"Pray and you will get the answers," I have no idea what he is talking about. Sounds like he is playing mind games. He either does or does not know why he said it. Him telling you to go somewhere else for the answer to his words is an excuse not to answer. Ignore it! Do not spend another second on trying to understand it and do not ask about it again.
Good job on keeping your spirits high. I do believe his connection with God will help him through this. However, do not listen to his words. His actions will tell you the reality of his relationship with the Lord.
Me: 30's W: 30's M: 12yrs EA: Started 3/2015 MC Started: 4/2015 She moved out and served 6/2015 PA: Confirmed 10/5/2015 2 young kids
"If you do not stand for something you will fall for anything."
Thanks whyus. I swear I am feeling so good and feeling so confident and I am really working on my self esteem. I have a lot of work but I am working on it. And I am finally feeling pretty. I'm down 5 more lbs and still going. I am hurting but at end of the day I need to do this for me. I believe I am lovable and able to love so I need to do this for me. Thanks for your continuing support... I hope your doing well? Have you been gal? I need to work On that as well!!!
Me 34 H 33 Married 2006 S5 D2 BD Jan 2015 EA/PA He moved out 2/2/2015 Came back 5/2015 Filed divorce papers 8/21/2015
You are very welcome. I have been doing a lot better. I still wish this was some nightmare. Everything seems surreal at times.
I was running every other day but I injured my knee so that is setting me back. I do GAL often. If it was not for that I would go nuts.
I noticed we are about the same age. I am 34 and my WW is 33. We married 1yr before you. I am about 2yrs ahead of you in the kids department.
It is amazing to me that with children in the picture our spouses do this. It really is like they are possessed or something. Never in a million years would I have expected this out of my W. Everyday it crosses my mind that I hope I get that call from WW wanting to talk and her apologizing. I know it is not going to come anytime soon but I sure to wish it would. I have not spoken to her since she left over 3 months ago. The only time I hear her voice is in the background when I talk to my kids on the phone.
Me: 30's W: 30's M: 12yrs EA: Started 3/2015 MC Started: 4/2015 She moved out and served 6/2015 PA: Confirmed 10/5/2015 2 young kids
"If you do not stand for something you will fall for anything."
Oh no knee injuries are the worst. Hope you feel better. So what kind of stuff do you? I have no idea what to do or take the kids. Do you see the kids? I don't know what is worse not seeing her or talking to her or seeing her every day and not being able to hold her or kiss or talk to her like normal. That is my situation.
I hear lots of young couples getting divorces. It really [censored] to be here and in this position. I never ever thought I'd be here too. We were inseparable. Each others backbone. I don't know how I'll ever recover from this heartache I too every day wait for him to say I love you I want you back.
Last edited by overcom; 10/01/1507:49 PM.
Me 34 H 33 Married 2006 S5 D2 BD Jan 2015 EA/PA He moved out 2/2/2015 Came back 5/2015 Filed divorce papers 8/21/2015
So h called or actually he text saying are you going to bring the kids to the restaurant and I was already going to get out of the house so I can go get D2's medicine she's had a fever for the past 4 days so I just dropped them off at the restaurant and I said I'll be back I'm going to go pick up the medicine from my moms house and he was like oh okay I got to the restaurant you know and I didn't even say hi I just said hi to everybody else and that was it. good!!
He kept looking at me to see if I'm going to look at him to see if I was going to be sad but I was laughing and smiling. How did I do?? nicely done.....so far....
Update: he came home and saw me reading the Bible and he looked sad and I said to him cry out your problems to our lord. hmmmm...I'm not a big fan of this conversation though. I don't think he wants you to preach to him. I'm not sure how this was said, but it sounds judgy and controlling.
We had a nice chat about finding God again and asking forgiveness and helping you with your problems. I said yes I'm hurting but he's helping me get through this. Without him I'd be contemplating suicide again. NOOOOOOOO...why are you telling him how much you are hurting? Don't give him that POWER and CONTROL over you. Even if it's true, don't TELL him that! You are a strong, confident, beautiful woman - and YOU did that.
I asked him what he ment by saying this is only papers... his answer was pray and you'll get your answer. What does that mean? it means the same thing we've been telling you! But when he says it, it means he wants to keep you around in case OW doesn't work out. "It's only papers. I'll always love you. But if this works out with OW, then tough luck!"
Anyway I kept my confidence high amd didn't cry or mop. I was in great spirits and even made him laugh. thats my opinion anyway. I think you need to stop showing him and telling him about how hurt you are. I think you need to pullback farther and really start to build your confidence.
Azzork hahhah I knew that was wrong but it was too late. Ugh .. I have pulled back further. I won't say it again I promised to myself that. But I wasn't trying to be judge and controlling lol but I'm trying so hard. I wish you could see it in person. I really am...
Me 34 H 33 Married 2006 S5 D2 BD Jan 2015 EA/PA He moved out 2/2/2015 Came back 5/2015 Filed divorce papers 8/21/2015
Trust me, it's clear. Your posts are so incredibly different than they were a month ago. I can see the confidence starting to come back and I'm so glad for you. Just keep going.
I know your one of the reasons I have this courage. You and judy, photo, v, whyus, etc keep me encouraged and keep me going. I was ready to give up. But lots of work to be done!!!! How are you doing?
Me 34 H 33 Married 2006 S5 D2 BD Jan 2015 EA/PA He moved out 2/2/2015 Came back 5/2015 Filed divorce papers 8/21/2015
O, Azzork is right, you are getting stronger. And this is just the beginning.
Yes, validate him. I saved the list of validation phrases on my phone and when I get really bored, like waiting for an appointment or something, I reread the list. I usually find something "new" that pops out at me. Now putting it into use is another story, I have problems with validating stupid spew, but I am getting better. "wow I can see how stressful it is for you when I use hand gestures." Whatever. If it calms him down. For me the trick (when I can do it) is to not really listen to the content of what H says as much as the feeling he has behind it. The content is really strange sometimes. A reflection of his confusion. But the feelings are real.
