nobody has ever learnt anything important from happiness and success; problems make us grow
- Consult your plan, not your feelings
- If you haven't set goals, how can you expect to achieve anything?
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gr8ful3 Offline OP
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Avanti,

I don't think he wants to buy it with me as much as he wants to buy it using my financial backing. He hasn't ask me to live with him in this house, just that he is sick of living in an apartment.

Diane45,

I'm in the US so even if he buys a house on his own I'm financially responsible for it if he decides not to pay for it.


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gr8ful3 Offline OP
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Diane45,

No there is no separation agreement and no division of assets.


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