Hi Overcom, I think perhaps it is best to try and see him as you would a machanic who has come to do some work on a vehicle at your house. If that were the case, would you hang out with him whilst your kids played out? No - you'd probably just sit nearby with your cup of tea, be playing with the kids or do some yard work.
Maybe you would check in with the mechanic occasionally to say, 'how's it going' but mostly you would be doing your own thing.
So, maybe try and put the fact that he is your H to one side. He's the mechanic now.
Have a good weekend my friend xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
so the truck is gone for 2 weeks. now what. he still hasnt served me with the divorce papers which im waiting for any day now. ugh. my stomach is in knots... i have been saying this new prayer everyday...
Dear Heavenly Father, 

I humbly come before you and thank you for saving us from distress when we call out in trouble and thank you for being there for us when things are good in our lives. We love you Dear God we seek and require You earnestly. Thank You Lord, for your kindness, tolerance, and patience with us when we fall into sin, and thank you for sending Christ to die for our sins and redeem us by the cross.
I come before you Lord to petition you in Prayer and ask your blessing on me and my Husband to come together in harmony with sympathy, compassion and humility, faithfulness, honesty, respect and most of all love.

Lord, You have made us one in flesh and spirit and You are a witness to our marriage covenant. I believe that the Holy Spirit will come upon my Husband so that he never forget your teachings and that He keeps your commands in his heart. I believe that the Holy Spirit is working in our marriage, that my Husband will not be deceived by the persuasive words of anyone who would lead him astray or attempt to seduce him.
I give You praise and honor, Lord, and I thank you that no weapon formed against our marriage has prospered and I believe that You Lord will silence anyone who is attempting to come between us, telling my spouse that reconciliation is wrong. With the spiritual authority given to me in Jesus name, I rebuke anyone who would attempt to put a wedge between myself and my spouse- through ungodly advice, use of banned spiritual arts as mentioned in the bible for direction, or through false teachings or words.
Lord, I believe the Holy Spirit is working in my spouses life right now, ministering to his heart, and I believe the Holy Spirit will righteously convict and correct my spouses thoughts, words and actions and place in his heart the burning desire to rebuild our marriage because (he) knows life is better with me and the grass is NOT greener in other pastures as the deception of the world leads us to believe. I petition you dear Lord, that P would humbly accept Your conviction and correction and seek your direction.
Lord, I ask You to convict and deal with any unconfused sin in hi life. Enable us to deal with any sin that would be hindering our marriage. Lord, I believe it is in your Will that we are reconciled back to each other despite anything we’ve done to each other in the past and I forgive my husband for any wrongs I feel he has done as I pray that he forgives me. 

God, Your words are trustworthy and you have promised these things to me though your words given throughout the ages through the profits, disciples and Jesus. You have promised that You will build a home for me and that it pleases You to bless my marriage. I praise and thank You Lord, for keeping the promise you have made concerning me, my husband and our home.

Lord I believe you will guard the fidelity of our marriage in this time, and will keep his eyes blinded to temptations of our Human nature or the influence of the Devil. In the name of Jesus, I pray that You would bind the work of Satan from this marriage and cast that influence away.
Lord, I believe that my husband will acknowledge you and listen to your still soft voice in their head and heart. I believe if he tries to push away from Your wisdom and attempt to reject your words, your words on marriage will be exposed to him through TV, Magazine, Books, and your messages will grow louder and louder to correct P into your Will for our marriage.

Lord, I believe You will be here with me to assist me in staying strong and courageous throughout all the trials, struggles and issues , and I praise you for not allowing me to be afraid or feeling discouraged if things don’t seem to be progressing in my time. Your power is greater than the power of Satan and all who do his work, and I believe all good things will be done on Earth and in Heaven in Your time, such as the restoration of my marriage. I refuse to be discouraged, I refuse to be defeated. You are the God of all hope and I claim in every way this victory in my marriage though your Word.

And I praise You that everything we have been through has not quenched his love for me
 and our love for each other. I pray we will live together in harmony with sympathy, compassion and humility, and that we inherit Your blessings.

Father, I plead that we will speak the truth to one another in love. Cause us to honestly share our feelings without being arrogant or spiteful. Replace those feelings, Holy Spirit, with love and honesty and enable us to work through our differences.
Jesus, I plead that we will put away all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and slander, along with every form of malice. In the place of this, I pray that we/they would be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other. Father, I pray that You would rekindle passion and desire between myself and P , and heal any emotional wounds we may have caused one another. It is Your Will that marriages to be for a lifetime and therefore go has joined together, let no man separate. I ask that this petition of prayer be read aloud, before all the angels of Heaven, before Jesus, the Holy Spirit and You my God. And I believe you will move to save and strengthen our marriage and I ask in the name of Jesus that You will do whatever it takes to protect and defend this marriage and place a hedge of protection over our home. In Your Mighty Holy Name O’God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit- Amen.
Me 34 H 33 Married 2006 S5 D2 BD Jan 2015 EA/PA He moved out 2/2/2015 Came back 5/2015 Filed divorce papers 8/21/2015
Hi Overcom, I spent many months 'waiting' for D papers. I received a draft, but my H has yet to file. I may receive them today, I may never receive them. Who knows?
Try to let this go if you can. It is not yours to control, but your own life is. What are you doing this week to move forward yourself. Can you post some mini goals you want to achieve this week my friend?
((((Overcom))))
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Hi Sotto. I agree and have been letting go. I am just praying that if it's in God's will we will reconcile. My mini goals this week is to teach my son how to read 10 words. It is so hard and needs a lot of patience which in my state of mind I have none. 2nd mini goal is to start going on walks after school and work with my kids around the block and maybe even our rot. 3rd goal is to find a church I can attend to. This was last week's goal but have failed. I will find one soon tho... my 4th & 5th goal is to detach even more.
Me 34 H 33 Married 2006 S5 D2 BD Jan 2015 EA/PA He moved out 2/2/2015 Came back 5/2015 Filed divorce papers 8/21/2015
Hi Overcom, V put this well - it isn't so much a case of detaching from him as 'attaching' to your own life. If you are 'detaching from him' it's kind of still all about him. But if you are just getting on with your own life 'as if' he will never return, it's more about YOU! And let's face it, he may or may not ever return. But I think he's more likely to if he sees you moving confidently forward - though it's important you don't do it 'for him' you need to do it 'for you.'
Some of the successful things I've done are volunteering (charity book store), yoga class, aqua aerobics, womens social group, regular calligraphy workshop. I also make a point of accepting invites now - and I keep in regular touch with friends old & new, suggesting we do things together. The upshot is that most time spent with others, out, engaged in new interests, working - will be time spent thinking less about your sitch. I can honestly say that there is much about my 'new' life that I would be reluctant to give up. I'm not sure where that leaves 'us' but there we have it.
I have minimal contact with H. The last email contact we had was initiated by H and we had not been in touch for a month prior to that. We haven't spoken for a few months or seen each other for over a year. I resist 'urges' to be in touch with him and I go off and clean the oven or 'do anything' to avoid getting in touch.
I hope this helps. We are all different, but the above stuff has helped my progress for sure. xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
GAL doesn't have to be elaborate. Sometimes getting dressed and putting your make up on is GAL. Think small at first.
Me53 H48 M 13 No children together BDMay '15 PA June '15 H moves out,files 8/15 wants "quick divorce" but does nothing Me sending proposal 12/15, court dates upcoming
Overcome, I think you need those babies with you right now. But you can include them in your GAL- are there any playgroup meet ups in your area? Library story times for your kids? Make a list of all the playgrounds in your town and visit each one? Make a mission with the kids to find the best ice cream or pizza place in town? There are little things you can do to get out and still be with your kids. Staying home and cuddling is awesome too, but I know that can just bring on the tears and sometimes a change of scenery works wonders for your mood.
In addition to the "kid related" activities, you can find ways to include them in your interests. My hobby is photography, and I find that taking my kids out for a "photo" shoot is the best therapy, or even a hike and I will photograph nature or sunsets, but the kids can accompany me and "help", I also garden with my kids, or we cook together. Kids love farmers markets too, that is always good "together" but out time.
At some point you are going to want adult time, or alone time, but if you need those babies with you right now, then there are plenty of things you can do with them that are going to distract you from those tears and help you get through your days. You will get through this, take it one step at a time.
