Deception is WH weakness. Any court will later adjust if you can show he deceived (lied to the court).
A clever L will document, sounds like yours has this covered. Also highlight the cells in the D papers you want to query. Stick to the big stuff ignore if his electricity bill is 60 or 70. Keep to the large important items.
Give way on the teapot and his grandma's wedding earing. Stick to the pension scheme especially.
Is WH sure the figures in box x are correct?
L TO L. My client is unclear of the composition of box 23456, please provide a breakdown. In which box is your clients pension fund?
Can we have a sworn affirmation on that?
Questions.
V
Last edited by Vanilla; 10/13/1502:29 AM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
Walking into the meeting. Thank you all for your advice. I am ready. I am calm. He chose to create two households, he should have to support that choice.
Me:33 H:36 T:13 years M:10 years S4 Separated 05/15 H Filed 06/15
This will just be a quick update from today. My Mom and Sister came over for dinner after the meeting and it is late now and time for bed. (yawn)
Today went better than I expected, even though a final agreement wasn't reached. I didn't think it would be. My L and I have two options we are going to write up and let his party know which path we were going to pursue financially. I am starting to question if trying to get the house we own in my name is in my best interest. I have a lo of thinking to do over the next few weeks.
This was our last meeting with Dr. C. We will be communicating via L from here on out. She pulled me aside before she left and told me that if I didn't have a job she would hire me in an instant. I am very organized and a very well put together woman. H is an idiot. I told her in confidence that I felt the process had been too easy on him so far and she said "honey, I can tell, this is not easy on him and he is struggling". "It is very apparent to all parties that you were the left side of his brain for a long time, he really is lost and is struggling on his own". That made me slightly better but still pissed. She did tell me that she thought I was better off. I would be carrying my husband and my children for the rest of my life. I truly do want a man who will lead his family. There is way more to discuss but that is all for tonight.
It was a 3 hour meeting and I am just whooped. Good night! Once again, thank you for all your support. You make me stand up straighter and keep my chin in the air. xoxo
Me:33 H:36 T:13 years M:10 years S4 Separated 05/15 H Filed 06/15
Don't take too much from what she said one way or the other. After a 3-hour meet, even the best of us get punchy and need to vent. It was probably not a good idea to put herself in that sitch and not recognize that she had needs that might conflict with her clients, but I want you to understand that all counselors are human and develop a bias in our dealings with couples/groups. We try not to let it impact our [here's me using the our as if I'm already one - see how easy it is to slip] work, but we have opinions. She may have seemed too easy on H, but it really isn't about fairness, it is about reading dynamics and recognizing where each client is (why I want nothing to do with couples counseling, as dealing with one client is enough, thank you very much).
Most men rely on their Ws to manage their emotional needs, because the way we socialize masculinity, leaves most of us ill-equiped to manage this ourselves. Unfortunately, that means some crash-and-burn when a WAH not only has difficulty w/ the W, but loses that emotional aide and coach the W has played.
Let the dust settle. Let him work with his issues and learn to manage his own emotions. You never know what will come of it. Sure D looks like the next step, but after than... you never know unless you decide it's done.
Hang in there, and keep separating his problems from being really about you at this point.
Me: 50 W:43 S6, S3 M: 12 yrs. T: 17 M is bad & Not happy Bomb Mar '14 S 5 Feb '15 D Bomb 13 Apr '15 (but "no hurry") DB Coach May '15 Wants proceed on D Aug '15 Starting 1-on-1 negotiations Sept '15
I am glad ur meating is over...moving forward, right.
Your house situation. You will just have to decide what is best for you. That will not be easy to come to terns on. Have you ever spoken with a financial planner - not a lawyer? They have good insights about your financial well being that may not be appearant, might help with your decision.
I need help setting a boundary and being stern. H texted me this morning to say that his mother was going to pick up S4 from school early because he had a meeting after work so he wouldn't be done until late. Wednesday are my night form 5-7 unless I can't watch him. I texted him back saying that was fine as long as she dropped him off at the church event we were already going to. He wrote back that I should call her and work it out.
I just got a long text from his Mom when I texted her if she had a minute to talk logistics for tonight.
Mom: "I had told S that I would be picking him up early and he was excited. We are decorating for Halloween and I made dinner. If I had known about church I wouldn't have promised, now he will think I forgot. I need to know his schedule so I don't promise something I cannot keep"
Me: The same can be said for me, I was unaware that the normal schedule had changed until this morning. I didn't know you had made plans.
So I want to text H and say: The schedule is for me to have S4 on Wed from 5-7 unless I can't watch him.I don't mind if your Mom or anyone wants to do things with him but if it takes place on my time then I need it to be cleared through me first.
What do you think? Too harsh. I am so sick of this BS happening every other week. I need to set my foot down.
Me:33 H:36 T:13 years M:10 years S4 Separated 05/15 H Filed 06/15
That's fine, but there needs to be consequences and time frame. -------------
So I want to text H and say: This weeks schedule is for me to have S4 on Wed from 5-7 and a change to this has been proposed. Unless I can't watch him.I don't mind if your Mom or anyone wants to do things with him I will cooperate with this change on this occasion, in future I want WH and I to clear with the other any schedule changes the day before to avoid disappointment.
Just my view
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
