Over and out

[Uphill]

Great to hear from you NDY! Glad you are doing well with everything you have going on! Keep us posted buddy, we're here for you

[NDY]

Thanks Uphill. It's odd but I feel really good. Excited about this new chapter in my life.

Just to say to all the noobs. It may not work out the way you hope but the DB principles and this place certainly help you get through it.

Hope Huddy is ok.

[Huddy]

Hi NDY

Funny, I was just checking in on Ghost when I noticed you!

Glad you're doing OK. Still in the same place really. Looks like the house will sell very soon. W has been given a 'NIN' notice from the council (that means they have officially told her she isn't liable for council housing and has no credits and doesn't qualify for homeless treatment)but is still temp checking.

Still temp checking me. I find it easier to not respond though, now. Still confused though. If she's going, why does she still want me on her car insurance? Why was she telling me yesterday that she was renewing the kids milk order at school, especially as her only alternative to not getting a house, is to go back to her parents? No idea, but I am more relaxed now and have accepted that 'she's going' and it's up to her if she wants to return.

I'm sleeping fully now and just enjoying being wit the kids. Do you know, I haven't got angry with them since BD. Maybe it's because I know how much I would miss them not being in my daily life that I am taking every opportunity to just have fun!

My W seems to have days of enormous lows where she just sits on the settee sulking, then being nice, then being angry at really odd things, like me doing the washing.

Don't really update my sitch much now. Anyway, good to hear from you. Hope the house search goes well!

[NDY]

Hi mate

Hi NDY

Funny, I was just checking in on Ghost when I noticed you!

Glad you're doing OK. Still in the same place really. Looks like the house will sell very soon. W has been given a 'NIN' notice from the council (that means they have officially told her she isn't liable for council housing and has no credits and doesn't qualify for homeless treatment)but is still temp checking.

That's going to be tough for her.

Still temp checking me. I find it easier to not respond though, now. Still confused though. If she's going, why does she still want me on her car insurance? Why was she telling me yesterday that she was renewing the kids milk order at school, especially as her only alternative to not getting a house, is to go back to her parents? No idea, but I am more relaxed now and have accepted that 'she's going' and it's up to her if she wants to return.

Yea, they do weird things. My WW did the same with our car insurance. Strange thing to do. I'm glad your more relaxed. So am I.

I'm sleeping fully now and just enjoying being wit the kids. Do you know, I haven't got angry with them since BD. Maybe it's because I know how much I would miss them not being in my daily life that I am taking every opportunity to just have fun!

This is great to hear. Yea, be the best dad ever. I'm the same as much as I can be with S10. But being on my own makes finding time to do the chores difficult. Actually I don't really care about the chores. I'd rather spend time with him.

My W seems to have days of enormous lows where she just sits on the settee sulking, then being nice, then being angry at really odd things, like me doing the washing.

I have no idea what's going on with my WW but the language in her communications have definitely got lighter and more humorous since she knows I'm definitely done and pushing for D. All the opportunity she had to move this on she never lifted a finger. Well that's not strictly true she got a home report and ran to a lawyer. Now that I'm done the house is already on the market and I've already conducted a viewing with more to come. So she could have had this sewn up already but didn't. And all the while keeping her secrete.

Don't really update my sitch much now. Anyway, good to hear from you. Hope the house search goes well!

Thanks mate.

One thing I will say. If your W stays local (considering the upheaval and subsequent Legal arguments of moving the kids with or without legal aid) then although you won't get to see them every day being out of the sitch will help. Ok, it does get lonely when you don't have them or your W but that's ok, that's where the GAL kicks in.

Good luck mate and keep us up to date with your progress.

[sandi2]

I wish you all the best. I'm so sorry for the pain you and S10 have experienced. I have seen my grandchildren go through the same thing.

So he's met the OM and he likes him. This guy is sooooper cool. Great. He volunteered this information, his mum didn't make him tell me about the meet.

My EX-DIL'S OM was cool, too. He worked real hard to win the kids over. It almost killed my son, b/c he felt he was losing his entire family to this OM. I'll tell you the same as I told him, and hope it will comfort you. This OM has to work to win your S10 over. You don't have to work to get S10 to like you, b/c you already have his love & adoration. Nobody will ever take away what S10 feels for you. No matter how cool the OM may seem, he can't replace you in the heart of your son. You will always his Dad. OM is new, but that newness will wear off.

I am glad to hear you are feeling better. You are going to okay. My prayers go with you and your son. ((hugs))

[Pyrite]

hey NDY,

well that sux mate. i'll be next in line for this clobbering I reckon. they're gone, it's over, you accept it, even like it maybe - but I can appreciate that this would hurt.

dependent arising, bodhichita.

in physics terms - we and our WASs are now on orthogonal trajectories, which in general cannot interact. However, the "event" of "collision" may spawn other particles - see electron-positron annihilation, pair production. So her "path" may cross mine (changeovers), there is a brief interaction, but my path is not altered, she remains on hers, we might do a loop in a magnetic field, interact briefly again, and continue. Her path and properties thereof are totally irrelevant to me and mine.

it's is only ever those properties which we share, the kids, that enjoy any interaction. everything else remains effectively invisible.

we're gonna have a great life buddy. you just wait and see

[NDY]

Hey py. Thanks mate. I totally get that and yes, we ARE going to have a great life. TBH I don't want to go back. I want to move forward and it will be good. I know that once I sell this place and move to a new area life will be fantastic.

I'm TOTALLY detached now. Nothing she can say or do affects me much. I don't hurt. I don't think about her except in practical terms. I took V's advice and let it go.

And it feels good.

Peace.

[PigPen]

Great update NDY, you really got put through a tough one too!

You're inspiring with how well you're moving forward and with the positive attitude you've adopted. Your S10 may have had some challenging cards dealt to him, but is sure looks like he's got a great Dad to guide him through the process.

I truly with nothing but the best for you and your S10, a life of peace, happiness, contentment. Really sounds like those are your priorities too and I have no doubt that you'll achieve them.

Sending you strength NDY, you're a good man.

PP

[NDY]

Thanks PP. that really means a lot. And I truly mean that.

[Huddy]

There's the rub. Mrs NDY didn't see that. That's a shame. Onwards!