Keep at it. My friends were almost all married, but they've slowly introduced me to others who are becoming new friends and the opportunities are expanding. I also felt like some of my hope for new friends through some of my GAL activities was just wishful thinking, but lately that has changed. May take longer than you think, but like other aspects of DBing, patience and persistence pay off.
Me: 50 W:43 S6, S3 M: 12 yrs. T: 17 M is bad & Not happy Bomb Mar '14 S 5 Feb '15 D Bomb 13 Apr '15 (but "no hurry") DB Coach May '15 Wants proceed on D Aug '15 Starting 1-on-1 negotiations Sept '15
Keep at it. My friends were almost all married, but they've slowly introduced me to others who are becoming new friends and the opportunities are expanding. I also felt like some of my hope for new friends through some of my GAL activities was just wishful thinking, but lately that has changed. May take longer than you think, but like other aspects of DBing, patience and persistence pay off.
In my agreement with W, I have the kids weekend nights, so I find myself at home with not much to do often when my friends are busy.
But, you CAN make new friends through GAL activities. I just checked and in my FB messenger, 7 of my 8 most recent discussions are with friends I've made since BD. Sometimes, I look around and can't recognize my life anymore, for better or worse.
I've had a similar week where I had too much time on my hands and not much motivation to tackle projects. I need to be more deliberate about making plans. I also want to try a couple of Meet Up groups when I feel a little bit less emotional about my situation. I'm somewhat of an introvert so meeting new people is hard for me but I'm determined to do it. Hang in there!
Me53 H48 M 13 No children together BDMay '15 PA June '15 H moves out,files 8/15 wants "quick divorce" but does nothing Me sending proposal 12/15, court dates upcoming
BT, you have been doing a lot of deep reflective work lately, and while that's all to the good, it can also trigger emotional states, so go easy on yourself. The weight loss is awesome! Do you have a reward for yourself if you lose those ten? If I lose 20 more I'm getting myself a new dining room table.
Hugs
E
M 46 / H 43 T 24/M 18 S 4 11/6/2014 ILYBNILWY 1/16/2015 Living in separate bedroom 1/8/2016 H moved out
BT, you have been doing a lot of deep reflective work lately, and while that's all to the good, it can also trigger emotional states, so go easy on yourself. The weight loss is awesome! Do you have a reward for yourself if you lose those ten? If I lose 20 more I'm getting myself a new dining room table.
Hugs
E
Yes, I think your right. Reading R books just makes me think how solvable our issues are and makes me want to keep trying to fight. I keep kicking myself for not picking up a book years ago, but then I think given how little character my H is showing now, whose to say it would have made a difference. H likely would have still gone through whatever this is, so we might have ended up here regardless. It's his journey.
Have not really thought about a reward for the 10lbs. Need to think about it!
Me: 42 H: 40 M: 12 H moved out - 8/2015 I filed - 8/2015
Not sure what that means, Painter. Just looked it up and it seems that H's A started when Mercury was in retrograde for his sign. That R must be doomed for sure!
Me: 42 H: 40 M: 12 H moved out - 8/2015 I filed - 8/2015
Thanks for helping me keep my spirits up. Today is better, though I am still feeling extra emotional. Tears have just been flowing more than they have in a while.
Ok, so I am having thoughts of withdrawing D petition. I am not sure if that is the right thing to do. My H still wants D. I never did and it kills me that I let him push me into a corner to feel I had to file. This is why you should not file when you are angry and over emotional.
My L said I would have to get H to agree to joint withdrawal order. Not sure why I can't just do it if I am the one who filed first. I am sure that H would just turn around and file.
Am I crazy?! Please help me think this through! The more reading and learning I do, the more this whole situation is so unnecessary. If my H truly woke up and did decided he did not want D he would say so and stop it, right? I feel as though I let my self fall into the abyss of acceptance and am trying to crawl back out in a panic.
It's official. I have lost my mind.
Last edited by BT13; 09/28/1507:58 PM.
Me: 42 H: 40 M: 12 H moved out - 8/2015 I filed - 8/2015
