No I am not protected from her clearing me out. She is joint owner on all things financial. We both work and this weekend I asked her about withdrawing the cash from our checking account. She replied she don’t have to tell me. Historically, making a purchase or withdrawing $150 or more was something we communicated. For the past 1.5 years she felt she doesn’t have to tell me anything (this comes from her feeling that I made her feel guilty for buying or doing things for herself; I see that now but NEVER did that intentionally). And yes, $2k is a lot of $$ IMHO.
Still getting to understand how this posting/replying works. I shared with Cadet above “We both work and this weekend I asked her about withdrawing the cash from our checking account. She replied she don’t have to tell me. Historically, making a purchase or withdrawing $150 or more was something we communicated. For the past 1.5 years she felt she doesn’t have to tell me anything” suppose this is her 180 “(this comes from her feeling that I made her feel guilty for buying or doing things for herself; I see that now but NEVER did that intentionally). And yes, $2k is a lot of $$ IMHO.”
Being new to resources (website and DB/DR books) but have been fight an uphill battle with WW (doing all the things a LBH should NOT do) I see that 180’s do work. But my 180’s are the things my WW has been asking for for many years. So, my sit, the 180’s go against Sandi’s list for what a LBH should do with a WW. What do I do?? Help??
WW continues to move her items out of MBR. I agree on the postings I have read that the individual who is WAS should move out of MBR however W is furious and makes comments that its nothing new; a reflection of my selfishness. Those punches sting because I can see how it’s perceived based on her shared view of our history. But then she is choosing to be with OM.
Consciously, I know I should not focus on the affair and the OM but this is so difficult to do when I am spiraling out of control. WW even made a comment that I send so much time/energy on it that I did not even spend a faction of that time/energy on our MR; and shared she is upset at that. Honestly I have to agree with her on this comment; I hate myself for it.
Hi 123mich. I also waited too long - I think - although they do say "it is never too late!" my H walked out 13 months ago. After 2 years of an EA which he consistently denied. Now is in full blown PA with Ow. They are trying to find place to live together. We do not have any legal separation or anything. I have been doing monthly expenses and have to ask H for his share of money to cover. H is creating a huge financial mess.
Hi Jpeg, I am concern WW will create $$ mess. Like you, we are not legally separated and the state I live in deems marriage as common property; basically she can destroy us (as well as individually) $$. She is a spender.
Yesterday, I got an email alert from financial institution that the online password was changed. Why?
Posting the events that led up to WW removing her wedding ring. Earlier this year, after talking about our M and confronting her of OM she took her ring off and placed it on top of my dresser for me to see but the very next day she take it back to wear; this happened twice.
Then one day at work she texted me a picture of her wedding band missing a diamond. We get it fixed (this is before I came upon this website and the books). During the time it was at the jeweler getting repaired we had another discussion on M and OM. This time is different. She picked up the repaired wedding band from the jeweler and placed the wedding ring and band on my dresser. She did not touch it for weeks until recently because I made a comment that the wedding ring and band is for her not me. Well, it’s not on my dresser any longer and I have no idea what she did with it.
