Dealing with WW, Kids, and Divorce

[WhyUs]

We have been living in different places since the Mid June. We were living in separate rooms for about 4 week prior to that. I did not realize at while we were in separate rooms she was planning to leave. She led me to believe we had a chance. I do not think she will be coming back anytime soon. She has a lease on an apartment and she and her family have spent a lot of money on furniture and stuff. Honestly, I do not want her back right now. It is going to take time for us to work through all of the hurt before we get to that point.

I already resent her for what she has done. I know that I am a very forgiving person and in time I will be able to heal and forgive. However, it will take some work on both sides. I am currently trying to change myself. I think about how to become a better me every day. Hopefully, one day she will be ready to accept responsibility for her actions and the breakdown of this marriage and family.

[WhyUs]

I was thinking about the last year or so we were together and remembered some things that my WW wanted me to do.

She did not like that I spent so much time on the computer. I worked from home and was on the computer all day. I would read the news sometimes for hours when she came home. She would tell me that I need to get involved with different things.

I did just that, I became involved with several hobbies. Not once did she ever complain. However, it was like I was gone all the time. I wonder how much this contributed to the breakdown in our marriage.

I have said before that the last 6 months we were together we were like ships passing in the night. When we did communicate it was about business or finances or logistics with the kids, all stressful things.

I wonder if she wanted me away because she was falling out of love with me. I wonder if it is because she wanted to have hobbies and was self-projecting. God I wish I could discuss these things with her. The WW I new before would have been willing to talk about these things 7 months ago. In fact she was the type to talk about it for hours on end.

I wish she would just snap out of it and give it one last try. I wish she would make one last ditch effort. I wish there was a solution other than wait it out and work on myself. Why can't there just be pill to fix all of this.

[WhyUs]

Just found out it turned into a PA for 100%. She is in his state. She asked me to keep the kids tomorrow and her mother is keeping them all weekend. No on would mention where she was. I was able to find by means I will not mention.

I did not think it would anger me like this but it does. My top is about to explode. It is taking every bit of strength I have to not call her or text her right now.

I don't even know if her family knows. I doubt anyone knows.

[Jpeg]

Please let me know if you find the pill

[WhyUs]

Why does it always seem to be one thing after another. In the back of my mind I thought it would become a PA. I told myself it was a possibility. I was also hoping that she would come to her senses before it did and we would work things out.

It is so hard not to call her family and ask them if they know she is there. I am sure she told them she went on a business trip somewhere. What good would it do--none. Just need to STFU and keep cool. If anything this just helps my case with the custody and alimony.

I hate that this is affecting me so much.

[WhyUs]

Has anyone had success in getting the courts to change a temporary custody order? If so, what types of things supported the change?

[SunnyB]

Why, I have zero experience with court orders. But can I ask why do you want to make the change? Is it really what's best for the kids? Or are you just trying to make it difficult for your W? Be honest here, no one is judging you, we're all in this together.

[WhyUs]

Hey,

It is in the best interest of the kids. WW is not allowing me to see them when she is going out of town to see OM for 4 days at a time. She is not allowing them to play sports because I am the coach. They have told me they are afraid she will get mad if I talk to her about their school. She has asked them to choose between the two of us. There is just a combination of different things that keep adding up.--She has a drinking issue. OM is a drug addict and she wants to bring him back to live with her according to S19(does not matter until it happens I know).

The most recent obviously is her going out of town to see OM and still not allowing the kids to stay with me. She knows I am a great father and has always said so. It is just a control issue for her right now.

I honestly feel that she is not capable of providing a safe co-parenting environment for the children right now.

Lastly, yes, I do miss my kids and want to be with them. I have always been very involved in their lives. So I have my own selfish reasons as well. Those reasons will not matter to the court.

I just do not know if the reasons I have given will matter either.

[overcom]

I believe you can. Best to talk to a family attorney.

[overcom]

Actually I spoke to a social worker (my friend) and she was saying if you know that the kids can be in harmful situation and you don't say anything you can be held responsible as well because you didn't let the court know.