It feels weird. I don't want to quit, but I am done being pushed around and toyed with. There lies the conflict inside me. I think I am going to like the new me! I didn't expect my feelings to change for quite a while, but here I am. I am excited to start doing house plans though. Feels good to have a goal that excites me.
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
I didn't expect my feelings to change for quite a while, but here I am.
For me, it honestly started once I started to actually set goals and work towards them. Thats why I talk about it so much on here. Spending the time to figure out what I wanted and start to work toward it allowed me to take my focus off of my wife and our relationship and out it where I want it to go.
Now that you are working on you, its time to achieve all of those goals you set!
I'm jumping on the goal setting bandwagon, too! Once I started making plans that didn't revolve around H, my entire attitude changed. I'm still going forward with those plans, too. I've taken control of my life back, and I'm happy.
I am so proud of you, D! You're doing so well. Pat yourself on the back for me, okay?
You guys are such a big help. This is like a big family, full of people in dysfunctional sitchs. Lol. Anyway, thank you all, because you guys are helping me through this.
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
My mind is bouncing tonight. I feel sorry for her, she had everything she had asked for and is throwing it away. I hope she realizes, and tries to work it out, to be a greater couple. Sometimes I wish that I hadn't ever met her. But then I wouldn't have my boys.
She is troubled and I still pray for her. Maybe she will come around. I pray that too. But right now, every minute that passes is going to make it so much harder to make it right.
I have done the math, and she will not have any money for food, gas, etc. After daycare, mortgage, van payment, utilities she will have nothing left. If she hasn't seen this yet, then there must be someone else willing to pay for her. So, she is either extremely short sighted or has someone on the side. Not sure which is worse. Being completely uncaring about my kids, or having been betrayed. Either way, after that line of thinking the hole she is in is much deeper.
Not my circus. Not my monkeys. It's all on her
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
I still have trouble with no expectations. I had a dream that she came to realize what she had done, and wanted to work on us. So I think that affected me today. We are both on the board for this basketball league, so we were both here. She tried to get me to do something, but I was taking the forms and money before she got here, so I stayed at my spot and she went and mingled. It's amazing the way she has to sit with people now, nobody will sit with her. We live in a small town, and she is rapidly losing her approval rating. It saddens me, but she needs to wake up to realize it. She will soon be alone, if she doesn't wake up. I feel bad for my kids, because their buddies families are pulling back from her, and them too
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
The fact remains that you love her. Of course, you feel badly for her and worry; that's a natural thing that people who love engage in.
The best thing I read is that you stated you realize she has to live with the results of her choices. That is the best thing we can do for people we love. Too often, we swoop in to save them from themselves - which ensures they learn nothing.
If you ever wind up together again, and are certain you never want to experience this situation again...
Let her fall, all the way down. Do it lovingly, from a distance. People never appreciate what they have unless life has taught them some really hard lessons.
This is easy for me to say, much harder to do. You seem to be doing really well! Your mindset is much improved, you are committed and involved with your kids, you're getting out and doing things...You are becoming a DB success!
So proud of you, D. You're doing great.
Yes, the big sister in me is always coming out...lol
Thanks Judy, I need the big sister. I am leaning on a cousin of mine, since I don't have parental guidance. So you all are very helpful.
That ace score thing, I am not even going to go there because it will probably scream Basket Case! Lol
I am getting better, stronger. W looked very nice today. She must really like this new pair of jeans, she has wore them the last 3 days I was around her. She is taking the kids to family stuff, and then the movies. Her parents are probably handing her money, enabling her. Nothing I can do there.
Still love the old her. Her power over me is fading though, along with my resolve to wait for her. I have been trying since February and have gotten very little back. Some of her "new" friends were talking to me, saying they had no idea since they always see us together. They said "it makes no sense".
Pretty much sums it up to me too
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
