RD Movin on 10

[Pink17]

Hello Sweet RD,

Glad to see that you been all the same just like myself. The craziness continue and our sitches are with insane people.

I will try to update my stuff, but for now, I just want to say hello and say that "Time is the best healer".

Just a note that stands out for me: Maybe your wife is falling in love for a different guy now. You are changing no? Why not to look at this different woman and ask yourself that if this is a kind of woman you want to fall in love?

It's part of our human journey to change, we all change and no doubt... have a butterfly affect.

Love your adventures... later loved one!!!

Give my kisses and hugs to your kiddos!!! Some for you too !!!

Pink

[rd500]

PINK !!!!!! Fantastic to hear from you !! I really hope your doing well. Can't wait for an update on you and the boys. Lots of people been looking for you and hoping you would post.


Really pleased to hear from you and thanks for the input

Take care. Rd xx

[Pink17]

I am picking up my little one from a football game. He plays on JV and is back up for Varsiry. So, busy, busy.

Have been missing you a lot. It's amazing how much you still help me even without communication.

Hey, and what is this with so much flirting RD? Are you going into some mid life crises now?

My kids are doing good. Lots of wounds. My "X" is still very crazy and just leave wounds behind.

My boys do not want him back. They say that he is a Jerk, irresponsable, I'm moral and a little more. It's sad to see what is happening, but it's out of my control. I do what I can.

I will try my best to keep writing often. Time 8s limited, but I just miss you so much. I miss Soto, V, Jim and so. You are all the best.

Love to you sweetie.
Pink

[Sotto]

Pink!!! So pleased to see a post from you!! I've missed you - and RD sorry for the hijack....but, well you know....

Sorry to hear things are still crazy with your XH. Mine filed for D, as has Jim's W and we are at a similar stage, he and I. Hope you'll find time to catch up with our sitches and post some more about your own.

Lovely to see you back here my friend xxxx

(Oh, and good morning to you too lovely RDXX)

[Vanilla]

Crazy WH? WW?

Golly they aRe all over the place.

V

[rd500]

Hi all. Just a bit of journaling.

EXW called me on Monday and started talking generally After a few minutes she said she couldn't understand how she ended up in this mess. She asked me how I was coping and if I was happy how things were

I told her I wasn't ecstatic but doing ok. EXW said she was lost and started to get upset She was talking about her brother and how he has pneumonia but not as bad as I once had it and how the doctors told her I might not recover. I joked that if I hadn't it would have saved her a lot of trouble. EXW answered quite angrily that she was happy to have looked after me and she didn't regret one moment of our life together and wouldn't go back and change it even if she could. She got very upset and asked if I would change things in the past.

I answered that most of it was good She then said she was very sorry for how she acted last year and this year and can't believe some of the things she said to me and didn't mean any of them. She then asked if I thought she needed help.

I would normally ask how she felt but I decide this time to speak my mind. I told her I thought she was depressed and that she was in a deep hole and couldn't get out without help. I told her that I wanted her to be happy and I felt that she wouldn't be if she carried on as she was. I them told her I appreciate I was sounding like I was telling her what to do and EXW cut me off and said she wanted me to tell her what to do as she had no idea why she left her family and sits in her flat wondering if she will ever be happy again She then agreed she was in a hole and couldn't get out but she had stopped digging. I didn't ask what this meant as I felt I had said enough i told EXW I had to go back to work and we left it at that

EXW called yesterday and asked me to make a call re her insurance which I did and now she has called me 5 times to thank me

I think because I accept the M is over and there is no way back , it's ok to try and help her I'm not acting out of self interest and have zero expectations

That's my thoughts for this evening. Thanks for reading

Take care. Rd

[Vanilla]

RD

WW does know how she got herself in this mess, 100% she does. That is the issue, she would rather not know. She would rather be down, confused and unhappy than resolve her issues. That is the way it is.

She is testing you and temp checking. Scattering crumbs. Will you take care of her?

However, she likely is depressed and she is the mother of your children.

However RD, she needs professional help and it's her choice to get it. Not yours to give it.

V

[rd500]

Hi Vanillia. Thanks for posting I agree with all you've said and any help I give her is because I feel it's right to do so.


I've stopped acting as if and now it's for real. I still love her but life is now not together but. apart

Thanks vanilla Take care. Rd. xx

[Sotto]

RD & V.....get yourselves off to bed - it's past your bedtimes!!

RD, that's an interesting talk with your W. For sure, she's thinking and she has regrets. It is interesting that she still doesn't really see how she got herself into this position, and I feel she has yet to accept her part in an adult way. There seems to be a lot of 'lost little girl' in her interactions with you and I think she has a ways to go.

I think your approach now is about right, and I don't think the sitch is by any means hopeless. But I still believe she is pretty lost (tho perhaps a touch less than before) and is presumably continuing with whatever dysfunctional R exists with OM. For those reasons, I would stay your course, carry on with your own life but keep the door open a crack going forwards if you want to.

At some point, if she wants the life she has lost, she will need to embrace the learning needed and get into an adult state, ditch OM and accept her part in this if she wants to have a chance of a future life with RD.

You are doing well RD and I think it's okay to have these little convos with your W as long as you can do that and then leave her to her path, continuing along your own path for now.

Take care and have a lovely Friday xxx

[Huddy]

I'm glad you kinda threw your hand over the side of the boat RD. I don't think you guys are done. I think your W needs help. Could you live with yourself if she asked for help, you refused?

I think she's getting to a stage where she realises what she's done. I don't think she's far away. What would be your answer if she said she wanted you to help her and wanted to mend the M? Please think long and hard about it RD.

Sending you hope!