Where do I go from here, pt. 3

[WhyUs]

becky,

I completely understand where you are coming from. I badly want to the M to be fixed but also know it is unrealistic in many ways. I am fine now with the M ending but I also love W. The thing I have to remind myself is that it is W that I am in love with, not WW. W is long gone now and was replaced by WW who I do not know or love.

I desperately want to change WW back to W. However, from what I pick up on these boards, that is not going to happen and I will find myself in a world of her waiting for it to happen or trying to make it happen.

[beckyb]

Unfortunately, I think my H was so far gone by BD that I never had a chance.

[Ancaire]

I think it might be God. I understand the impatience, too. I've made lots of early mistakes, and owe H some apologies for those. I will do that today.

Pray for clarity. You may get an answer. I will add my prayers to yours.

[ATPeace]

Hi Becky I think if truth is known most are so far gone by bomb day that most of us will never have a chance

It is something that we have to except we cannot control the other person is thinking we cannot control their emotions and the bottom line is if they want out the marriage there is little we can do about it

Now all I have to do is convince myself of what I've just told you

Hugs to you becky

Ghost

[beckyb]

Thank you Anicare.

[beckyb]

Yep. I just want to proceed in a Godly way. I am detaching and working on me. It's hard though.

[Avanti]

Yep. I just want to proceed in a Godly way. I am detaching and working on me. It's hard though.

And you are doing a good job too, keep it up! No one said it would be easy but your approach IS making it easier that's for sure.

[beckyb]

H just texted to ask if he had mail and said he wanted to talk to me. He was near the house. I am at work thankfully. I don't want to see him. I asked him to send me an email or call me later. He needs to just work through his lawyer.

[Avanti]

...I badly want to the M to be fixed but also know it is unrealistic in many ways...

Those are just your thoughts WhyUs, they are not fact. You can change them if you want to and no I am not talking about going all Pollyanna I'm saying you can think differently if you choose to, beware of self-fulfilling prophecies.

... I am fine now with the M ending but I also love W. The thing I have to remind myself is that it is W that I am in love with, not WW. W is long gone now and was replaced by WW who I do not know or love...

This is a great mindset. You don't know if you truly don't love her, that part of your affection is packed away, but that doesn't mean it has ceased to exist.

...I desperately want to change WW back to W. However, from what I pick up on these boards, that is not going to happen and I will find myself in a world of her waiting for it to happen or trying to make it happen...

By continuing to work on yourself, you will learn to accept this and can then decide for yourself, where you stand and what you are going to do, at the moment it is stated in the manner of a self-fulfilling prophecy. It will change if you keep up the work.

[Avanti]

H just texted to ask if he had mail and said he wanted to talk to me. He was near the house. I am at work thankfully. I don't want to see him. I asked him to send me an email or call me later. He needs to just work through his lawyer.

You did exactly the right thing, "I am busy now call me later when I have some time for you", bravo! Who's the boss now? :-)
That's a bit of an overstated view of it but ultimately it was you showing him that you aren't at his beckon call anymore and he'd better wise up.